Teme No Baka
by Hitome-Chan
Summary: Naruto Uzumaki didn’t NEED Sasuke, or his money, or his family but without him he'd be on the streets, without Sasuke he'd be on the run from demon-hunting "angels" and probably a little bit lonely. Luckily he's got Sasuke. SasuNaru AU
1. Chapter 1

**Teme No Baka**

**Summary: **Naruto Uzumaki didn't NEED Sasuke, or his money, or his family but without him he'd be on the streets, without Sasuke he'd be on the run from demon-hunting "angels" and probably a little bit lonely. Luckily he's got Sasuke. SasuNaru AU

**Author's Notes: **So Hitome-Chan here with another fiction, yes, this one will probably take me a year or two to finish as well, but I hope you enjoy the ride along the way. I've been doing this for a while and I've finally found a writing style that I can say is attractive to me, and hopefully this fiction won't be crap at first and then progress into a more aesthetically pleasing format.

* * *

**Chapter One **

Sasuke Uchicha was an artist, well, in this day and age he was a 'graphic designer' but he did so much more than just come up with signs to stick outside on the highways, he was a true artist. He loved to paint the most, oils, acrylics, water paint, whatever he loved it all. But as it was stated he couldn't be a painter, or a writer, or a dancer, or anything else that fell under the art category without it being horribly diluted down to something as simple as 'graphic designer'.

Of course his father hadn't been happy about it, their millions should not be mixed with such commoner money, but when he saw Sasuke's skill he folded, and Sasuke's wayward brother Itachi didn't seem to care one way or another what his little brother did, which was fine with him. His mother had been supportive, but of course she had been, the woman taught him everything he knew.

It was no surprise by the age of nineteen that he was featured in 'Forbes Young Millionaires' magazine, nor that the money had come from his own profit, not his father's.

Sasuke did however have a flaw, truthfully he didn't see it as a flaw, but his father did. Sasuke was gay. Well, not flamboyantly so, but he had his moments. Don't get him wrong or anything, there's nothing wrong with flamboyancy, but he was more extravagant in the way he spent his money, not the way he lived his life.

So he wasn't really all that flawed, but in his mind he was far from perfect, he acted cold, and he didn't have very many friends. Kakashi Hatake, a writer friend of his, and older than him by more than a couple of years, Gaara Shukaku, a young model, and Gaara's photographer boyfriend Rock Lee, who was for lack of a better word enthusiastic, were among the very few people he called his friends.

"Sasuke, you're daydreaming again," Sakura Haruno, his boss, pointed a finger at him.

"I was doing no such thing," He said, and moved a lock of hair out of his face, he smiled a bit when Sakura's face turned a deep cherry red, everyone in the office knew she had quite the infatuation with him, but she also knew she didn't have a chance sexual orientation considering.

She was…amiable. Sasuke didn't _hate _Sakura, but she wasn't his ideal person to call a friend, the two of them got along well enough he supposed, but when it came down to it she was pushy, bossy, and sometimes a bit unbearable. But hey, we all have our quirks.

"Well please get that ad done this week, I don't think I can put the deadline off anymore." She told him finally and waltzed off, it was sadly her better part of the day to come and talk to her most stubborn artist, but he did good work, he was no Sai, but he was pretty damn close, and she needed him here more for his aesthetically pleasing looks.

Sasuke looked down at his progress thus far, he was attempting to create an insurance ad, what stared back up at him was a doodle of a comic he'd been absentmindedly doing. It was pretty good, but only he would get any of the jokes in it.

After a while Sasuke decided to take the easy way out, in one panel he drew a car, a nice sports model, one that some young executive would probably drive, in the next he drew the thing smashing into the back of another car, a bulkier, less expensive car. At the bottom he put the name of the insurance company, and their motto: "Make Sure You're Covered."

It was simple, possibly too cartoonish, and done entirely too fast, but he placed it in a manila folder and laid it on his desk, he'd clean it up tomorrow, but he was utterly tired of wasting his talents on things like this.

Sakura's ad company, Haruno Entertainment, was commercial in everything, from television to books series. Her father had raised it from the ground up, and she had taken over after some extensive, yet unfruitful, training in the medical field, and she ran it well, even with no experience in the media.

Sasuke had walked to work today, and in retrospect it probably wasn't the best idea, since it was a two mile journey, and he'd come in a under the weather, hence his lack of work ethic.

"Sasuke!" Great. Rock Lee, and no Gaara to restrain his over-friendly nature. "You are looking less youthful today! Whatever is wrong my friend?" Why Gaara, a model, let his significant other leave their house in green spandex, calf socks, and a belt, with sandals, Sasuke never knew.

He took a breath before answering Lee. "Just kinda tired," He said truthfully.

"You've also got quite the fever." Kakashi announced, stealthily removing his hand from Sasuke's forehead. How long had that been there?

"Its nothing," Sasuke said, not surprised by Kakashi's skills, you had to be that sneaky when you were such a blatant pervert, poor Iruka had to deal with being sexually assaulted by his husband in public, but being the only one caught "indecent".

"What's nothing?" Sakura asked, coming out to see why people were starting to crowd her walkways, it was hard enough to get through these cubicle mazes without people standing there like buildings.

"It appears our Sasuke is coming down with some sort of bug! But I believe in his youthfulness to recover quickly!" Lee said emphatically. Sasuke glared at Rock Lee and hoped he'd burst into flames, he was used to the chili-bowl cut man's antics, but he always wore thin on him.

"A bug?" Sakura said she turned her stunningly green eyes on Sasuke. "Look, I can't have you here infecting everyone else, so I'm sending you home."

"Sending…Sakura I've never missed a day of work, ever, half or otherwise, I'm not going home yet." Sasuke said standing his ground. "Besides I'm almost done with the insurance thing."

Sakura brought her fingers up to the bridge of her nose. "Sasuke you don't even know the name of our client, go home, you can finish it there, I'm giving you the week off, no, you are not allowed to speak, close your mouth," She said to his protesting. "a week you haven't taken any vacation time this year anyway, don't worry, it'll be paid, better yet, it won't even take from your days off."

"Are you trying to get rid of me Sakura Haruno?" Sasuke asked growing annoyed.

"Well, let's just say if you're not here I might be able to get some work done, so yes, I am trying to get rid of you." Sakura said pushing him towards the elevator of the seven story building, each floor had a different department, but Sakura's office was at the top with the graphic design team, she had some small skills with a pen.

"Just cause you can't do your work cause your busy staring at me all day isn't my problem…I'll—I'll sue you!"

"Why?" Sakura laughed, and with one final push Sasuke was almost literally thrown into the elevator. "Because I'm making you take a paid vacation for sick days?" She laughed, and no one commented on how it was slightly maniacal. Damn that woman and her ox-like strength, and damn Lee for announcing his cold to the world.

Yes, he'd come into work not feeling too great, but after his first cup of coffee and some anti-congestion medication he had been up for the day, it wasn't his fault it had slowly been wearing off, now he was stuck in the elevator on the way down to the first floor. The elevator dinged, and a few people stepped on.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke had been so caught up in his own mind that he hadn't noticed it was a camera crew, holding lighting and everything else, one man even had a rolled up backdrop. Gaara's blood red hair and sapphire blue eyes were hard to mistake, especially with the dark make-up he wore around them.

"I—uh—well Sakura's sending me home for being sick." He said, trying not to cough roughly. "What about you?" As soon as it left his mouth he felt idiotic asking such an obvious question, especially to Gaara.

"I am going to a photoshoot." Gaara deadpanned, of course it didn't sound like he thought Sasuke was an idiot, but it was hard to tell with the stoic young man, considering when he only had one tone: sarcastic. They rode in silence for the rest of the ride down, the crew because they were scared of Gaara, he'd drawn blood on many shoots for their incompetence, and Sasuke because it was probably best for him to keep his mouth shut lest he look like an even bigger fool.

First floor; models and glamour everybody off. It was hard not to say 'See you around.' But our raven haired champion squelched his good-bye and walked briskly to the front door, if he was lucky he could get home, take some meds, wake up refreshed, and come back home.

"Fuck." Sasuke breathed as he got to the door. It was raining, why the hell did Sakura have the blinds closed if it was raining? How was he supposed to know it'd rain today?! December was such a difficult month, so temperamental. Cold and rainy, or cold and snowy, or cold and sleety, but barely much of anything, bundling his scarf over his neck he stepped out into the cold, rain, which was actually more like slush, and began trudging back home, cursing every employee in the damned building he worked in.

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki. A name not well known in the circuit of humans, it was even losing its appeal in Hell, but damn it that's who he was. Blond hair, blue eyes, tan skin, and loud mouth. That's how people knew who he was, even if they were forgetting him.

Now who was he? Ha! You probably don't know, silly mortal, foolish mortal, easily-killed-mortal. But that's fine, you probably shouldn't know who he is either, it might bring all kinds of different death to you, and believe you me there are some deaths that shouldn't be wished on anyone. The Uzumaki boy was in a simple word one of Kyuubi Yoko's slaves.

Kyuubi Yoko was a Demon Lord in the army of Hell, and Naruto was his prize for sparing his mother and father's life a few millennia ago. The boy never aged, physically or mentally, though the second one was for lack of trying, and for a demon he was anything but malevolent, maybe immature, maybe a bit thick, and maybe too innocent entirely, but not malevolent, which kept Kyuubi amused.

"I don't know why you can't get your own damn food, stupid fox." Naruto complained for the fifteenth time that hour. So maybe "gift" was a strong word to use, but Kyuubi never looked a gift horse in the mouth as it were, and he'd grown slightly attached to Naruto, the boy was a fresh air when all he normally did was fight other crotchety, uninspired demons. He kept the boy busy as a way to listen to him complain, and truthfully Kyuubi was just downright lazy.

"Because," He said in a gruff voice, he was still in fox form, all nine tails flared out as far as possible, making him look even bigger, his eyes glowed dark red, and his fur flamed a bright orange. "if I got my own food then I wouldn't be the master, pup." Kyuubi said, smirking all the while and licking Naruto's cheek. "Now go retrieve my food before I eat something a little less appetizing and a little more annoying."

Naruto muttered something foul under his breath and was gone in a puff of smoke, Kyuubi smiling all the while his Cheshire grin.

"Master Kyuubi!" One of his other servants, a young man whose name he never cared to memorize rushed into his chambers, the boy was brunet, and not very remarkable in anyway, so it was no wonder that Kyuubi didn't care to remember him.

"Speak, before I roast you." The old demon barked.

"We're being invaded! A renegade squad of angels broke down the Gates and now their flooding the city!"

"Renegade—boy you're speaking foolishly, there are no such things are renegade angels, only regular angels, now, since you so rudely interrupted me I'm going to—"

But whatever he was going to say was silenced, three long and slender silver arrow were now piercing his chest. But this wasn't just any silver, it was of the Celestial variety, the boy, who's name was Ryu Tareharo, spun around quickly, he was sorely frightened by what he saw it was a—

The thought couldn't be completed though, he had been trying to send a message through to the High Council of Hell, but it did not appear that Lord Orochimaru received the message. The cloaked figure smirked at the job well done and set a piece of loose hair behind his ear, he beat his great wings and was hovering off the ground again, off to find and destroy another few demons.

When Naruto returned he had a plate piled high with unmentionable delicacies, he was about to shout something obscene upon his appearance but his mouth hung agape at the scene before him.

"K-kyuubi?" He asked, dropping his platter of disgust and running over to Kyuubi. "Come on, you aren't dead, come on, what the hell happened here?!" Naruto yelled, even in the dire heat of Hell he found the moisture needed for tears. "Come on old man, speak to me!"

"He's not going to answer you." The voice slithered into the room, it was deadly, and venomous, and beautiful. "Especially not after being struck down by something as powerful as a Holy Armament,"

Naruto reached forward to pull the arrow out.

"At! Don't touch, little fox, don't touch, mustn't touch." A pale hand snaked its way onto Naruto's shoulder, caressing him and pulling him into a deep embrace, though not a welcomed one. "You would be incinerated faster than paper if you laid your hand on such a thing."

"Orochimaru." Naruto said, fighting to be released. "What the hell is going on here?! Did you do this?"

"So informal, tut tut, no my dear boy this was not my design, though, _I _can touch the arrow," He demonstrated. "Low levels like you might be turned to ash, but it only sends a nerve jolting shock up my spine."

Naruto growled, but he controlled his more demonic side. "Answer me you prick!" He shouted.

"Hmph," Orochimaru pouted. "You're no fun, no wonder you were Foxy's little pup. There is a raid going on outside, humans experimenting with things they shouldn't you know how it is, they've got something, a vendetta, and I don't know what they want, but they're killing all of us to get it."

"A vendetta?" Naruto asked, his eyes were still wet with tears, and his teeth were sharply bared, the three whisker marks on his face were thickening, and his hands were slowly becoming paws. He'd forfeited humanity the moment his parents handed him over as a newborn.

"Probably one for power." The man said, not hiding his smile, he was a sick individual even by Hell's standards. "Power seems to be the driving force behind human existence."

"So they killed my master for power?" Naruto asked, his voice a mere whisper.

"Without a second thought." Orochimaru answered.

"Those bastards!" There it was, his true form, underneath all the niceties of flesh and bone was something much worse. Snapping jaws, and two tails, fur as orange as the fruit itself, and eyes darker than the night sky, Naruto could only see the outlines of the world around him because of his anger.

"Marvelous, go into the city would you, I'm sure there may still be a few around, they've somehow acquired the benefit of angels, and it would be too messy for myself or Kabuto to do it, we do have to keep order in this hectic place, I would ask Kyuubi but—" Orochimaru didn't plan on finishing the sentence as Naruto left the room like a whirlwind, behind him all one could hear would be the angry growl of a large, hurt animal.

Bursting into Metropolis, Hell's largest capital city, he saw them, they were all crowed around a young boy, one who's demon form hadn't even settled yet, the poor boy was transforming between every known species before settling back into his own flesh and blood.

"Please, leave me be!" He cried, he was barely a toddler in their terminology, not even old enough to posses anyone yet, but to use he was ancient.

"Scum." One of the cloaked 'angels' said, they all reared back their weapons, two swords, a bow, a lance, and a scimitar. "I would banish you to Hell if we weren't already here, so instead go to nothingness, where you really belong."

"Oi! Bastards!" Naruto bellowed, he was trotting forward with all his might, back legs kicking hard and front legs maneuvering him around the debris these five had caused.

"Oh? We've missed one?" One of the others said, the one holding the curved blade.

"We've missed several," the lance holder corrected. "But we've killed more."

"A puppy," The one holding the bow said, locking an arrow on Naruto. "how cute."

"Puppy this!" Naruto's mandible's clacked together audibly before he expelled a gigantic gust of wind from his lungs, hurtling six beings across the greater expanse of Metropolis. He wasn't done, in a flash he was wrapping his arms around the smaller boy as he flew backward, saving him from impact. "Get out of here, kid. I can handle this." He growled, the boy's face was snotty, his eyes were red, and tears were streaking down his face. "What's your name?" Naruto couldn't help but ask.

"Konohamaru." He answered.

"Go back home Konohamaru, leave these bastards to me." The younger boy nodded and was running off as quickly as his little legs would carry.

"Good effort," One of the figures from earlier said, and if he wasn't wearing a stupid mask Naruto might have seen his smirk. "but not good enough, now why don't you just lay down and die so this doesn't have to last longer than it need to?"

"Fuck off." Naruto growled, bounding towards him again.

"Alright, then banishment it is," The man answered back, arming his bow.

"Wait," The person beside him, presumably female from the shape, or a young boy, said. "Let's try _it _out."

"I don't think we should waste that on him." The archer replied.

"Why not? You wouldn't waste it on anyone else." The woman said, but their voices were so indistinguishable Naruto had to follow by their body movements.

"Yeah, To—"

"No names." The man said cutting off one of the sword wielders. "Well then, since we're all so decided on using _it _I don't suppose I have a say in the matter." He reached into his cloak and pulled out a long silver gun, one with intricate golden designs running along the double barrel, it was about half the size of a shotgun, and instead of a pump it had a trigger.

"Your bullets aren't going to do anything, jackass, I'm a demon." Naruto smiled.

The group chuckled, the archer shaking his head while his shoulders showed him laughing the hardest. "These aren't regular bullets, demon, if you haven't noticed none of our weapons are normal, they were all forged by the smiths of Heaven, each one infused with a different kind of angelic blessing, along with being some of the strongest metal available anywhere in the universe."

Naruto reared back on his haunches, tails twitching with the annoyance of being caught in a conversation and not ripping this man's throat out. "Well where the hell did you get that, you're humans?"

"We have ways of procuring things we need,"

"Fallen angels aren't too hard to come by either." The most vocal of the sword wielders said joyfully.

"Shut your mouth, you idiot." The woman said smacking him with the broad side of her lance.

""Well he's takin' too long, are you gonna shoot him or what?" The loud mouth asked.

"Fine." The archer said, and he pulled the trigger, then the sound of a thunderclap, mind searing pain, and the smoking barrel.

* * *

Only half a mile to go! Damn it this was such an exhausting jog, circumstances considered. Sasuke lived on his own now, in a less than small apartment in the middle of the city of Japan, luckily he'd missed the midday traffic for the most part so when he was crossing the street no crazies tried to hit him.

Then he uncharacteristically tripped, catching himself before he actually began to fall Sasuke swiveled around, something had been blocking his way. Upon closer inspection it was a body, wait…shit! It was a body! In the middle of the street!

For a moment he panicked, had there been a murder? Should he call the police? God, what if it was still alive? Shit! He should check the pulse!

"Ugh." It moaned. Alright, so it was still alive, that was good.

"Hey, are you alright? Do you need an ambulance?" Sasuke asked, calming down considerably.

"What the fuck is an ambulance?" It was also a boy, blue eyes poked open, and a tanned hand moved blond hair out of them. "Where am I?"

"You're in Japan, well, you're on the street right now, but this is Second street, do you live around here?"

"Not really," The boy answered. "I live faraway,"

"Like in another city over? I can get you a train ticket," Sasuke answered, strangely he could talk to hurt strangers just fine, of course it was his humanity, generally he wouldn't have cared, once this kid was out of his hair he'd go home and never think of this moment again.

"There are no trains that go where I live," The boy said, he sat up and Sasuke noted the horrible orange jumper he was wearing, it was signed, and what looked like two bullet holes were still smoking in the middle of his abdomen. "I'm going to be sick," the blond said, he leaned over and retched on the street, pure black contents.

"Maybe you should to the doctor." Sasuke said making a face at the sick on the ground. "I'll call you a cab,"

"A human doctor?" Those blue eyes became specks as the boy slowly realized exactly where he was, Sasuke didn't ask him why he smelled like smoke and brimstone, wait…is that what brimstone smelt like? It stunk! It was a putrid odor that would've gagged the brunet had he not turned away.

"Of course a human doctor," He said wondering if perhaps the blond had been hit over the head as well as mugged. "Those are some nasty injuries, can you remember your name?"

"I'm Naruto, Naruto Uzumaki, got it?" The boy tried to smile, but he gripped his stomach in pain, and threw up again."Look, I can't go to a doctor alright, I'm not—I don't have any insurance."

"What's wrong with you? Fine, you won't go to a doctor then," Sasuke said and turned on his heel. "Only a loser would turn down someone's help, dobe." And he began walking off.

"Hey! Hey wait! No, shit god this fucking hurts! Look I need your help, but I just—I don't like doctors okay? Don't go, help me out you bastard!"

"Oi! That's not how you get help, you idiot. Why should I do anything for your ass now?" But when he turned back around he saw that Naruto was in a cold sweat and had passed out again. A part of him told he should just leave the boy, he was probably a vagrant, or a gang banger, or both! But what would Sasuke's mother think if he left someone like that? Damn it, and it didn't help that the boy was kinda cute, but that was severely outweighed by his first impression, and by the black sick still clinging to the side of his mouth.

"Damn it, why me?" Sasuke asked grabbing the boy and throwing his arm around his shoulders, the blond was strangely light, underneath his orange jumper he was rather skinny, but his skin was incredibly warm to the touch, it may have been worrying if Sasuke was the kind of person who worried.

So he drug the blond the rest of the half mile back to his apartment, he actually ended up caring him bridal style to get up the stairs, and after fiddling with keys and throwing the door open he brought his burden inside.

He would call a doctor, get the boy sent off, and be through with him. That was the plan. Lying Naruto on the couch Sasuke's cell phone rang.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Hello little brother," Itachi answered on the other side.

"Hmph, what do you want?" At one point in time Sasuke admired unconditionally his brother, but the boy had always been his father's favorite, and had taken over for the man after he'd retired, not that Itachi did any actual labor, and it hadn't made it any easier to tell his father he wanted to be an artist with such a successful older sibling.

"It would appear that father has fallen ill, nothing to worry about, but any excuse is a good one to call my favorite little brother."

"I'm your only little brother," Sasuke answered. "I'm dealing with a sick kid here too, no not a friend of my, some kid I found on the side of the street." Itachi snickered on the other end of the phone.

"Picking up whomever catches our fancy now are we, brother?" He asked, and Sasuke could almost see Itachi's brown eyes glowing with smugness.

"He's hurt, you prick. I'm going to call a doctor or something." Sasuke replied.

"No need to get so snippy. By the way, Great Uncle Madara is in town, if you wanted to know, though I'm sure you don't care about that either, considering you left to go pursue other dreams and can't be bothered by family."

Sasuke hung up his phone, he didn't care for Itachi's tone, or anything else about him.

"Hey, duck butt, no doctors." Naruto said weakly from the couch.

"Excuse me?" Sasuke asked turning to look at the boy. "Duck butt?"

"The back of your hair looks like a duck's ass, all pointy and stuck up, plus I don't know your real name." Naruto smirked.

"Its Sasuke, you dobe loser, not duck butt, and if you're going to insult me in my own home then I'll just have to kick your ass out."

"Alright then, Sasuke, I won't call you duck butt," Naruto chuckled, then he groaned in pain.

"Fuck. If you won't let me call a doctor then at least tell me what the hell happened to you." Sasuke said moving over to the boy.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, kid." Naruto smiled.

"Kid? You little shit I'm older than you." Sasuke said resisting the urge to punch Naruto. "Take your jacket off, I want to at least assess how much blood is going to be on my couch."

Naruto was in no position to argue, so he took his orange jacket off, and a pang of sorrow rung through him, that Kyuubi bastard, what the fuck was he thinking getting killed so easily?

"Does that hurt?" Sasuke asked as he stripped the piece of clothing from him.

"Nah," Naruto said sourly.

"What happened to you?" Sasuke asked again, "lift your shirt,"

"I was attacked, they killed my…they killed the guy I was working for too, he was like a father to me." Naruto said glumly as he lifted his shirt, the two bullets that had been there weren't anymore, and in their place was a strange marking and two puncture wounds.

"Looks like they just grazed you, but you're throwing up too," Sasuke said, taking Naruto to be the kind of kid who might just have a tattoo. "Are you sick? I've got some medicine that should take care of it for a while." He thought about it, the boy said he'd been attacked, and that the attacker had killed his boss. "You don't work for the mob or anything do you?"

"Mob?" Naruto asked. "No I was a—uh—I helped out around his place, cleaning, running errands, whatever he needed done."

"So you're the help then?" Sasuke asked amused. "Well its good to hear you're not some crazy person, stay right there I'll bring you that medicine."

So Naruto waited, he looked around the loft and noticed how spectacularly clean it was, and how modern everything looked. A large television, glass tables, speaker systems, even a bookshelf filled with what the boy presumed was filled with novels.

"Here," Sasuke said coming back and handing him two pills, Naruto looked at them and then at Sasuke who had two in his other hand as well, he watched the brunet swallow them, and then he took his own and did the same.

"Why are you taking this?" Naruto asked, the pills had no taste, they were just substance, he was pretty sure they wouldn't do much good.

"I'm not feeling good either." Sasuke answered. "Now shut up and get some sleep, we'll figure something out in the morning." He smirked at Naruto, but then it dropped from his face. "Maybe I'll need some help around the house or something, I mean since your boss was—I'm sorry, alright, that that had to happen to you."

"It all happened so fast," The blond said. "I just stepped out and then I come back and he's dead, shot in the chest three times. I went after those bastards, but they shot me, and I woke up on the street."

"You can't get back home?" Sasuke asked. "No other family or anything?"

"I don't have any family." Naruto said bitterly. "And it'll be hard to get back to Hell." He clapped a hand over his mouth and his eyes got wide at the mention of his real home. Kyuubi had always told him never to reveal his real nature to humans, they just can't handle that kind of shock.

"Oh," He said seeing Naruto in a different light. "Well that's too bad, here I was thinking you were some punk druggie or something, well I'm off tomorrow, I don't know what we can do, but I'll take you around to look for something."

"Can't I just stay here for a while?" Naruto asked, smiling. It was a stupid smile, dopey and entirely too big, and too bright. Sasuke didn't want to like it, but it made his mouth twitch into a smile as well.

"Dobe. You don't know me, what if I'm like a murderer or something?" Sasuke asked.

"I'm pretty sure I could take you." Naruto said still smiling.

"Cocky little bastard." Sasuke said. "I'll think about it alright? I do hate housework, and you're in need, but don't think this means we'll be friends of any kind, you'll work for me."

"Wouldn't dream of being friends with a teme anyway." Naruto said closing his eyes and yawning. "Too much trouble."

"Get some sleep, kid, I bet you could use it." Sasuke said while standing, he looked at Naruto one last time before heading back into his room. Of course it never occurred to him what Naruto might be, and Naruto didn't plan on telling him, Sasuke seemed like the kind of person who might be upset at being duped, but if he wanted him to keep his sanity he would have to lie.

"Night, Sasuke." Naruto said still wearing his smile, but when the young man was in his room again it dropped off his face. Naruto felt prickly tears in the back of his eyes and he didn't try to stop them as they ran over his whisker marks, Kyuubi himself had branded him with them and Naruto wore them proudly to let other's know to whom he belonged.

Kyuubi wasn't just like a father to him, he'd become his father, Naruto had followed that damn fox to the ends of the earth when he was asked to, and in truth he loved the man like his father and he'd just lost him.

In the other room Sasuke could hear Naruto's sobs, but he'd spent up the bit of social knowledge he knew in the past half hour trying to get the blond to talk. So he let the boy cry, maybe if he got to know him better he could go console him, but now it would be awkward, just like the thought of keeping him around, someone he had just picked up off the street.

DAMN IT! He'd told that little tidbit of information to Itachi! He had been so caught up in getting off the phone that he didn't think to censor himself, now the whole family knew. But maybe it was selfish for him to be thinking of himself right now.

Sasuke settled deeper into his bed, and the more he listened to Naruto cry the emptier it became, he closed his eyes and fell asleep wondering about the next day.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Well I don't have a lot to say, I really hope you liked it, and that if you did you'll review, they make the world go round. Anyway, drop me a line or something.

--Hitome-Chan


	2. Chapter 2

**Teme No Baka**

**Summary: **Naruto Uzumaki didn't NEED Sasuke, or his money, or his family, he'd been fine before living dirt poor, without anything, on the streets, without Sasuke to warm his bed, or to warm his heart. He'd be fine without him, he could always go back to being what he was. Right? Wrong.

**Author's Notes: **Alright, I want it known that my last chapter was written at about three in the morning, so my blunders are the fault of my lack of sleep, the redundancies and errors, ugh, my bad. I might need a beta soon, I've been putting it off, but my own editing skill seems to be lacking.

**Chapter Two **

_SKRITCH SKRITCH SKRITCH. _Naruto's eyes twitched open. What the hell was that sound? He sat up and took a deep breath, what was that kid's name again? Sasuke or something, whoever he was he smelled good, his whole home did, he smelt like summertime, or something Naruto was far from a poet.

_SKRITCH_. There it was again, the blond stood and stretched his muscles, he looked under his shirt and sure enough he was completely healed, like he knew he'd be, but what was that damn mark? He walked down the hall he'd seen Sasuke take and poked his head into a room. Nope. The kid wasn't in here, it must've been his bedroom though because of the unmade bed which was still warm to the touch.

He waltzed out of that room and went into another, by passing a bathroom on his way. Sure enough there sat the same kid who had rescued him from who knows what? He smiled as he watched Sasuke's pencil fly across paper, so that's where that sound had been coming from, damn his strong ears.

"Good morning," Naruto smiled from the door frame.

"More like afternoon." Sasuke sniffled. "You slept through morning, what kind of weird ass butler sleeps through morning?"

"I'm not a butler, alright, I'm an assistant, and I need my beauty sleep." Naruto walked into Sasuke's study looking at all of his art work hanging from the walls and pined to corkboard. There were conceptual drawing, self portraits, regular portraits, paintings, etchings, even some print work. "What the hell do you do?" Naruto asked looking over his newest acquaintance's shoulder.

"I'm a graphic designer," Sasuke supplied finishing up his final draft for the insurance ad.

"I'll just pretend like I know what that is," Naruto laughed and grabbed the papers from Sasuke's desk. "You're not half bad," He said going through them, all different ideas on saving insurance, whatever the hell that was, till he got to one that wasn't an ad doodle. "You drew me?"

It couldn't have been a drawing, maybe a quickly developed photograph that had been edited in pencil and shaded with pen, there was absolutely no way this was a drawing.

"What of it? I draw interesting things," Sasuke said ripping his papers out of Naruto's hand and placing them in his work portfolio. Naruto smiled and Sasuke noticed his pronounced canines.

"So you think I'm interesting?" He asked, an eyebrow shooting up.

"Don't—don't flatter yourself," Sasuke said quickly, turning a slight shade redder. The raven sneezed and hacked a cough as he stood up. "Damn it," He tried, but he sneezed again. "What are you smirking at?" He asked Naruto.

"I just didn't know how under the weather you were." He snickered.

"Aren't you supposed to be sick to, throwing up all that black gunk last night?"

"Oh yeah, that's normal for demo—that's normal for my people when we get a little sick, but I'm better now." The blond assured.

"Wonderful, guess that means I can kick your ass out now then?" Sasuke asked smirking.

"What?! Sasuke you bastard I thought you said I could stay here!" Naruto protested.

"Calm down, dobe, it was a joke," Sasuke realized he never had much of a sense of humor. "Come on into the kitchen I'll whip us up something to eat."

Naruto noticed that Sasuke was only in his boxer, for a human he had a decent body, if not a bit too pale, small coiled muscles in all the right places, and the tight black briefs left much to be desired. The blond's eyebrow rose as he watched the man exit the room, only to poke his head back in.

"You coming?" Sasuke asked, oblivious to having just been sized up.

"Right behind you." Naruto smiled, unlike Sasuke Naruto could care less if Sasuke was into men or not, that's not how things worked in Hell, either you were attracted to someone or you weren't simple as that.

"So what do you normally eat for breakfast?" Sasuke asked.

"Meat, duh." Naruto said without thinking, though he would have probably said it anyway had he been thinking, not knowing the difference between the two cuisines of human and demon. "Preferably raw."

"You better be glad I got your ass off that street, your body can't handle that, er—what's your name. I feel stupid not knowing it."

"Naruto Uzumaki." The boy smiled. "Remember it." When he said it something stirred in Hell, but Naruto didn't feel it, he wasn't feeling much of anything but tired, his muscles ached all over, and he was unbelievably parched.

"Well I'll just make some bacon and eggs, Naruto." Sasuke said. "Or maybe you'd like to go out to eat?"

"Out is fine," Naruto said grimacing at the sound of whatever "bake on" and eggs were, he'd had eggs before, not the kind Sasuke was talking about, but he'd had them, and they were not good, especially since the babe inside had been almost formed. Yuck.

"Alright, I'll grab a shower, you should too, and then we'll and go," Sasuke went into his room, Naruto in tow, and threw a towel at the boy. "You first, then I'll take mine."

"A shower?" Naruto asked dumbly.

"Oh come on, don't play that game." Sasuke said unamused.

"What are we going to get showered with? Is someone planning to attack?" He looked around nervously.

"No you idiot a shower is cleaning yourself off, bathing. You know?"

Not really. Naruto had never bathed before, its not like he sweated, well in extreme cases of cold he sweated, but otherwise his body had no use for it. If he ever became grimy he'd simply will away the dirt and it would fall off of his body, the concept of shower was strange, unless Sasuke meant someone raining down blasts of energy on them.

"Oh my God," Sasuke said grabbing the bridge of his nose. Naruto's eyes got wide with concern and he tackled Sasuke to the ground covering his mouth with his hand.

"Don't say that name!" Naruto whispered looking around. "You trying to get us killed?" he lifted his hand from Sasuke's mouth.

"What the hell are you doing? Say what name?"

"G-O-D." Naruto spelled out still whipping his head about nervously.

"So I shouldn't say Go—" Then there was that hand again.

"Come on, let's just go get showered alright, I'll do whatever you want if you promise not to ever say that when I'm around." The name itself hurt his ears, but when he spoke it the Man's eyes could find him easily enough, it wasn't like he was sinning, or that he ever sinned really, but he was sin itself and that made him nervous whenever He looked at him.

"Wait…let's? As in together?" Sasuke asked.

"Well yeah, if someone is going to shower us I need to protect you." Naruto said honestly. "I mean you're taking me into your home it's the least I can do, believe it."

Sasuke's heart skipped a beat. Was this kid offering to shower with him? Wasn't that like dating-for-a-few-years-conserve-water-together-kind-of-fast? But he was offering and Lord knows the last time Sasuke got laid.

"How old are you?" Naruto asked while trying to figure out what the towel was for, turning it every which way before giving up.

"Nineteen. You?" Sasuke asked, this was probably a good thing to know, especially if this was going where he thought it might be going.

"About three thousand," Naruto said nonchalantly wrapping the towel around his arm. "Wait…" He looked up to see Sasuke smiling a bit. "What?"

"No seriously," Sasuke said laughing to himself. "Seventeen, eighteen, please be eighteen at least."

"Oh, well, I'm actually twenty…" Naruto replied confused, if Sasuke was nineteen then he'd be the older one!

"Hm, you look a lot younger than that, you got an ID?" When Naruto shook his head he sighed. "I really hope you're that age, cause I don't need the police knocking down my door." But Naruto continued to look confused and Sasuke smiled again.

Following Sasuke to the bathroom he watched as he turned the water on, after the initial shock of seeing the liquid coming through the faucet, feeling it to make sure it wasn't Holy Water, and then watching Sasuke peel his shorts off Naruto took his own clothes off with reckless abandon and stepped into the shower with Sasuke.

"So you're trying to tell me you've never had a shower before?" Sasuke asked looking down on the shorter boy.

"Not like this," Naruto said the water felt good against his skin and every few seconds he and Sasuke would touch, the raven was a mite bit colder than what he liked, but he was quite handsome, and that's all that mattered. Finally he pressed himself against Sasuke running both hands down his arms.

"Maybe you should start taking your showers like this then," Sasuke said smiling, he leaned down and kissed Naruto on the lips, he noticed how warm the boy was and wondered if it was fever or if he was just naturally this temperature. Naruto kissed him back, smiling into it and ground his wet, naked form against Sasuke's, he felt Sasuke becoming more and more engorged with lust and pulled back.

"There's something you should know about me." Naruto said meeting Sasuke's eyes.

"Oh God you have a sexually transmitted disease?" Sasuke asked, getting hit in the arm.

"Don't say that name, and no." Naruto's face took on a stony quality. "I'm a demon." He said with all honesty.

"Oh," Sasuke said sighing with relief. "No STDs then?" He asked happily, Naruto shook his head no, though he didn't know what they were he knew he didn't have any, diseases were a human thing. "Good."

Sasuke was taking the whole "demon" news surprisingly well, he and Naruto were locked in a tight embrace till the water ran cold, but Sasuke didn't notice with how hot it was inside of Naruto, and how warm the boy was himself. When they both climaxed Sasuke washed them off quickly and turned the shower off.

Stepping out of the tub refreshed in more than one way Sasuke smirked at Naruto. "You really are a demon." He said all too happily.

"What? Are my whiskers showing?" Naruto asked looking down at his face, this was the most confusing morning ever.

"And you're pretty funny, for a dobe." Sasuke laughed wrapping his towel around his waist, Naruto followed behind, doing the same and opting not to say anything else; it just didn't end up how he expected it. What had he been expecting when he told Sasuke he was a demon? Maybe he just felt the boy should know what he was getting into sleeping with him so quickly, it had been a good lay, or maybe he just felt obligated to inform if he was going to let him stay in his home. Either way he hoped to be able to do it again.

"We'll have to get you some clothes," Sasuke said. He was physically attracted to Naruto that was for sure, and he was a soul in need, Sasuke was going to chalk this up to his charity for the year. Helping this guy get back on his feet, and maybe practicing his own skills in the sack (well shower apparently) as well.

"That ain't necessary," Naruto said as he tried to pull back on his orange jumpsuit, but Sasuke stopped him. "this thing works just fine for me." He said yanking the material back from the raven.

"I don't think so." Sasuke said. "If you're going to be my assistant you'll need more than one set of clothes."

The blond sighed, and then smirked. "So Sasuke, do you have like a girlfriend or a boyfriend or something?" Naruto asked, changing the subject, there was no way he was getting Naruto into anything besides his most favorite of clothing items.

"It would be boyfriend," Sasuke said, and walked past Naruto and pulled two pairs of briefs out of his drawer, he threw one to Naruto. "And no. I don't."

Naruto looked at the triangular shaped white cloth, it had an elastic waistband, and what he presumed were leg holes, he watched Sasuke pull them up over his ivory legs and noticed the little bit of clothing was actually very attractive, or at least his groin thought so anyway.

"A nice guy like you, handsome, a good fuck, I don't know why not." Naruto slipped the briefs on before his erection became too noticeable, but sadly it made quite the impressionable bulge in the fabric, and it felt wonderful. Sasuke's eyebrow rose at seeing Naruto aroused and he smiled.

"Yeah, well I'm not usually a 'nice guy' guess last night was just a one in a million thing." He stood and looked down on Naruto, pulling their groins together. "But look what came out of it."

Naruto grinned deviously, but it fell from his face when he heard Sasuke's stomach growl. "Come on you horny bastard, let's go get some food already." Naruto wasn't sure what he would eat on Earth, usually he had the entrails of hellhounds, maybe some bones for texture, or whatever the Kyuubi didn't want.

Sasuke smirked. "Alright." He said pulling on a pair of pants and handing Naruto some shorts he was sure might fit. Naruto looked at the clothing and finally sighed a resigned puff of air before he pulled them on, Sasuke smirked at how Naruto's hip bones stopped the shorts from falling too low, they didn't fit well, but they'd do.

After hygiene was taken care of, deodorant, teeth brushing (thankfully Sasuke had a spare) and things of the like Sasuke finally tossed Naruto a shirt, the blond pulled it on, and then his jumpsuit jacket, he would wear at least something he owned today.

They walked outside to Sasuke's car, it was becoming increasingly evident that Naruto didn't know how to operate a lot of things, especially when he tried to jump into the car through the window. The rolled up window that is.

"You never got out a lot did you?" Sasuke wondered aloud.

"Not really, Kyuubi kept me inside since I was a kid, unless it was to run to the store in the city, but that was pretty close."

"Where are you from?" Sasuke asked opening Naruto's car door.

"Somewhere far away," Naruto smiled. "Somewhere far, far away."

"What direction from here at least?" Was Sasuke's next question.

"Directly south," Naruto replied, laughing. Sasuke didn't see what was so funny about it, the boy was being secretive all of a sudden, but he had lost his home, the closest thing to a family member he'd known, and been shot in the past twenty four hours, so he supposed he'd let him be secretive.

He took the driver's seat and they pulled off, heading into town.

"So then where are we going?" Naruto asked, the human towns were so much brighter than the one's he'd known, everyone walked by one another and there was no growl of superiority for looking one in the face, no one was bearing fangs, there weren't any horrid creatures running around snatching children or whatever else they could get their hands on.

He took it all in, speechless at the beautiful simplicity that was Tokyo, but that was saying a lot, Tokyo being simple. Sasuke stopped at a place that was being flooded by people, then he turned the car off and undid his safety harness thing Naruto wasn't exactly sure about, but he undid his own as well.

They walked inside, and after a good fifteen minute wait, with Naruto not being able to sit still, they were finally seated.

Sasuke wasn't surprised Naruto didn't know how to order, he was becoming less and less surprised at the boy by the moment, things he'd taken for granted were lost on the blond, like simply choosing something to eat off a menu. So he ordered the simplest thing possible for the boy: ramen.

Sasuke opened his mouth to say something when something touched his shoulder. "It would seem Sasuke has gotten over his sickness at record pace, yosh!" Damn it, not—

"Lee, he seems to be on a date, perhaps we shouldn't disturb him." That far away expression had not left the red head's face, and it probably never would.

"I am sure it is fine!" Lee smiled brightly. "Sasuke! Do you mind if we take seats here?" but he was already seating himself and he nodded to Gaara to do the same.

"Lee, Gaara, this is Naruto, Naruto these are some of my work associates, Rock Lee and Gaara Shukaku."

"It is so nice to meet you Naruto-kun!" Lee smiled, Gaara only stared at him, seeing something within Naruto the others didn't. Naruto stared back at Gaara as well and the two of them didn't speak another word as Lee made all the conversation between himself and Sasuke about work.

"I shall return, please excuse me." Gaara said to everyone at the table before standing up, his eyes not leaving Naruto, but no one else seemed to notice, except of course the blond.

"Sasuke I've got to take a piss, where's the place I do that?"

The aforementioned made a face at Naruto before pointing in the direction Gaara was going. "Just follow him, I'm sure that's where he's going too, but he's got the decency not to be vulgar."

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto smiled standing up and following behind Gaara to the bathroom. He walked into the rest area, not caring how nice and porcelain everything looked instead his ice blue eyes met topaz.

"What brings you to this plane?" Gaara asked, his arms folded.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Naruto said glaring at the red head. "Gaara of the Sand, one of the most fearsome demons in Hell, eating in a five star restroom."

"It's a restaurant," Gaara said flatly. "A place humans gather to eat food that gets prepared for them." They stared each other down for a moment or two more before deciding there was no immediate danger from the other. "Now what the hell are you doing here, Uzumaki?"

"Don't know, I got blasted by some weird weapon when humans invaded Hell, then I woke up on the street and Sasuke found me and took me in. What the hell are _you _doing here? You've been gone so long we thought you'd been killed off."

"I needed to get away from it all," Gaara said. "So I left. That's all there is to tell."

"But this human—"

"I've shown Lee my true form," Gaara said, his stoicism far exceeding demonic expectation. "That young man is strange, and crazy, and enthusiastic, and I have fallen in love with him. So I have made him my mate."

"You don't have to be so nonchalant about it." Naruto laughed. "Well how did you do it? I mean, Sasuke is asking so many questions, I don't know how to answer them. I told him I was a demon but he thought I meant a…"

"A what?" Gaara asked.

"A _sex _demon. It's insulting right?"

"That would entirely depend on the situation, Uzumaki, where you in the process of having sex with him?" When Naruto blushed he knew the answer before he said it out loud. "I could possibly see how he misconstrued your words."

"Yeah," The blond laughed.

"But might I suggest you tell him the truth soon, these humans don't take too kindly to finding things out the hard way."

"Will do, no brow, oh," Naruto had almost forgotten, he lifted his shirt. "Do you know what the hell this thing is? When they shot me with that weapon it just appeared."

Gaara's eyes widened at the sight Naruto's new markings. "That's a seal." He said, his voice made of steel, but there was definite unrest behind him.

"A seal?" Naruto asked, looking down.

"You dunderhead, a seal is something that keeps something blocked away. In this case I would think it was your demon power."

"My power?"

"Have you tried using them while you've been here?"

"No…I've only been stranded here for a day, and Sasuke was around the whole time, Gaara, they tried to kill everyone, they got Kyuubi…"

Gaara let Naruto take a moment to recover, he wasn't completely comfortable with seeing the boy express emotion so freely, he had trouble doing that, not around Lee mind you, but it was difficult unmasking himself in front of others, especially someone of his kind.

"Sorry," The blond said gathering himself, he daubed his eyes with tissue provided in the restroom and continued. "I don't know how or why they attacked Hell, but Orochimaru didn't seem hurt, and I'm sure that it would take more than just those Holy Armaments to kill our people, right?"

"Naruto," The red head sighed, he wasn't going to tell his counterpart that he didn't care one way or another what happened in Hell, he'd taken on a human life, or well, he was trying to. "We should be getting back."

"Right," Naruto wiped at his nose and threw away the tissue before he pulled on his best smile. They exited the bathroom, Gaara looking rather apathetic as usual, and Naruto smiling like the dolt that he was.

"Took you long enough," Sasuke said, his eyebrow rising accusingly.

"Yeah, well I noticed that Gaara is an old friend from back home." Naruto told him truthfully. "Never really talked to him then, but its good seeing someone from your past."

"So was Naruto in the mob?" Sasuke asked turning to Gaara.

"I was not in any goddamned mob, you bastard!"

"No, Uchiha, he was not. But his boss was quite the wealthy man, shame to hear he was killed." Gaara supplied, he wouldn't out the boy, not if he didn't want to be outed at least.

"Yeah, well Naruto makes it sounds like he comes from Hell on Earth." Sasuke smirked.

"Not on Earth no," Gaara said, but as soon as he did the food arrived and there was no distracting Naruto from the new scents all around him. You would have thought maybe they would have cooked their meat in Hell, or even toasted it a bit, but everyday down there was a struggle, well, for the less well off anyway, like Naruto who's greedy Master only gave him scraps…bastard, and it would have been hard to come by an actual fire anyway, the "fires" of hell were more like pools of lava, and lava does not equate well when trying to cook.

So the blond took his first bite of ramen, full of vegetables and beef, and he fell in love perhaps for the first time.

While everyone else ate their meal quietly, trying to make conversation when his loud slurping warranted Naruto was busy working on his fifth bowl of the stuff, he just could not get enough.

"Where the hell is it going?" Sasuke asked watching him eat.

"Our people have a high metabolism." Gaara supplied.

"You two and this 'our people' stuff, you sound like aliens." He laughed. "Naruto won't tell me where he's from, but since you're from the same hometown mind giving me any hints, Gaara?"

"Well, it is not my place to divulge information Naruto has expressly forbidden you to know." The red head answered simply.

"Damn, Lee do you always have this much trouble getting answers out of Gaara?" Sasuke asked, only slightly perturbed by the sounds of the black hole beside him.

"Oh no, Sasuke! Gaara tells me everything! Why if I were not sworn to secrecy I would tell you in a heartbeat, and it is so good to see someone Gaara knows intimately, Naruto-kun, you are a friend to me!"

The statement made Naruto choke on his mouthful of unchewed noodles. _Known intimately_? Far from it, Gaara didn't _know _people at all, let alone closely, but saying intimate almost made it sound like they'd…well…

"Listen here Bushy Brow," Naruto said commenting on Lee's unnecessarily thick eyebrows. "Me and Gaara ain't never been together like that so—"

"Do you have the perverted mind of a child?" Gaara asked. "It cannot be helped, you are a product of your environment."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Naruto asked, forgetting where he was, he tried to extend his claws but nothing happened. '_What the hell_?' He asked himself, he tried again with the same results, then he tried his tail, his teeth, he tried to go full demon and nothing.

_The seal. _

The blond settled considerably and waited for Sasuke to excuse himself from the table before he turned to Gaara.

"You said Lee knows about you?" Naruto asked, looking around to make sure Sasuke wasn't coming back anytime soon. Gaara nodded and Lee took the red head's hand. "Alright, well this seal, I—I can't…"

"You can't shift forms,"

"No, I was going to—well I don't know what I was going to do, guess instinct took over when you were making fun of me, but nothing happened. Absolutely nothing."

"That can only be expected with a seal. These humans who attacked, what did they look like?"

"They were wearing masks," Naruto told him. "I couldn't see their faces, but they were strong, and they were fast, faster than humans should be."

"I will look into matters, but Naruto, you should tell Sasuke the truth."

"The truth about what?" Sasuke asked seating himself. Naruto nearly jumped out of his skin at the young man's sudden appearance he stared at him with big eyes, and then looked at Gaara and Lee.

"It's nothing…" Naruto said not looking away from their company.

"Naruto…as your new boss I order you to tell me."

"Sasuke, you just met me, I don't want to make a bad impression—"

"I fucked you in the shower this morning Uzumaki, we're way past impressions, now spill."

"I already tried telling you."

"Well tell me again, dobe." Damn that nickname was starting to stick, and Naruto didn't like it one bit.

"Ugh, if you're going to be a bastard about it then maybe I won't," But Sasuke's eyes said otherwise. "Fine." Naruto huffed. "You remember I told you I was a demon?" Sasuke opened his mouth but Naruto continued. "I wasn't talking about one of _those _kinds of demons, I'm an actual demon. Hellspawn. Unholy creature of the night!"

"That last one is a vampire." Gaara smirked.

"Naruto what the hell are you saying?" Sasuke asked. "You want me to believe you're a—a…"

There was a loud shriek in the bar, followed by several more, then the sound of tables being thrown about. Naruto and Gaara smelt it, brimstone and sulfur, damn it. Humans began flooding out of the restaurant at all the emergency exits but the two nonhumans stood up, waiting for whatever it was to round the corner.

What they saw looked very much like a bull, but its horns were snakes, and its eyes were blood red. Another thing that set it apart from your typical bull was that it was a couple of feet taller than any man, and it snorted fire from its nostrils.

"What the fuck is that thing?!" Sasuke asked staring at it.

"A Zebu, a demon from the Savannahs of Obscure, it's a dweller that isn't normally found outside of Hell, they hate the cold up here." Gaara supplied, and before Sasuke could ask why Gaara knew that the thing charged.

Naruto threw the humans out of the way while Gaara erupted into his other form. He stood there, a sand colored beast with a large bulk and dark black eyes. He was smirking, something sinister, a bloodlust that he tried to forget now very evident in his eyes.

"What brings you to the surface?" His other form asked the demon, but it only snorted and flames shot out of its nose. "Fine, see if I care." When Gaara attacked it was sounded like someone's skull being bashed against a brick wall, just one hollow _thunk _after another. The bovine demon howled angrily charging him again, Sasuke's eyes were wide watching the whole thing.

"Please don't watch," Naruto said, stepping into his line of sight, he knew of Gaara's legendary killing sprees, seen whole bodies turned inside out and left to fester in the hot sun, and now the sounds coming from the intruding creature were enough to make anyone cringe with disgust.

The blond turned just in time to see Gaara ripping its head off. The red head was covered in its green blood, he was breathing heavily, licking his lips clean of the green substance Gaara looked around, eyes still alive with lust for battle.

He was silent as he stalked forward, Naruto tensed, his powers didn't work, he'd put Sasuke in danger by exposing him to this, how Gaara had disassociated himself with Hell for so long he'd never know, even Naruto's name was tied in with that place, he would just go back if there were anything to go back to.

"Gaara…" Naruto said, staring as Gaara shifted back to his more human form, but his eyes remained completely black.

"Do you not see?" Gaara asked taking his sweet time while he walked. "This is why I left, the bloodshed, the adrenaline, when I kill I cannot help myself, I couldn't shoulder the burden of having my enemies blood on my hands when they could not defend themselves fast enough."

He stepped forward one more time, but when he stopped he was an inch away from Naruto, hand wrapped around the boy's windpipe. "So you see I left."

And in some feat of incredible self control his eyes became the same blue as before, all murderous intent left his body and instead he stood there, almost innocent.

"Gaara! That was magnificent! Such a display of your eternal youth!" Lee said jumping up and hugging him, before he kissed his cheek and blushed.

"Fool," Gaara said with a hint of a smile before he pulled him down for a kiss, and Lee didn't seem to mind the demon's blood in the least, though Gaara tried his damnedest to make sure none got inside of the boy, demon's blood wasn't good for humans that wanted to stay…well..human.

"You're really a—" But Sasuke's mind wouldn't let him finish the sentence, the next thing he knew the ground was a lot closer than it had been.

"Oh Sasuke-kun," Lee laughed. "the same thing happened to me the first time." But the raven haired man couldn't hear him, he was far too unconscious for that. Naruto sighed, oh well, there went his chance at housing and care, and even the occasionally divulgence of flesh. It'd been nice while it lasted. When Sasuke woke up he knew the first thing the man would probably do was send him packing.

"Well," Naruto said grabbing the fallen one's feet. "Lee you wanna help me get this big lug back to his place? I'm not sure where it's located, but I can at least drop him off there before he wakes up and kicks my ass to the curb."

**Author's Notes: **Well there we are! Another chapter, would anyone be disappointed in knowing that I have no idea where this story is going? Yup, just like ALL my other stories. Lol Well if you're liking it so far review and tell me what you think! Maybe a plot will develop somewhere along the way.

--Hitome-Chan


	3. Chapter 3

**Teme No Baka**

**Summary: **Naruto Uzumaki didn't NEED Sasuke, or his money, or his family but without him he'd be on the streets, without Sasuke he'd be on the run from demon-hunting "angels" and probably a bit lonely. Luckily he's got Sasuke. SasuNaru AU

**Author's Notes: **I'm pretty happy with the reception of this story, I mean review to views ratio it doesn't balance out, but I'm not going to be that kind of author. I'm enjoying writing this, if you like it review please. Without further adieu here it is:

* * *

**Chapter Three**

The light pervaded his eyes hard, upon opening them there was a stabbing pain at the back of his head, an explosion of receptors reacting to the sudden flood fluorescence. Sasuke groaned into the air, he was parched, and he could still taste his meal but it was like it had soured on his tongue.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun is awake." Lee said, somewhat softly, and the raven was thankful for that much. "Good evening Sasuke."

"It is morning now, Lee." Gaara said standing beside his mate, rather comfortable to just lean against him. "An early morning, but morning nonetheless."

"What time is it?" Sasuke asked, he was on the couch of his home. How had he gotten back?

"Four ante meridiem." Gaara supplied.

"Four in the morning." Lee corrected. "I realize that it is your exuberant spirit Gaara, my love, and I will let you say it however you want to, but we still refer to it as a.m., good try though!" Gaara nodded, his eyes looked as if they were absorbing everything Lee said. "See Sasuke-kun! You will have to help Naruto to learn our customs to get adjusted to life on this plane! With patience, caring, and the burn of youth you can teach him anything!"

Naruto.

"So then he's really a demon?" Sasuke asked. "You as well, Gaara?" The redhead nodded. Sasuke sighed. "It should surprise me more," He smiled bitterly. "Just my luck, I fucked a demon."

"Sasuke-kun! There is nothing wrong with making love to a partner from the depths of this world, they are just as loving as we are, and they are still living beings!" Lee protested.

"God," He noticed how Gaara's eye twinged a bit at the name, had it always done that? "I'm such an idiot. You know I just learned his name this morning? Not an hour later I'm pounding him in the tub. Damn it!" He ran a hand through his hair, but he didn't look too upset, more like shocked. "Where is the kid—well, maybe he's not a kid. Where is he?"

"Sleeping in your bed." Gaara told him. "He was worried about you so Lee put him to sleep and told him you'd be awake soon."

"I heard Sasuke's voice…" Naruto walked out of the room rubbing his eyes. Damn it he looked adorable, he was still wearing Sasuke's shirt and it was falling off of his shoulders, somewhere along the way he'd lost the shorts. His eyes widened at seeing Sasuke awake and he knelt down on the couch. "Are you alright?" He asked hugging him.

Sasuke looked up at Lee and Gaara, Lee mimicked reciprocating the hug and Sasuke did so albeit hesitantly. "Yeah, yeah I'm alright Naruto." He said, and suddenly having slept with Naruto seemed like a good thing.

"Well, since you two are both alright we will be taking our leave," Gaara said tugging Lee's arm and they exited the apartment quietly hand in hand.

"Sasuke, look. I'm sorry, alright, I should have tried harder to convince you that I'm a—" He hesitated. "That I am what I am. Damn it, I'll get my stuff and be out of your hair, okay?" Naruto stood up and began walking away to get his clothing.

"Hey, idiot," Sasuke said closing his eyes on the couch. "I hope you don't think you can just up and leave, oral contracts are binding in this city and you agreed to be my assistant. Now shut the hell up and assist me a glass of water."

Naruto spun around, that stupid grin that Sasuke admittedly liked on his face. "Really?" He asked.

"Yes, I would really like a glass of water." Sasuke sighed. "And yes, you can still stay here. I promised you that didn't I? An Uchiha never goes back on a promise."

Naruto nodded happily leaping onto Sasuke and hugging him tightly. "You bastard you had me going there!"

"Get offa me damn it! I just suffered a demon attack."

"You crybaby, you weren't attacked by a demon Gaara and I were." Naruto sat up on Sasuke's abdomen, planting his legs on either side of the boy underneath him, and the raven didn't point out that he could see right into the shirt Naruto was wearing, but he figured he didn't have to, the blond would notice sooner or later.

"Alright, be that as it may I witnessed a demon attack today. Surely that entitles me to some kind of special treatment." Sasuke felt like maybe he should have been freaking out, and that maybe instead of ogling Naruto he should have been trying to exorcise the hell out of him, maybe get an old priest and a young priest, but he didn't want that.

He'd always had weird luck, there had been several times where he'd almost died and should have but he didn't, times like when he was younger and fell out of a fifteen foot tall tree and only had a few cuts and bruises when he hit the ground, his mother called it the grace of God, his father said he'd been an idiot for climbing so high, and that it was too damn bad he didn't break something so h would've learned his lesson.

Regardless, things like that, and much stranger, always seemed to happen to him. Now he was talking to a demon, had slept with him too, what next? Meet up with a friendly ghost? Get visited by a time-travelling world saving robot?

"Look bub, I can feel your 'special treatment' digging me in the back. Its late and I'm tired," Naruto smirked down at him toothily. "I'll be in your bed if you're going back to sleep tonight." Naruto stood up and stretched, and Sasuke admired those long tanned legs complimented by his choice of underwear and to see Naruto's bellybutton peeking out from the raised shirt.

"You know I always heard your kind was tempting, but never teasing."

"What can I say?" The fox asked. "I guess its cause I wasn't born a demon." He grinned harder before walking into Sasuke's bedroom. The other young man on the couch rolled off of it and walked into his kitchen. Damn 'assistants' what good was he if he didn't even do what he was told?

Sasuke smiled as he poured himself a glass of water, but when he looked outside he noticed something strange and he dropped the glass immediately, rushing to get Naruto.

* * *

"You." Gaara snarled. This snake in the grass was the last person he'd wanted to see in a century, let alone now. "Just what the hell is this? Is everyone taking a vacation to the human realm?"

The laugh was haughty as it was fluid, golden eyes stared back at him and Lee and a forked tongue slithered across perfectly sharp teeth. "Gaara, is that any way to treat you Lord?" Orochimaru asked laughing all the while.

"You are not my Lord, Orochimaru, you never were." Gaara frowned.

"How true, but under the death of Shukaku, and under the death of Kyuubi I have taken up their helms. Ergo, I am your new Lord. Isn't that right, Kabuto?"

"Yes my Lord," Kabuto said standing behind Orochimaru, hand held to his chest, and bowed slightly. There were ten major leaders in Hell, Kyuubi being among them, and Gaara's old master Shukaku, but only Orochimaru had survived the attack.

"Regardless of what you say," Gaara said. "I shall not be returning back with you, nor will Naruto, we are free men now, our sentences were up when those to whom our allegiance was pledged were killed."

"Be that as it may, you will find that our people will be disoriented, they will need strong, familiar faces to guide them back to a life of relative normalcy, and what if we are attacked again?" Orochimaru asked silkily. "We have dwindled in numbers, Gaara, we need your and Naruto's strength."

"I told you—" But Lee had his hand on Gaara's shoulder.

"Gaara, my love, your people need you!" Lee smiled at him.

"Lee, I will not leave you," He was quite right in saying that. He wouldn't leave Lee, couldn't leave Lee, he loved him fully. But his love wasn't conditional like humans, nor was it unconditional like some humans claimed theirs to be, unless you looked at the word in its actual definition.

Gaara felt that without Lee life was not worth living. He would literally rather die damned by God above than not be with his beloved.

"Your little treat may come along as well," Orochimaru smiled. "He wouldn't be the first human to come to Hell, I mean how long ago was it since Dante passed through?"

"Quite a long time ago, Orochimaru-sama."

"Ah, well then that solves it, all we have to do is go retrieve Naruto wherever he's gotten off to. I thought it was convenient that your two energy signals were so close together." The snake smiled. "A coincidence really."

"There are no coincidences," Gaara said stonily. "And Naruto Uzumaki will not be returning with us, he is sealed, and will be of no use to you."

"A seal?" Orochimaru asked. "By your own hand I would suppose? How evil Gaara."

"It was not my doing, he procured the seal by those humans who attacked, he's not yet strong enough to return, let him rest for now." The redhead heard the door to Sasuke's apartment complex open, he cast a glance in the direction to see the two he'd just left running down to them.

"Speak of the devil," Orochimaru said, laughing at his own irony.

"Go back inside, Naruto. This no longer concerns you, not until you get the full use of your powers again."

Naruto stared at the strange scene before him, the moon was sinking in the sky, casting a glow over everything, Orochimaru's snow white skin glinted in the light, Gaara's eyes spoke of evils past, and Lee looked weirdly calm, happy to be holding Gaara's hand. The blond looked lost, and more than anything he looked cold, but even a human would've been cold this late at night without pants on.

"My, my, this is a side of Naruto I have yet to see." Orochimaru smiled, Kabuto's eye became slits and he grabbed the man's arm rather tightly. "Oh calm down, Kabuto, he's not my type, much too innocent." The snake laughed. "And not the fun, corrupt innocent kind even."

"We are leaving, Naruto, keep in touch." Gaara said.

"Sasuke-kun, please give Sakura-san a good excuse for me!" Lee smiled. In a puff of pitch black smoke they were gone leaving Naruto and his new human standing there staring at the place the strange gathering had been.

The blond shivered and Sasuke pulled him closer. "Let's get you back inside." And they slowly walked back into the complex, Naruto looking over his shoulder every few minutes. When they finally got back inside he sat on the couch and stared at Sasuke.

"Why would they go back without me?" He asked, the cold from outside now deep in his bones, his teeth chattered and he thankfully laid his head in the crook of Sasuke's neck when the man sat down beside him, putting his arm around him.

It was so strange, Sasuke had known Naruto all of one day, almost two if he hadn't passed out, but here he was comforting the boy—er—demon, hugging him, and whispering things in his ears. Naruto was brash, and he seemed hotheaded, but damn it there was something about him, something Sasuke really liked, something that kept him from being scared, gave him this irrational courage to hold a demon in his arms.

"What did he mean by you not having your full powers?" Sasuke asked, thinking back to what he'd just seen. So Naruto told him the truth, the whole rapid story, not leaving a detail out. He was basically human, only he healed faster and was immune to their sicknesses. "Then maybe he said you couldn't come back because as of right now you'd be a liability? He couldn't just leave Lee, but Gaara wouldn't be able to protect him and you right now."

Naruto could hardly hear Sasuke, he was drifting into a comforted sleep. Sasuke sighed and picked the boy up and walked into his bedroom and him down. He thought about getting in with him, but decided against it, maybe they _weren't _on that level yet; just because they'd been intimate once, earlier that day. He just didn't feel comfortable with it.

So he stripped off his pants and shirt, went to the closet for a spare comforter and laid on the couch. Closing his eyes, this had been one hell of a day. Well, maybe it had been one Hell of a day in actuality.

The morning came too early. That was very evident when three hours from the departure of two demons and a human from this plane there was a knock at Sasuke's door. The raven poked an eye open, he was an unnecessarily light sleeper when he wasn't knocked unconscious by the random presence of creatures running rampant from the depths of the Earth.

He rolled off the couch, hair disheveled and scratching in the most unsanitary places as he rubbed his eyes. He threw the door open and for a moment he wished it were a demon staring back at him.

Mikoto Uchiha, better known as his mother, was staring back at him. Her servant, Tenten, no surname, was carrying bags upon bags of name brand knick-knacks and things of the like. Mikoto looked her son up and down before shaking her head and pushing her way into his home.

"Put them down Tenten, I'm sure you're arms are tired." Mikoto said in a soft, motherly voice. Tenten only smiled.

"Ah Mrs. Uchiha I've got it." Tenten smiled happily, the Uchiha had taken her in when she was a girl who had been abandoned by her own family. Mikoto took her everywhere she went, and Tenten refused to let the woman do anything for herself, so begrudgingly Sasuke's mother let her do the housework, but only she was allowed to do the cooking and tend to Fugaku, her husband.

Tenten blushed a bit at the sight of Sasuke standing there, nearly nude. Damn, all the cute ones were gay or taken. She placed the bags on the counter and stood behind Mikoto.

"Now," Mikoto said straightening out her simple dress, she never wore anything flashy not unless Fugaku took her to one of his company parties, or out to a night on the town, but she was happiest in her simple dresses and gowns. "what is this I hear about you picking up a vagrant off the streets and housing him?" She was still smiling and she pulled her son into a hug.

"He was hurt mother, and refused medical attention, I had to do something." Sasuke hugged her back and closed his eyes when her smell hit him, he missed his mom, not living in their house anymore made him slightly jaded, but he did so enjoy seeing her.

"I would expect nothing less from my son," Mikoto smiled at him and then back at Tenten, who only blushed even harder.

"Yeah, whoever knew the squirt was such a humanitarian." Tenten laughed, earning an evil look from Sasuke. She was older than him by a year, but she'd been found when she was four and had been raised as his sister, but unlike Itachi she had no title to their money, not one she knew about anyway, and she didn't care, she was just content like this. She was also not very hard to reach since she was never a room away from Mikoto's call, even if the woman protested to it from time to time.

"Watch yourself, puffball, or I'll kick _you _out." He smirked back at her.

"Children…." Mikoto warned. She was a beautiful woman with light brown hair and even lighter brown eyes, thin but not frail, and a lovely frame even in her late thirties. It was a no wonder Fugaku had fallen for her so many years ago, not that he was a bad looker himself, with age he'd only become more handsome. "Now, where is this boy? You haven't sent him on his way already have you?"

"No, he's in my room," Sasuke said without thinking, but when Tenten bursted out laughing he went pink.

"You work pretty fast there, bro."

"Shut it." Sasuke said, pink becoming red. Tenten and Itachi both knew how to push his buttons rather quickly, with Itachi it was unadulterated anger, with Tenten it was unbelievable embarrassment.

"Sasuke! You didn't—not with—you just met him!" Mikoto said aghast.

"Mother I didn't—well I mean I did, but we were—and he doesn't have any diseases—I…" Sasuke tried, only caused Tenten to laugh so hard she was gripping her sides.

"Oh my poor little boy, seduced by some wandering man!" Mikoto hugged Sasuke again before turning towards his room with a fire in her eyes, she stormed in, followed closely behind her was her son and adopted daughter.

The next thing Sasuke knew there was a simultaneous 'aw' from his mother and Tenten.

"Aw!" They nearly screeched seeing Naruto curled up with one of Sasuke's pillows, inhaling deeply. Sasuke also noticed that the shaking in his mother's fists had become both of her hands clasped over her heart. So she didn't want to kill him now 'cause he was cute? What the hell?

"What happened to me being seduced?" Sasuke asked, eyebrow raising.

"Sasuke he's just a boy, how old is he?"

"Eighteen," Sasuke supplied, Naruto would be the younger one! "He's an orphan now, he and his old adopted father were mugged and shot at, he was more scared than injured, and he just passed out on the street. I couldn't leave him there."

"_Sasuke…" _Naruto mumbled in his sleep. His mother and Tenten couldn't help but 'aw' again as Sasuke went cherry red. He walked over and began to shake Naruto gently.

"Don't wake him for us," Mikoto whispered but Naruto poked an eye open. He smiled at first seeing the raven boy sitting there but it fell from his face.

"Who the heck are they?" He asked sleepily.

"This, Naruto, is my mother, and this is Tenten, an adopted brat."

"Shut the hell up, duck butt!" Tenten yelled.

"See!" Naruto exclaimed pointing at the girl then jumping out of the bed and bounding to land in front of her, damn it she was taller than him, but that was beside the point. "I'm not the only one who thinks that it looks like a duck's ass!"

"Damn it Tenten! Don't start that with me!" Sasuke yelled back.

"Calm down please," Mikoto laughed standing between them all like a mediator. "Little Naruto, hello there, I am Mikoto Uchiha, but you may call me mother if you like." She outstretched her hand and Naruto looked at it.

"Oh, well hi there…" Naruto said confused, he looked at Sasuke who walked behind Naruto and placed the boy's hand in his mother's. She shook it for him.

"He's not use to our customs, his adopted father didn't let him out of their house much,"

Mikoto's face became devoid of all emotion. She stared at Naruto for a moment, looking him up and down. "I see." She said and then after a full minute of staring she finally pulled him into a deep hug. "You poor child, left fatherless on the street at eighteen, a prisoner all your life! Well you're safe now, I'll have the paperwork drawn up and adopt you as well!"

"Adopt?" Naruto asked.

"Make you part of this family." Mikoto smiled.

"Mother, who's being abrupt now?" Sasuke asked. "Give him a little more time, besides, I've already kind of adopted him, he's my new assistant, and new housemate."

"Wait, he's your boyfriend?" Tenten asked. "You just met Sasuke! Don't be a dumbass."

"Tenten!" Mikoto shouted.

"What? It's true."

"No, we're not…we're not boyfriends alright." Sasuke told her.

"Oh? But you like him don't you?" Tenten pushed.

"That's enough," Mikoto said tired of the talk of her son's love life. Get some clothes on boys, I wasn't sure what your situation would be Naruto, but now that I know you're not some sex-crazed, psycho, demonic worshipping, rapist I can take you and Sasuke out."

"Out?" Did these people not believe in having a slow morning? Naruto climbed back into the bed. "Sorry Mrs. Uchiha, but I'm heading back to sleep. I didn't get a lot of it last night." Mikoto went red in the face before she walked out of the room.

"Mother!" Sasuke followed behind her, Tenten still laughing quite hard. "Mother he didn't mean it like that!"

They faced each other for a moment, Mikoto's eyes boring into Sasuke.

"Sasuke, you're an adult now, you can do as you please, when you and Naruto are ready we'll be back." Mikoto's blush was hard to hide. "Tenten, come along, oh, and I've brought you some things from the stores, so we'll leave the bags."

Sasuke stood there, tired, and mouth hanging open. What could he say? So he watched her leave and could only wave as they closed the door behind him. He turned back towards his bedroom and stared down at the half-awake creature lying there.

"Do you know what you just did?" He asked, steadying his wavering voice.

"Finally got some peace and quiet in here, lay down Sasuke you look like you're about to blow a gasket." Naruto scooted over and the raven sat on his bed. "So that was your mom huh?"

"Yes, and you've gone and made her think I was some kind of sex-hound." Sasuke said miserably, he threw his head back on his pillow and just stared at Naruto.

"Well, if the shoe fits." The fox grinned.

"Dobe, I am not a sex-fiend."

"Yeah, well I'm not a sex demon, but you still thought I was," Naruto said triumphantly. "Besides those guys are so stuck up."

"Are you an idiot? I thought you meant a demon in bed, but obviously you don't know what that phrase means." The poor raven brought his hands up to his face and moaned. "God, she's going to tell father, and then he's going to want to talk…"

"Hey, at least you have parents to talk to, Kyuubi was all I had and that bastard up and died on me."

That broke the slight depression Sasuke had gone into and his gaze became more a sympathetic one. He brought his arms over his stomach and laced his fingers together. "So you going to tell me what Hell is like?" He asked thinking a good subject change was in order.

Naruto's eyebrow went up. "What's to tell? It's the most miserable place in existence, people getting tortured, flayed alive, crying, it smells like burning skin and hair all the time, you have to watch where you step or you might walk right over someone's intestines." Naruto smiled. "But it was my home. The only one I've ever known."

"You know…" Sasuke stopped himself. That was moving too fast.

"What?" Naruto asked. "Y'know somewhere worse?"

"No, no, that's not what I was going to say." Sasuke sighed and rolled over. "I kind of want to get to know you, dobe, tell me about yourself, before I just let you stay here, how do I know you won't eat me in my sleep or something?"

Naruto laughed, he laughed so hard tears began to stream from his eyes, and it made Sasuke smile as he watched the blond's canines protrude slightly from his mouth, and noticed how long the boy's eyelashes were, how luscious his lips were even when pulled back so far to laugh.

"Look Sasuke, I know you think I'm some evil being who's probably here to enslave the human race, but the truth is demons and humans and hell even angels are so close that we can't even distinguish one from the other at first glance. Like you, you have a powerful aura about you, and if I hadn't met you here on this plane, and witnessed that you don't have any underlying powers I might mistake you for one of us," Naruto smiled at the look on Sasuke's face, his mouth hanging open in protest.

"Now just a minute Naruto—"

"It's not such a bad thing," The fox said. "yeah, we're damned souls, but we still got feeling's y'know? A lot of us didn't even ask to be demons, my parents gave me up, Gaara did it to save someone a couple centuries back, he's as old as the sand itself."

"Have you ever met an angel?" Sasuke asked Naruto ran his hand over Sasuke chest and closed his eyes. "Two, they were cousins," He smiled. "But one of them was a pompous jackass."

"What are they like?" Sasuke asked.

"Who? Neji? I just told you he was a jackass."

"No, you idiot, what are angels like?" Sasuke asked, he liked the way Naruto was absentmindedly rubbing his chest back and forth, the blond's eyes were closed, but he'd scoot closer to Sasuke and was lying with his head on his shoulder.

"Pricks usually," Naruto answered. "they're all holier-than-thou when we all know those bastards have more problems than we do, I don't know why the hell they try to hide it."

"Maybe they don't have a choice?" Sasuke asked.

"Maybe, but I don't just kill and pillage like a stereotypical demon, I don't really know any that do. Hmph, I bet you humans would be very disappointed at actually seeing how our cities and our societies work."

"No war and random killing?" Sasuke asked, running a hand through Naruto's hair, and he decided that the warmth from the shower was definitely all Naruto.

"Oh hell yeah, all the time," The blond smiled, purring inaudibly. "just a bit more discreet than you think it'd be, there are systems in place that keep us low ranking peons at the bottom, and our masters at the top,"

"So these masters? Who are they?"

"There are ten masters, Shukaku, Bakeneko, Kyodaigame, Saru, Irukama, Namekuji, Kabutomushi, Kyogyu, Kyuubi, and Orochimaru, then there are some others, people I don't know. Each master had an underling, which was me; we could take our master's form because they gave us the ability."

"What is the form?" Sasuke asked.

"Mine? A fox," Naruto smiled. "A nine-tailed fox with unsurpassed speed, no one messed with us underlings, but in our own right we were even worse than the slaves, if our masters didn't want to deal with us we became the bottom of the barrel, anyone could mess with us without repercussions from our lords and masters. But that doesn't matter, Kyuubi's dead, my powers are sealed, and I'm stuck on earth."

"That last one isn't so bad is it?" Sasuke asked touching his lips to the top of Naruto's head.

"I don't guess so," Naruto grumbled.

"Besides, the way you make it sound Hell is well, Hell. Why would you want to go back?"

"I…" Naruto's head swiveled up to look Sasuke in the eyes. "Because I don't belong on Earth." He finally said after what felt like an eternity. "Sasuke, surely you've noticed something about me, something that makes you feel strange,"

"I'm strangely attracted to you," Sasuke supplemented.

"There. See, how long would it normally take you to let someone get this close?" He asked, motioning to what they were doing, anyone who looked at them would have mistaken them for a couple who'd been together for at least two or three years now.

"It wouldn't have happened; I don't let people get this close." Sasuke admitted, but it seemed like it was more to himself than to Naruto. "But Naruto, you're not a person, you're so much more than that, a dobe yeah, but you're also something special."

"Hmph, where I come from I'm a dime a dozen." Naruto assured him. "This can't be good for you, or even for me, Sasuke I'm starting to like you, and I don't like it."

The raven sat up a bit to stare into Naruto's sea blue eyes. "Why not?"

"These emotions are foreign to me," Naruto said truthfully. "I don't know what to say about them, I've known you for a day, you're fucking _human_, definitely not a turn on, it's all too sudden, and too weird."

"So you've never had feelings for anyone?" His obsidian eyes were lit with a kind of amused humor.

"Feelings aren't really big down there," The blond tried.

"But you're not down there," Sasuke smiled. "You're right here, on Earth, with me. Why should we question the fact that we're so close a day after meeting? Why should you care that you're starting to like me? It shouldn't matter, what do we care?"

"Do you think you could handle this?" Naruto asked staring him right in his dark eyes. "We might get attacked again, more acquaintances of mine might show up, and what if I do go back to Hell? What then? Am I just supposed to forget all of this?"

"All of this? So you do want this to be something." Sasuke smirked leaning down and kissing Naruto softly.

"Shut up and answer the question, bastard." Naruto laughed.

"I don't care, it might get difficult if another fucking bull just comes out of nowhere, but we'll handle it, and if you go back to Hell again maybe I'll go too, Lee's there, can't let him have all the fun can I?"

"You're an idiot, you know that right?" Naruto asked. Sasuke had no idea what he was getting himself into, and the blond was just selfish enough not to explain it to him, he'd done his job trying to convince the raven haired young man to stop what he was doing, but the human was damn persistent, so he'd let him be persistent, it was his own doing.

"I know," Sasuke smirked.

"So you going to tell me about yourself then? And just what the hell _this _is going to be?"

"It can be whatever you want it to be," Sasuke told him. "For me it's going to be something akin to a relationship,"

"And just how many of those have you had?" Naruto asked, not that he cared.

"Hm, none. I don't think you'd care but I've had a lot of flings, every time I try to settle down it just doesn't work out."

"Mm, well then a relationship it is," The blond smiled. "Now tell me about yourself."

So he did. He told him all about his life, from his time spent in America, New York of course, to his schooling, to his childhood, about his parents, his brother, more about Tenten, just about everything.

They laid there and talked for hours, learning that they had a lot in common, and a lot of differences, the word "bastard" was thrown around a lot from Naruto, which would subsequently be followed by a curt "dobe" on Sasuke's part. But for the most part they got a long quite well.

They talked till there was another knock at the door and the sun was high in the sky.

"Shit!" Sasuke said looking at his alarm clock on the side of the bed. "That's mother! She's back!"

"She pretty much runs your life huh?" Naruto laughed.

"Shut up and get dressed idiot!" Sasuke growled jumping over to the dresser and throwing clothes out.

"But we didn't even _shower_." Naruto laughed, creeping up behind the panicing raven and running his hands down his sides. "I've decided I like showering."

"There'll be plenty of time for showers later, now put some damn clothes on!" There was another knock. "Coming!" Sasuke shouted, buttoning his shirt rather sloppily and tucking it into his black slacks. He caught his breath before he let the door fly open.

"Oh, there he is Sakura dear." Mikoto smiled at Sasuke. "It was the most convenient thing, she was coming up the stairs the same time we were."

Sasuke's line of sight landed on the fashionable pink haired woman, she gave Sasuke the once over and didn't look too pleased. Pushing past him she walked into his apartment followed by Mikoto and Tenten. His boss turned quickly staring him in the face.

"Just what the hell is this Uchiha?" She asked. "You're too sick for work, but you're well enough to get dressed and go out and about?"

"Didn't you kick me out of the office?" Sasuke asked her.

"That's a small detail." She huffed. "Here," She handed him the pot in her hands. "I made you some chicken noodle soup,"

"Oh, well thank you Sakura, come on in and have a seat," He took the pot and walked into the kitchen, sitting it down on the stove's eye.

"Oi, Sasuke which pair of pants should I wear?" Naruto asked waltzing out of Sasuke's room in his underwear holding his own pants and a pair of Sasuke's. "I was thinking mine cause I—"

"Their underwear match!" Tenten laughed as she remembered what Sasuke's looked like earlier that morning. "How cute!"

"Sasuke who is this?" Sakura asked.

"I could say the same thing to you billboard brow." Naruto turned to the girl smugly.

"Bill…board…brow?" Sakura asked, her fist clenching.

"That's Naruto, Sasuke's new beau, well," Tenten paused in thought. "He'd be Sasuke's only beau." She smiled at her adopted brother. "Aw, he's getting so much older,"

"That's enough all of you," Sasuke steamed. He put his hands on Naruto's shoulders and turned him around slowly sending him back into his room. "My pants, dobe, yours need a good wash,"

"We can shower in our clothes?" Naruto asked looking back. Sasuke smiled a bit before he closed his door. The young man shook his head as he turned back to the rest of his party and smiled at them as well.

"You sure picked a smart one." Sakura said a bit miffed.

"He's actually a very sweet boy," Mikoto told her. "But he was obviously jealous of a new person in Sasuke's life he didn't know about."

"Mother, you can't assume things to put in your novels," Sasuke sighed. It was true, his mother wrote a few of the books that Kakashi was very fond of reading, and Sasuke really didn't want to know where she got her material.

Mikoto only smiled innocently before shrugging and turning back to Sakura. "Dear, why not come with us? We're going to take Sasuke and Naruto out for things they might need."

"Mother…" Sasuke went red in the face.

"Oh no Sasuke, I do think I'll accompany you, thank you Mrs. Uchiha for the invitation. I'm so glad to see Sasuke has a healthy relationship with his family, and that he still goes grocery shopping with his mother, you don't see that a lot anymore."

"Well he knows how much I enjoy spending time with him,"

"Sasuke! How the hell am I suppose to button this thing?" Naruto yelled from the room.

"I'd—uh—I'd better go check on him, you guys just talk amongst yourselves," Sasuke ducked into his room before he could catch Tenten's remark about not taking to long to clothe his boyfriend.

Once inside Sasuke knew he would be getting a camera today. He had to document all the little things Naruto did, like somehow get his head caught in a button down shirt, with his little rump in the air, pants around his ankles.

"My god—oodness, someone might think you've never put clothes on before." Sasuke laughed.

"Shut up bastard I've never had to deal with all these little clamps and catches before!" Naruto yelled, but it was muffled a bit by the floor in his mouth. Sasuke picked him up and helped him put everything in proper order, even buttoning his pants for him and giving his crotch a good squeeze before ushering him out of the room holding his hand.

"Ready?" He asked the ladies in waiting. His mother gave him a stern look and Sasuke rolled his eyes, he walked back into his room, grabbed two coats and walked back out. "Ready now?"

"Very," Mikoto smiled. "come along girls, we'll take my van."

So they all left the house, the girls piling into Mikoto's minivan, and Sasuke and Naruto getting into his two door sedan. Something just felt like it was going to be a good day, despite it being just a bit after noon, and the fact that it had been a strange two days. And Sasuke smiled at it all, he really didn't have anything to complain about right now.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Like it? Love it? I think you should tell me how it was via review! I'd like to hear your feedback, and I'll promise to reply. ::smiley face::

Love,

--Hitome-Chan


	4. Chapter 4

**Teme No Baka**

**Summary: **Naruto Uzumaki didn't NEED Sasuke, or his money, or his family but without him he'd be on the streets, without Sasuke he'd be on the run from demon-hunting "angels" and probably a bit lonely. Luckily he's got Sasuke. SasuNaru AU

**Author's Notes: **

**Reply to Rascalchibi: **

Rascalchibi said: I like the story so far, but I find Tenten a little too OC like...and Mikoto being in her late 30s is kind of a stretch if Sasuke is already 19. I take late 30s to mean like 38/39. And depending on the age difference between Sasuke and Itachi (in the actual Naruto it's like 5 years) that would put her pregnant with Itachi at like 15 or 16...just saying. It's also a little weird to have Mikoto writing Jiraiya's books... I don't want to sound like I'm picking on things, so if it comes across that way sry. The writing is good though and the story line is keeping my attention so far :)

Hitome-Chan replies: Ah sorry about the Tenten bit! I try to research the characters before I put them in but I couldn't find helpful information about her, and the Mikoto thing well I'm eighteen and my mom is 39…and I have an older sister of twenty-five so that was coming from personal experience. And her work as an author I didn't mean to confuse you, I meant she wrote _some _of the books Kakashi reads, I would think he read others besides Icha-Icha Paradise. You weren't picking you were giving your honest opinion and I appreciate that so much! I thank you for reading and reviewing.

* * *

**Chapter Four**

In a place not too high above Earth but just below Heaven five figures flew on wings that weren't theirs. In this place the moon was red and the sky was the land. They wore masks even here, for you never know where you may find prying eyes. The figures were in a deep conversation over what they'd procured on their journey to Hell and back, and what had happened there.

"Where do you think that fox demon was sent?" One of them asked, his mask an orange swirl, he was obviously the leader of the group.

"Does it matter?" Another one of them asked.

"He's sealed," The one standing closets to the leader said. "Does it really matter, uncle?" This particular person may have been mistaken for a female, but only because of his slight frame and the purple fingernail polish adorning his hands.

"It does," The uncle answered turning to his nephew, even with his mask off the young man was a beauty, long flowing raven hair, beautiful obsidian eyes, two strange markings on either side of his face, just lines marking the sides of his cheeks. "If he breaks the seal—"

"Did you see him?" A tall, cocky member said, smiling behind his blue mask shaped liked a half moon on one side and half of the sun on the other. "He was an idiot, rage outweighed his judgment, I don't care if he dropped out of the sky and was squashed by a semi."

"If it was the will of God, then he shall be dead, if not, then he's probably fucking broken somewhere." This member had a skeleton mask on, a lot of the time his talk about religion was horribly obscured by his choice of words, such as then.

"Gentlemen," The orange masked leader said to them. "We're not done just yet, now that we've acquired all the powers of the master's we will have to form them back into a complete being,"

"Do you really think that Jubi will listen to you, or any of us, once he is back?"

"Now, now," The leader said. "God condemned Jubi to Hell, and when the Devil saw how powerful he was he split him into ten equal pieces, we all know this, so I'm sure he'll be more than grateful to be able to ravage both good and evil."

"But," The man's nephew said. "What do we do when he's done with God and Lucifer?"

"That's easy," The man told his group. "We simply break him back down again, only this time into even less pieces of himself, pieces so small they can't form personalities, or powers, now, class dismissed," He smiled as one by one they began disappearing.

"You will stop by later, will you not?" His nephew, the last one left hovered there, his borrowed black wings beating slowly.

"Of course," The leader said pulling his mask off and letting his own raven hair flow. "I have yet to see all of my family."

* * *

"Mrs. Mikoto really," Naruto tried but the woman wouldn't have it as he paraded out of the dressing room, he had tried on so many suits he was absolutely tired of clothing. This one was some really expensive thing that humans valued, made of a silk-cotton blend, pin stripped, all black except the tie, which was a dark blue to compliment his eyes.

Sasuke only looked on amused, truth be told with a haircut and maybe some duck tape across his mouth Naruto would look like a young executive, he had the looks in the tuxes, but something told the raven that Naruto's spirit wouldn't like being held back like that, he was too exuberant, too boisterous, too fun. He almost laughed when his mother sent the poor blond back into the dressing room with more casual clothing.

"Mikoto, I don't think Fugaku will be pleased that you spent two thousand dollars on just a tie…" Tenten said looking over a receipt. "Let alone fifteen for just three suits,"

"Three Armani suits Tenten, that is a bargain," Mikoto smiled. "Fugaku will understand, I have ways of making him less grumpy," At that both Tenten and Sasuke's faces soured. "Oh please, we're married, of course we still have intercourse—"

"Mom!" The two yelled at the same, causing Naruto to peak out of the dressing room, and a few other patrons around them to turn and stare.

"Son," Mikoto said evilly, smiling a smile Sasuke didn't like. "your new little 'friend' basically told me you and he were up till the break of dawn—making love—that's a good phrase for it. I think it should be alright for your mother to say she still enjoys when your father—"

"Lalalala! I'm not hearing you!" Sasuke's hands found his ears as he tried to muffle the horrid words his mother was saying.

"Oh grow up," Mikoto said rolling her eyes, she looked over at Tenten, who was doing the exact same thing. "Where did I go wrong? I thought surely my children would be adult enough to talk sex with their mother."

"What healthy offspring would want to do that?" Sasuke asked. Before Mikoto could answer it Sakura was making her way back over to them. She'd decided that since she was out it was a perfect time to do some shopping of her own. She had a bag from just about every store in both hands, and somehow had the strength to carry it all and not fall over.

No one ever questioned where she got that ability though.

She smiled at them as she set the bags down, they were mostly shoes, but a few accessories such as jewelry and make-ups were in some of them as well. She looked around. "Where's Naruto?" After the first half-hour of hating his guts, and one of the reasons she went off by herself, she realized that there was no point in disliking him. She was categorizing him as unfortunately ungifted in the brains department.

What most of them failed to realize was that Naruto was quite smart, well…he had enough common sense to know how to survive. He really was unaccustomed to human traditions, and it was continually making him look like the worlds dumbest blond, but he was trying. Sadly at this moment he was sitting in the dressing room surrounded by foreign clothing, in the floor, cross legged, and wondering why the hell Sasuke wasn't helping him put these clothes on.

"Oi! Teme!" Naruto yelled, half-naked as what seemed to be usual. "Get your ass in here and help me!"

Sasuke sighed. "We'll be out shortly," He said walking into the dressing room and ignoring the catcalls behind hm. He was getting used to seeing the blond unable to manage clothes, he was beginning to surmise that Naruto had put his jumpsuit on once and had never taken it off, which wasn't very far from the truth. He had changed it once when it stopped fitting, but Kyuubi just provided another one, larger, and he hadn't needed to take this one off. "You're pathetic." Sasuke laughed. "What is so hard about this?"

"Hey," Naruto exclaimed looking up from the floor. "Say another word and I swear I _will _eat you in your sleep." Naruto smiled at the slight alarm in Sasuke's eyes before they went completely blank again and he walked all the way in.

"Alright, dobe, I'm going to show you how to do this once. _Once_. Got that? And the next time I help you with your cloth it better be to take them off."

"That can be arranged here," Naruto smiled standing up. "But I've only got one thing for you to take off of me." He grabbed Sasuke's collar and pulled him in for a rather vicious kiss. He licked Sasuke's bottom lip before taking it into his mouth, he bit down. Hard.

The raven gasped but Naruto's tongue was in his mouth before he could do much else, there was a knee kneading his crotch and a pair of sinful hands doing things to his nipples he didn't not expect that he would have ever liked till this exact moment in time.

Naruto sucked on the blood that was coming out of Sasuke's poor lip, he nursed the life sustaining liquid as if it were going out of stock. Sasuke's eyes fluttered shut as Naruto's right hand moved down into his pants, damn it where was his restraint? He was about to climax just from this touch.

"Enough," He said weakly. But Naruto smiled deepening the kiss so Sasuke couldn't talk. The raven was enjoying this more than he should, being dominated like this, pinned to the walls, being violated ruthlessly.

Somehow his pants had fallen around his ankles and Naruto was somehow moving down his body, kissing him in the most sensual places, while still keeping him pinned to the wall. Sasuke moaned unwillingly, giving in more and more.

This was a public place! He tried to reason with himself, but his fingers curled. His mother was just outside the door! But his mouth opened at the prospect of getting caught and Naruto's name came out of his throat shakily.

He couldn't hold back anymore, he moaned loudly, gutturally, and bucked into the mouth now wrapped the base of himself, Naruto's throat was vibrating, and his tongue was working, and Sasuke was seeing white spots and wondering where Naruto learned how to do this, but that answer seemed pretty evident.

He shouldn't have looked down, should've just kept his eyes closed and continued his sometimes silent cries, but he didn't. He opened his eyes and looked down at what Naruto was doing, that all it took. He shot his spunk deep into Naruto's throat; the young demon smiling to himself at how easily turned on Sasuke was, even if his own member throbbed painfully.

"F-f-fuck." Sasuke said breathlessly gripping the wall for support. His legs felt like jelly, his chest heaved, and his brow was sweating like he'd run a marathon. His eye watched Naruto stand and push him against the wall again, the blond's erection pushing into his slowly dwindling self.

"Enjoy it?" Naruto asked kissing Sasuke again.

"Damn it you're the fucking devil," Sasuke said as soon as his lips were free, they hurt, and bled, and he only wanted to kiss Naruto again.

"Nope," Naruto smiled. "but I met him once, not as bad as everyone thinks."

"That's not something to joke about," Sasuke told him trying to gain a sense of himself.

"You're right," Naruto laughed. "He was just as bad as everyone thinks he is, worse, he's arrogant. But I don't want to talk about him, or any one else but you and me right now." And Naruto was kissing him again, painfully working Sasuke's groin back to full mast, he had only just finished, and now here he was ready again.

"I don't like your shirt," Naruto pouted. "away with it,"

"Take it off yourself," Sasuke teased, he wasn't expecting the fox to rip the damn thing off of him. For a moment he'd forgotten what kind of volatile creature he was dealing with, how would he explain that one? Well, they'd been in here too long anyway, their party was sure to know something was up.

"My turn." Naruto smiled maliciously, and for him it was almost too easy. The smirk on Sasuke's face disappeared when he was whirled around on the wall and his shorts were pulled down, but he was absolutely panicked when he felt a finger pushing against his entrance.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked, face smashed against the wall.

"I told you it was my turn," Naruto smiling plunging his finger in, and Sasuke saw those bright light again.

* * *

Gaara was staring over the expanse of nothingness that was now Metropolis, Orochimaru's men were rebuilding as best and quickly as they could, and the families that had survived were staying in the neighboring city, Opaque. True Metropolis was the main city, but Hell was expansive, as big as our world, bigger even.

There were deserts of nothing but lava, but the farther into Hell you got, the colder it got. It stands to reason that Hell is as far from the warmth of God as you can get, and the closer one got to Lucifer the worse it became, no one but those who had betrayed or attempted to seduce the prodigal son lived in that place, and quite unhappily. Though there were no happy residents of the world known as Hell, only people who got by, and smiled to stave insanity.

"Little brother," The red headed man turned, his face void of expression.

"Temari," Gaara said, glaring at her. There was speculation on how he had come to Hell, being born human, but the sad truth of it was his mother had been dying, and his father felt like all of his children were not significant enough to save her life, so he sacrificed them all, burnt at the stake. His mother still died and Gaara had to grow up here, devoid of anything, a husk, doing what he was told by his superiors and asserting his superiority over those who were underneath him.

But that had been before. His vision switched from the blonde to Lee who was standing beside her, he looked more refreshed now that they had acclimated him to the airs and pressures of Hell, starting at the top and working they're way down to Metropolis.

By the way, if you're ever looking for the Gates of Hell it isn't hard to find, its just on the cusp of human belief, if you manage to make it there then you'll find it, opened and inviting, I don't promote going in though, typically humans never get out unless given permission. Typically. But for those who were given permission to come and go as they pleased they did not make the journey very often.

"Don't act so unhappy to see me," The girl smiled before she hugged him, but she was surprised when he put his arms around her as well, albeit very loosely. She let go and stared at him with wide wondering eyes, her blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, her blue eyes sparkling. Gaara looked into her face and saw familiarity, and though he was not very compassionate he was appreciative. "I guess you're time out of this hole has changed you," Temari said puzzled.

"Not so much," Gaara answered and held his hand out as a gesture for Lee to come to him, the taller man smiled and walked over to him. "but he is opening doors." Gaara closed his eyes for a moment, the black rings surrounding them looking whole.

"I am only loving you, Gaara-kun," Lee smiled. This place would have been sucking the joy right out of him if it weren't for the red head and his two siblings. He had been ecstatic to find out that Gaara had relations, and had introduced himself rather thoroughly. Kankuro had been fed up with him and said he had better things to do, but Temari (who was equally annoyed) stayed because of her youngest brother. This Lee seemed to do him some good, and she wouldn't interfere with that.

"You were telling me about the masters Gaara, my love." Lee said watching people outside of Gaara's window, well half-people, their other halves were snake tails. It was a spectacle to watch them slither up the sides of buildings with giant beams of what he could only presume was iron, but it was actually much strong than iron, it was the same metal they used to forge their swords with, the opposite of the powerful Holy Armaments, they called their weapons Hellion Steel, but the metal had no name.

"Yes," Gaara said grimly, he looked at Temari and she turned to leave understanding. "Come this way, Lee." They walked farther into the building that had once belonged to Shukaku, but it now belonged to the red head, he was now a master, and he wasn't sure if he liked it yet. He would probably just come to accept it, he had Lee here that's all that mattered.

He opened Shukaku's old room and the smell of decay hit Lee's nose so hard he retched. With a thought from Gaara the torches around the room lit and lying there with at least ten visible wounds was Shukaku. He was large, larger than Lee would have expected, and he had the same dark rings around his eyes as Gaara. Shukaku had one tail, and was the color of sand, but he had the same black rings around his body that he did around his face.

"This is my master," Gaara said walking into the room completely, it was expansive, huge even, large enough to house the raccoon dog and any of his guests. "He was a ruthless man, a drunk, and a murderer. His insanity is my own, and his bloodlust still fuels me," He was staring down at the beast on the floor with memories. Raising a hand sand began to roll off of Shukaku in waves and began covering Gaara, it sunk deeply into his skin. "As all of his curses are my own, now so shall his strength be."

Lee watched with wide eyes as the sand disappeared into his lover, and though the other boy's face didn't show it he knew that Gaara was in pain. He walked to him and put his arms around him, shushing him and rubbing his back. Shukaku was halfway gone when Gaara passed out, but the sand didn't stop, it was covering both of them now, Lee was not going to let go of him anytime soon. He sat them on the ground, cradling Gaara to his chest as it became harder to breath, a bit of the sand broke into his skin, and he winced in pain, but the majority of it could not get in and instead changed pace and headed for Gaara.

Ten minutes passed and the sand finally stopped falling, the last of it absorbing itself in both of them. Gaara's eyes fluttered open, he looked around and for a moment he seemed worried, but that quickly faded.

"Are you alright my love?" Lee asked softly.

"Fine." Gaara said rising to his feet and then staring down at Lee. "I am sorry you had to witness my moment of weakness, Shukaku was damned fooled into thinking that concentrating all of his power into one grain would kill me."

"Explain?" Lee questioned.

"I would not have fallen except that old man left most of his strength in a single grain of sand, he concentrated so much of it into that one piece that I was taken by surprise." Gaara admitted rather angrily. "It is just like him to try to kill me even post mortem." Gaara helped Lee stand.

"What is that?" Lee asked looking at where Shukaku had once laid. There was a long shiny arrow.

"That is an instrument used to kill him I would suppose," Gaara said looking that shiny arrow, he walked over to it and picked it up, wincing as pain shot through his entire nervous system, but he showed it to Lee. "It is called a Holy Armament, a weapon used by angels to banish our kind back to Hell, but since we are in Hell I would only surmise that it would kill one of us if it was used here." He dropped it into Lee's hand and the chili-bowl cut young man weighed it, it was longer than his arm and definitely not hollow. Someone would have to have a lot of strength to be able to even position an arrow like this, let alone to shoot it.

"Gaara," Kankuro's voice called from the other room. "you're supposed to go speak to the families in Opaque today on Orochimaru's behalf,"

His siblings had been given up to Shukaku as well, but he chose the babe of the group to torture, Shukaku wondered what would develop from a child who had known nothing but death his entire life, and for a while Gaara had been the perfect product. An efficient killing machine, so emotionally fragile that he had finally cut off all ties to feeling anything.

Gaara walked into the room, Lee dropping the arrow and following behind. Kankuro wasn't wearing his ridiculous mask of make-up today, something he said he wore to scare his enemies, and without it Lee could actually see family resemblance.

"I have nothing to say," Gaara said.

"I am sure you will be fine, Gaara-kun!" Lee smiled feeling more like himself after the initial shock of seeing and smelling a dead demon, then watching his lover absorb it.

"Maybe you can help him with some lines when we get to the caravan," Kankuro suggested.

"Yosh!" Lee said taking Gaara's hand in his own. "I shall help you write a moving passage that will stir all the wayward souls of this godforsaken place!"

"You really are way too happy," Kankuro said ushering them out of room and to the awaiting caravan and shaking his head.

* * *

They were covered in sweat and other bodily liquids when they were finally done, an hour and a half later. If he hadn't just had the best sex of his life Sasuke would have been upset at Naruto, his chest was still rising and falling rather rapidly and he wasn't sure where his pants had gotten to, but he'd need to find them ASAP.

"Dammit Naruto," He said kissing the boy. "what part of enough didn't you understand? What we did was very illegal."

"What's so illegal about it? I think it should be against the law not to do it whenever you can."

"That's not the point, dobe." He stood up to the best of his abilities, every time he moved he convulsed in pleasure, Naruto had been very thorough with him. "And don't think you'll ever get 'a turn' like that ever again."

"Oh come on," Naruto was smiling. "You enjoyed it, or you wouldn't have been yelling so loud." Sasuke's eyes went wide, he'd lost himself there for a moment.

"How loud was I yelling?" He asked slightly afraid.

"Well, at one point I heard your mom say something along the lines of she was leaving," Naruto thought. "And that brown haired girl said something but I don't remember, Sakura laughed when she said it though.

"Shit," Sasuke's hand hit his face and he kept it there. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit." He mumbled into his hand. "Damn it why am I acting like some nympho all of a-sudden?"

"I tried to warn you," Naruto said watching Sasuke find his pants and button them, he did the same with his own, and even got the zipper done without getting caught in it. "Anything you feel for me is going to be radically multiplied, you aren't going to be able to handle it."

"I'm an Uchiha," Sasuke said pulling on a shirt since his was torn to pieces. "We can handle anything."

"If you say so," Naruto smiled.

"Gather everything up," Sasuke instructed. "We'll have to pay—" His phone began ringing, he looked down at it and sighed flipping it open. "Hello mother," He said trying to sound cheery.

"You know at first I thought you had gotten lost," Mikoto said on the other end, and Sasuke could just picture her filing and buffing her nails nonchalantly. "Then the obscene yelling began, I had to bribe security not to come back there and kick you two out, all of the things that Naruto had are paid for now by the way, I left the receipt with the clerk, you're free to leave when you can pull your dignity together."

"Mother I—"

"You're a young, virile man. No matter how much I wish you were my child still you are not, and that idea is becoming more and more accepted in my mind, I went through the same thing when Itachi started bring random women and men into our home." She paused. "But you could have had some self restraint, but I'm the old preaching to the young I suppose."

"I am truly sorry you had to witness that," He said apologetically.

"It is human nature, my son, you are attracted to that young man, he is attracted to you, and what those poor customers heard was the result of that." Mikoto's voice grew thoughtful. "I wonder if those poor little boys who came running out of there were scarred?"

Sasuke's face went plum and his eyes landed on a grinning fox.

"Anyway, I am calling to see if you and Naruto an pull yourselves away from each other long enough to come see your great uncle, we're going to have dinner at the house tonight and I know he would love to see you."

"Sure mom, anything." Sasuke agreed.

"At least I know I can't leave you two alone together now, that's a mistake I won't be making again." She laughed. "But you sounded like you were enjoying it."

"What's that mom?" Sasuke asked. "I can't hear you you're breaking—" he hung up the phone. Very embarrassed. "Well," He said after a few minutes. "The good news is that she wasn't disgusted."

"See, your mom understands, now if you could just get with the program."

"I'm glad we just got you some news clothes, dobe, we've got a dinner date." Sasuke smiled picking up the bags, the dressing room was back to normal for the most part, and though he was limping Sasuke was the least bit happy that he hadn't offended the woman that was constantly reminding him that she gave birth to him.

They left the establishment getting quite a few stares, Sasuke knew they wouldn't be able to show their faces in this particular store for a good while, two years would be appropriate. They climbed into his car, he opened Naruto's door for him and they drove back to his home.

When they got back Sasuke was more than surprised to see his brother's car sitting in the parking lot, of course Itachi's car was much sleeker, much more advanced than his own, and that was saying a lot.

"That guy looks a lot like you," Naruto surmised when they pulled in.

"Yeah, I get that a lot since he's my brother, dobe." Sasuke said. The clouds gathered over head, there was a hard rain coming, Naruto could smell it. "Oi, aniki, what are you doing here?"

"I simply stopped by to pay you a visit, brother." Itachi smiled, he was dressed smartly in all black, except for his purple fingernails. "Is this the urchin you rescued?"

"Who the hell you callin' an urchin, pal?!" Naruto growled.

"Calm down dobe, that's just how he is." Sasuke said, his eyes narrowing at Itachi. "He's just a bit of a jackass is all."

"Now is that anyway to treat your loving aniki, Sasuke? Aren't you going to invite me in? Perhaps show me some of your _lovely _artwork?"

"Why are you really here Itachi?" Sasuke asked already fed up with his brother.

"Sasuke, tell me something, what do you know about your eternal soul?"

"I wouldn't say I knew much, you know I don't believe…" He stopped and looked at Naruto, something clicked in his mind. "I don't think about it, but even a good person can be sent to Hell I suppose."

"Hmph, little brother good people don't go to Hell, they go to Heaven, which isn't much better." Itachi walked forward, his long tailored coat whisking behind him. "Let's go inside shall we?"

Sasuke led the way, Itachi's eye rose at Naruto, the boy had a familiar aura about him.

"You're wrong you know," Naruto said walking in to the room behind Sasuke. "Some people don't have a choice but to go to Hell."

Itachi smirked at the young blond man. "Is that right?" He asked. "And what would you know about Hell?"

"What are you on about Itachi?" Sasuke asked silencing Naruto.

"Brother, Uncle Madara and I have a proposition for you when you come by for dinner later tonight, we might even be able to squeeze your little boyfriend into it as well. There is something in this family's history you should know."

"Just what might that be?" Sasuke asked.

"Come to dinner later tonight, brother, you will find out then. I was not going to stop by long, thanks for the hospitality." He smiled and Naruto knew he didn't like this man then. Someone who knew nothing and yet spoke like they knew everything. He had no idea what he was talking about, spouting random religious prattle. Itachi shook Naruto's hand, and hugged Sasuke (who didn't return it) and left with a slight nod.

"Any idea what that was about?" Naruto asked.

"Not in the least," Sasuke said sitting on the couch. "but there is absolutely no way this week could get weirder."

Naruto smiled and sat next to Sasuke.

"Hey, you promised to shower with me after we were done with your mom's errands." Naruto said laying his hand in Sasuke's lap. The poor raven seemed to have trouble thinking, as if all the blood had travelled from his brain to other regions of his body.

"I'll get the towels." He said standing with the difficulty of an erection.

"And I'll get these damned clothes off." Naruto smiled deviously, triumphantly.

* * *

**Author's Notes**: Well, its been brought to my attention that I could spring for a Beta, but I don't have the best record of keeping my deadlines, as any of the other readers of my other stories can tell you (they're all quite unpleased at the fact that this is getting updated and three other stories of mine are suffering because of it) but if I can find one that won't care about my lazy style of writing, and won't change anything I put down too much unless to grammatically correct then I would be more than happy to get one.

On a last note I want to thank you reviewers, you guys are the inspiration for my current muse/love for this story, it is just too wonderful. You all are keeping this story fresh in my mind, which is why it gets updated so often! I thank you all.

Love,

Hitome-Chan


	5. Chapter 5

**Teme No Baka**

**Summary: **Naruto Uzumaki didn't NEED Sasuke, or his money, or his family but without him he'd be on the streets, without Sasuke he'd be on the run from demon-hunting "angels" and probably a bit lonely. Luckily he's got Sasuke. SasuNaru AU

**Author's Notes: **Alright so thanks to a certain author who has no idea I exist one: Poxmaker (.net/u/810095/poxmaker) I am through asking for reviews. Reviews will not define how good my story are or aren't, I think it will be the number of reads. On the other hand, I will still continue replying to the reviews I do get. I always love to thank people who take the time to give feedback.

* * *

**Chapter Five**

"You may be impoverished, you may be cold, your families may be broken up, but do not let that torment you more than your sins have! Given this situation I would say you all were a strong group, Orochimaru is rebuilding your homes as quickly as he can, and I am helping to fund these efforts." Gaara looked over the people fear, anger, hate all portrayed in each and every eye he locked onto.

Lee stood back, between Temari and Kankuro, somber since the first time either of them had seen him. He wouldn't take his eyes off of the redhead who's monotonous voice was still drawing out emotions in the jaded masses; demons, who Lee marveled at for looking so much like humans, who had lost everything, huddling children close to their chests. He tried to look strong, but his eyes were brimming with tears for them, and his heart was gushing with sadness, ironic, to be feeling sadness for demons.

"I am one of you, one of the people, but I was lucky enough to get somewhere where I can help. My lover has given me the idea of temporary shelters, ones that will not be shantytowns but actual shelters, that will provide clean drink and hot food." There was a loud cheer from the people till Gaara raised his hand over the crowd and they became silent again. "Construction has already begun, and will finish towards the end of the day, we are all doing our best, we have all lost so much, my heart is as black and useless as yours, but we will band together for now to see that we survive."

He had been speaking for the better part of that morning, a speech that Lee had written for him, impromptu, in the caravan. Gaara was not surprised by Lee's skill with the words, he just didn't want to give the speech, but he had, its what he was supposed to do. Lee had assured him that the words he had spoken were not the way he felt about him, that he didn't think he had a black heart, or that it was useless, but he was appealing to the audience, not that Gaara asked about it. He had just grunted in response and kissed the crazy browed brunet.

"You speak with such passionate fire!" Lee said smiling when Gaara came back around to them and kissed him hard on the lips. "What was that for, my love?" He asked.

"I may kiss you whenever I please, correct?" Gaara asked, had he had eyebrows one would have risen.

"Why yes you may!" Lee smirked kissing Gaara of his own accord, he loved that fact that Gaara was slightly shorter than him, of course, he only loved this fact secretly. "Wave to your audience, my love." Lee beamed. Gaara turned and swiftly raised a hand, before pushing Lee into the caravan, pulled by Hellhounds, and against the seat of it, his mouth descended on Lee's, pulling his shirt up and marking the flesh there for the millionth time.

"Oh dear," Orochimaru laughed. "Lord Gaara, you have a visitor. Me."

Gaara's head swiveled from the abdomen of his lover to Orochimaru's know-it-all smirk and he glared at him. "Get out."

"You're not still upset about the whole 'me being your master thing' are you? That was a joke! Kabuto would never let me hear the end of it if I took on another…ward." He smirked deviously. When Gaara only continued to glare Orochimaru's eye fell on Lee.

"Talk some sense into him, would you?" He asked sweetly. Lee was a sucker for kindness.

"My love, maybe you should hear him out?" Lee asked, feeling utterly embarrassed by being ravished in front of someone else.

"Do not fall prey to his looks of sympathy, underneath it all he's nothing more than a snake, a liar, deceitful." Gaara said, not lowering Lee's shirt, instead running a warm hand down the cool flesh, Opaque was farther into Hell than Metropolis had been, so it was no wonder that Lee would be cold. He sighed and relinquished Lee's shirt, turning quickly to Orochimaru. "Speak." He said forcefully. Shukaku hadn't liked the snake, and Gaara didn't either, it was just about the only thing they ever agreed on.

"I have information you might find interesting, Gaara," Orochimaru said sourly, his eyes narrow at the redhead's impudence. "On the origins of the humans who attacked us."

Gaara nodded for him to continue, he resisted the urge to pull Lee into his lap and bring them both to completion, the idea of the snake watching didn't sit right with him.

"It seems they have a bit of everything in their bloodline," Orochimaru leaned back in his seat, legs crossed, and licked his lips, sickly purple tongue much too big for his mouth. "Angel, demon, and everything in between, well, at least that is what intelligence has gathered about their leader."

"How is that possible?" Lee envied the way Gaara said that statement so coolly, he would have shouted it, screamed it. Someone with that in their family was powerful indeed, that was an understatement!

"It dates back fairly far, but it seems like there have been goings on between these humans and the Powers That Be for a while. I must admit, when a sample of the leader's blood was brought to me it was quite sweet. Like a fine aged wine, only it doesn't sour, it only continues to become more perfect." The snake sat in his reverie for a moment before he opened his golden eyes and frowned. "As for their motives, that is still unclear at this point."

"Do we know who it was?"

"That is just it, they meshed their auras together so perfectly that we cannot unravel one without the whole thing falling apart, they were obviously not mere humans."

"Not with family like that they aren't," Gaara agreed. "Anything else?"

"Yes, I am not a lap dog, young one, this is not a report, I'm relaying information to you, show me a bit more respect." And with a sneer Orochimaru was gone. Gaara sat there for a long time, his brows drawn together in concentration, even bald, before he sighed and closed his eyes. After a few moments Lee touched his arm and sky blue eye found his jet black one.

"It is troubling." He said to Lee. "To be brought back _home _at such a time, I left all of this death behind me."

"I am sorry, Gaara," Lee said taking his hands in his own. "I truly am, but I am sure we can work all of this out." He smiled at him before receiving a small frown from the red head. "Do not worry so much about it. Gaara, my heart, I am here with you this time, you never have to face anything alone with me." Lee smiled and wrapped his arms around Gaara pulling him next to him and laying them down on the seat. "Never again."

The redhead sighed before nodding, he put the things Orochimaru said out of his mind and then snuck a glance at the brunet. Suddenly something washed over him he hadn't been prepared for. "Lee, I think there is something wrong with me." Gaara said, eyes downcast, enjoying the brunet's body pressed against him.

"What is the matter?"

"My chest is tight, and there is a foreign feeling in the pit of my stomach, much like when I first met you," Gaara said disliking the discomfort. "It makes my head swim." Lee sat up and watched Gaara clutch at his chest.

"Are you in pain?" He asked concernedly.

"No." Was the simple answer. "I am warm, the world feels new, more fresh, I have never felt this before." He turned to look up at Lee and his eyes became soft. "But it is better when I look at you."

"Gaara," Lee smiled. "that is love, it can make you hurt, or feel good, that is love." He kissed him deeply. "I love you too, Gaara, my heart, my soul."

"Do not joke about that," Gaara said turning towards Lee, laying chest to chest. "Your soul is your most precious gift, something I fear I have tainted already."

"Oh my silly Gaara, my soul belongs to you. I gave it to you when I gave you my heart." That threw the red head for a loop. His eyes became pensive and he laid his head on Lee's arm, and stared at the brunet's neck for a long time. Lee had become used to Gaara withdrawing into himself a long time ago, so he used the silence as a time to stroke Gaara's hair and place light kisses on his forehead.

"Lee, why do you love me?" This time it was Lee who hadn't been ready for that question, but he only smiled endearingly.

"Because...because Gaara, you are a kind creature, you have the passions of youth in your own ways, and your flame shines brightly, I want to be in your company for always!" He told the demon, running a hand down his face. "I love you, Gaara, because you are you."

"Good." Gaara commented, stone faced. "Shukaku always said I would never find love, he said that it was pointless, that the only people who would want me would be those who wanted my power."

"Eh! Gaara, my love, I didn't even know you had power when I first asked you out I swear!" Lee told him, his eyes fiery with determination of proving his intentions, a small smile broke Gaara's face.

"I know," He told him, kissing the human again and grinding his pelvis into Lee's. "Now." He had let the small smile drop off of his lips moments ago, and in its place that apathy that the brunet saw right through, but he mewled anyway, because he knew Gaara liked it when he did, and truth be told it turned him on.

* * *

"Damn it do I really have to wear it buttoned all the way up?" Naruto fidgeted with his collared shirt, he had refused to wear the tailored jacket over it, but he looked nice regardless, even if no matter how much product Sasuke put in it the demon's hair it would not lay down.

"You look fine," Sasuke said pulling Naruto's hand away from his top button of his shirt and lacing their fingers. "Be glad I didn't make you wear the tie." He gave Naruto a quick peck on the lips before he knocked on the door. "Please, please, please try to behave yourself, Naruto."

The blond smiled. "When don't I behave, teme? You've only known me two days." And as if just to spite him Naruto slapped Sasuke on the ass, the brunet would have hounded him had the door not flung open shortly after that.

"Oh, Sasuke, the Master and Missus are waiting for you in the retiring room, please do come in." It was a hunched over old man, a thick hairbrush mustache covered his top lip making it look like his mouth didn't move when he spoke, he was dressed in black and white from head to toe, and to top it off he had a monocle. Naruto snickered at him.

"Let me guess, your name is Jeeves?" The blond asked, eyes sparkling with laughter.

"Crone, actually," Crone said. "Renaldo Crone, I have worked with the Uchiha family for many years." Oh his accent was priceless, something straight out of a Sherlock Holmes novel. "This way gentlemen, Sasuke my boy, will your servant be dining with you, or shall I bring him to the Servant's Quarters?"

"Servant—!"

"He'll be eating with us, Crone, Naruto isn't my servant, he's my boyfriend." Sasuke smiled.

"Oh, so now I'm your boyfriend?" Naruto whispered.

"Shut the hell up dobe." Sasuke retorted, squeezing his hand lightly.

Naruto thought that the monotone butler would've been surprised, or would've even raised an eyebrow, but instead all that happened was: "Very good sir," Sasuke and Naruto turned, heading down a very long hallway. "Oh, sir, Itachi has joined us already, he has requested to chef tonight." The raven groaned.

"Thanks, Crone."

Naruto decided he didn't like this house; it was obvious that Sasuke's parents were showing off their wealth with it. The high ceilings, the dark colors, Victorian styled furniture and fixtures, the lights were dimmed low, giving the atmosphere a very old feel; wait. That wasn't the atmosphere.

"Sasuke." A cold air rose over Naruto's shoulders, down his spine, something that hurt him physically, a twinge of pain in his temple when whoever this was spoke. But Sasuke smiled, not seeing that it pained Naruto.

"Uncle Madara." He said gripping hands with the man that had seemingly appeared out of the shadows. "Oh man it's been years, how are you?" Sasuke asked apparently thrilled to see the man.

"I am fine, nephew." Madara said ruffling Sasuke's hair and smiling widely, meanwhile Naruto sat back, cringing whenever he spoke. "So, who's your friend?" He asked with a toothy grin staring at the blond with intent, his cool stare sent a shiver through him, his dark brown eyes moved over the demon as if he were transparent glass.

"Oh, this is Naruto Uzumaki, my boyfriend." Sasuke said smiling at the word, he'd said it twice in five minutes and his lips were tingling, he was about to go on when Madara's hand grasped Naruto's. Strangely enough he wasn't thrown back or anything; Madara's touch was just that, a touch, a glance of skin against skin. Naruto shook his hand slowly, staring him in the face. Was the whole Uchiha clan this gorgeous? Sasuke, Itachi, Madara, and Mikoto they were unnecessarily good looking.

"Boyfriend, huh? Thought you'd grow out of that, oh well. Hello, Naruto." He hadn't let go of Naruto's hand instead he pulled him closer. "Your eyes look familiar, have we met before? Or maybe I know your parents?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed, he opened his mouth but Sasuke covered it with his hand. "Naruto is an orphan, and his last guardian died recently, it's a touchy subject, we don't talk about it." Sasuke said knowing that the blond was most smart assed when someone asked him a question he didn't want to answer.

"Sasuke, son is that you?" A warm voice called from the end of the corridor. "Come down here and talk with your mother and I." Naruto guessed it was Sasuke's father, astutely. When the raven went to grab his hand Madara stopped him.

"Go, I want to have a chat with young Naruto, see if he's good enough for my nephew." Sasuke looked to Naruto to see what he had to say about it, but the blond shooed him away.

"Go on, teme, I'll be okay, and I promised to behave remember?" He smiled sheepishly. "But if you want I could tell him you like it when I suck—"

"Alright, I'm going. Naruto, please…" Sasuke pleaded, the blond smirked and nodded, waiting for the other boy to go down the hall and meet with his father. He turned his blue eyes back on Madara, staring him down.

"Who are you?" He asked, folding his arms and frowning.

"I am Madara Uchiha, of course. The real question is, _who _are you?" Madara said, leaning against the wall. His wild mane of raven hair cast even darker shadows over his face with the dimness of the room, his tailored suit was sharp at the edges, and his Italian midnight shoes reflected moonlight.

"Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto said returning that smile and leering at him at the same time. "Of course."

"Here I was thinking you couldn't be witty, good for you." Madara smiled. "I suppose I'll discern what you are more as time goes on, you have a very human aura, but something is lying underneath it."

"I could say the same thing about you." Naruto frowned. "Look, I promised Sasuke I wouldn't start anything, so you don't mess with me and I won't mess with you. Deal?"

"Deal. Play your cards right and we might even get along kid." Madara laughed. "And by 'play your cards right' I mean if you devour my nephew I will bring a wrath the likes of which you've never seen."

Naruto paused. "…I'll keep that in mind."

"Well then come on, we'll be late for dinner if we stay here trying to gauge each other like this." He gave Naruto a small smirk before thoughtfully adding. "And keep this acknowledgement between the two of us, I want to break the news to Sasuke gently."

"Wait, Sasuke is…whatever you are?" Naruto asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Well, yes and know, the power only becomes evident once you admit to yourself that it is there." Madara leaned down into Naruto's ear, and when he spoke again the pain shot down Naruto's spine even harder than before. "Could you handle loving someone like him?" Naruto could hear the smile in Madara's voice, but he could not move. "He'll be a monster, and he'll be a saint, he'll save the world if he doesn't destroy it first. He's key to me, young Naruto, in a plan older than the age you try to hide."

"I—is your plan evil?" Naruto asked, blue pupils no larger than beads.

"Evil, malice, villainy it's all how you look at it. From my perspective it is not evil, but I suppose that depends on your definition." With that he patted Naruto on the shoulder and left the boy standing there, mouth agape.

It took a full five minutes of Naruto's mind racing before someone retrieved him from the dark hallway. "My, you _are _a bit of an idiot." Tenten laughed as she pushed him down the hallway, leading him into the family room. "I found him, standing exactly where Uncle Madara left him." She smiled brightly. "Guess I can go help Itachi finish cooking now," She said turning and going.

"Naruto, are you okay?" Sasuke asked peaking from behind the wall, he walked over and grabbed the blond by the hand. "Naruto?" A look of concern came over the raven haired boy's face, till Naruto blinked once, twice, and then began looking around.

"Teme?" He asked.

"What the heck is wrong with you Naruto? Are you not feeling well?" Sasuke said all concern turning to slight annoyance at Naruto's ignorance of his surroundings.

"It—it's nothing." The demon said with a quick smile. "Is the food almost done?"

"Naruto…" Sasuke said with firm conviction. "what was the matter?"

"Sasuke I just, do you know what you are—." Before he could continue Fugaku Uchiha walked out into the hall.

"Son, we are having dinner, join us. Bring him along with you." Fugaku said with a bit of finality they could not ignore. Naruto noticed that Fugaku wasn't so overtly beautiful as the other members of the Uchiha but he was masculine and handsome all the same. Naruto was more than a little surprised when he walked into the dining area, not because it was immense, not because everything was fashioned from a beautiful dark wood, or because there were beautiful flowers placed everywhere, but at Itachi Uchiha's pink "Kiss The Cook" apron, complete with frills.

"Close your mouth, you'll catch flies." Tenten joked.

"Dinner is served," Itachi smiled lightly, playfully, lifting a clichéd steel dome and revealing a beautiful roast peppered and seasoned to perfection, moist, succulent, two very ripened pineapple slices laying atop it. Tenten lifted other domes with more food underneath, vegetables, fruits, even rolls, buttered and brown with visible steam rising from them, and everything Naruto had just heard went out the window with the smell of this food.

"Does he usually make that sound?" Fugaku asked, referring to the whine of anxiousness erupting from the young demon's throat.

"Only when he's starving." Sasuke tried to assure as he guided Naruto to his seat.

"You're a strange one, Uzumaki did you say his last name was?" Fugaku asked.

"Yeah pop, Uzumaki." Sasuke said wishing his father would stop asking so many questions, but spooning a nice helping of mashed potatoes, carrots, and peas onto his and Naruto's plate. Naruto who was so fixated on the roast that Sasuke feared for its (already spent) life.

"You wouldn't happen to be any relation to an old family by the same Moniker, old Yodaime Uzumaki; I don't think his only son lived past child birth though." Fugaku settled his brown eyes on the blond. "You've got their hair though, and their eyes. Only Japanese family I knew with blond hair and blue eyes."

Naruto finally spoke. "I don't know anything about my birth parents, I was taken them away from them when I was very young."

"Hm, you couldn't be Yodaime's grandson anyway, I'm _sure _his only son died in childbirth, plus, that was a couple hundred years back. The only reason I can think of it is because they were obscenely rich, I bet they've still got their hands in some money somewhere." He sat back pensively.

"Father, no business at the dinner table." Itachi said removing his apron and sitting down after making sure everything was placed alphabetically and according to most aesthetically pleasing. Sasuke's hand found Naruto's under the table and he gave it an reaffirming squeeze, they stared at each other for a moment the blond with soft eyes and a softer smile, and the Uchiha with an empathy that he was sure he'd never felt before.

That is till Madara cleared his throat.

"Goodness, I just feel like a leper at this table, look at all the beautiful couples." He said with a wry smile.

"Uncle Madara, for the last time Itachi and I aren't dating, that would be…weird and gross, plus, Sasuke is the better looking one _if _I was going to choose one of the two."

"You can't have him!" Naruto yelled from his side of the table causing Mikoto to give a small laugh.

"I don't want him, you—you freakin' dobe! I was just saying…"

"That I'm more attractive than my brother?" Sasuke said with the same kind of smirk his uncle wore.

"Hm, say what you will, children, but I'll have you know that I've bedded far more people than either of you combined."

"Itachi!" Fugaku exclaimed.

"Oh calm down dear, you know your uncle always incites these riots, besides when's the last time we've had such fun during dinner?!" She smiled. "I'm just a roll away from starting a food fight!"

Fugaku cringed. The thought of food on his expensive furniture…

"Madam, I would prefer you refrained from such, it is awfully hard to get the smell of carrot juice out of this material." Crone said standing at the door as he usually did during times when the Uchiha family was gathered in one placed.

"Of course, of course. I'm just saying what fun! And such a cute love triangle."

"Love triangle?" Sasuke asked looking over from taunting Tenten.

"Mrs. Uchiha, really," The dual-bun haired, brunette girl said flustered. "I am in no way interested in Sasuke or Itachi, I mean, I find Mr. Uchiha handsome but I don't you know _want _him."

Fugaku smiled. "Thanks," He said sarcastically.

"No! Mr. Uchiha, you're like a dad to me. I mean, maybe if you weren't—and you were younger—and—oh forget it." She said exasperatedly. "Think what you will." After everyone had a good laugh at Tenten a comfortable silence settled over the diners, they ate in the silence and gave each other smiling glances. Except Sasuke's glances to Itachi, there was only less contempt there.

"Son," Fugaku said after everyone was partially finished. "I would like to take you into my study to talk to you after this wonderful meal your brother prepared."

"Oh, um, sure, Naruto and I—."

"To talk to you alone." Fugaku revised. "Naruto, would you mind terribly to wait out here?" The blond shook his head no, but Sasuke looked worried.

"What is it you want to talk about?"

"It can wait; just enjoy your meal now." Then the man gave a small smile and nod, as if saying that Sasuke wasn't in any mortal peril, and took a bite of his food. You may be wondering why, if the Uchiha's have such a vast amount of wealth, they were eating such a meager meal. Truth be told this was when they considered family the most important thing ever. Which is why there were no business calls at the table, unless it was of the utmost importance, no talk of work, just family getting along, together.

"Young man," Fugaku motioned to Naruto. "you're my son's current love interest, no?"

"I am." Naruto said with a mouth full of mashed potatoes, it had been his idea to dive into them with just his hands, but when he saw that they were using the silver utensils provided at the table he decided he would as well. Which would explain why he was using the knife to eat his potatoes, his mashed potatoes.

"I am curious, in this relationship, are you more inclined to pitch or catch?"

Sasuke nearly choked on his drink, Mikoto's eyes went wide, Itachi and Tenten both snickered, and Naruto looked utterly confused.

"Pitch and catches?" He asked. "Well, I don't remember him or me ever throwing anything at each other just yet." This remark made a very pink Sasuke slap his palm against his head before opening his mouth.

"Father, is this appropriate dinner conversation?" He asked with a bit of trepidation.

"Well of course, I mean, if you're going to have boyfriends and things I want to know which position on the team you take." Fugaku said, completely serious.

"Why does it matter?" Sasuke interjected.

"Oh it matters, now since you're so inclined to answer, why don't you?"

"I still don't know what's going on." Naruto said looking between father and son. "What does pitching and catching have to do with me and Sasuke?" Mikoto patted his shoulder and he turned to look at her.

"Don't worry about it dear, Fugaku is just being nosey!" And she elbowed him under the table.

"What father means is, which of you is the receiver when you are sexually active," Itachi highlighted.

"Itachi!" Mikoto and Sasuke both yelled.

"Oh!" Naruto said finally getting it. "Well, I think Sasuke prefers to be the giver, but when we were in the store earlier—"

"Naruto, please! Behavior…" Sasuke said clasping a hand over Naruto's mouth. "Why _does _it matter father?" He asked, trying to change the subject.

"Well son, because generally I think any father would prefer to know that his son is the provider in a relationship, be it money, or any other aspect."

"So he's proud that you're the one fuckin' me?" Naruto asked through Sasuke's slowly unclasping fingers. Sasuke's siblings were having the time of their lives, Mikoto was a bit more pink in the face than she had been before, and Fugaku was staring the blond directly in his eyes. "That's a strange thing to be proud of."

"Everyone has their vices," Itachi laughed.

"I think dinner is just about over," Sasuke said. "Crone I'll help you get the plates." But before he could move Fugaku was holding onto his arm.

"My office, now, please." The statement wasn't forceful, but Sasuke stood anyway. He followed behind his father into the man's office, he could hear Naruto's chair shuffling behind him, and he could also hear his mother coaxing the blond into staying out of father/son business.

When they stepped into Fugaku's study the man turned around and sighed. Sasuke didn't look at him, instead he looked around the room, rows of books lined the shelves, everything that was needed for the job Sasuke did not want. He listened to his father pour himself a glass of who knows what, and sit down in his chair that creaked comfortably under his weight. Fugaku took a swig of his liquor and the turned hard eyes on his youngest son.

"What the hell?" He asked, before taking another sip. "That Uzumaki kid has no manner, he's crude, he's loud, and I don't think he is all there." Fugaku said, not moving his gaze. "How long have you known the kid?"

"Father it's not—"

"Answer the question, how long have you known him? Three days? Not a even a week and you've taken him into your home, had sex with him, you know I would expect this kind of behavior out of Itachi, and if he wasn't so good at keeping our figures up he'd've been gone a long time ago. But not you Sasuke."

"You don't know him." Sasuke pleaded.

"And you do? Three days and you know him? Know that he doesn't have any sexually transmitted diseases, or that he's a mindless killer? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I did not come to visit you, Father, to be lectured like a child. I'll have you know that in fact Naruto has no diseases, his story checks out completely, and I realize that all of this," Sasuke motioned around to the niceties of the home. "has made you forget that there are still some people out there who need help but I like Naruto, that should be enough for you, hell give me a month or two and I might even love him."

"He's obviously a moocher, Sasuke, a leech. He knew who you were, who your father is, where you family comes from. People can buy identities nowadays, he is playing you for a sap, for an idiot, and I will not have any son of mine toyed with."

"I stopped being your son the moment you laughed at me for wanting to be an artist."

Fugaku's face fell and his eyes became as thick as glass, reflective, hard. He drained what was left in his small tumbler glass and listened to the hollow sound of the ice clink before standing up.

"Then you and your filth can get the fuck out of my house, queer." The man was close, Sasuke could smell the strong alcohol on his breath, watched his father's left eye twitch in restraint, and even heard his teeth grinding. He turned to leave and looked behind his shoulder.

"Oh, and I do fuck Naruto, but the other day he pounded my ass good, because that's what you think all _queers _talk like isn't it? Father?" He smiled wryly, and walked back into the dining hall, his father not too far behind in tow. Tapping Naruto on the shoulder he helped the boy up and kissed him hard on the lips, before the blond could ask why he'd done that Sasuke shook hands with Madara and gave his mother a kiss. "Come on, dobe. We've got to go."

"Sasuke, what's going on?" Mikoto asked looking worried.

"Ask your husband, it was lovely to see you mother. See you later, Tenten. Itachi, kindly burn in Hell, won't you?"

"I'll do my best brother, I love you too." Itachi smiled, before taking a small sip of wine.

"Mr. Uchiha what happened?" Sasuke heard Tenten ask, the slight jest in her voice lost at seeing his and Naruto's retreating form, Fugaku's mumbled voice gave a sloppy answer. The old butler brought both their jackets and when they finally stepped into the misty night air Naruto turned concerned blue eyes on him.

"I'm sorry." He said, bathed in the low porch light, looking very solemn.

"For what?" Sasuke smiled, and gave him another, smaller, kiss.

"I heard everything, Sasuke, you and your dad had a fight, you don't have to pretend like it didn't happen. Why did you stand up for me? Sasuke I'm no good for you, I—I wanna be selfish here, fuck, I know I do, but hearing you say those things. It's too much."

"Naruto, I want to be with you, no one, not my father, not my mother, not even my uncle could do anything about that." But the demon pulled back from Sasuke's kiss at the mention of his uncle.

"Sasuke—"

"There you are nephew. You left in such a hurry I thought perhaps you had wounded your father." Madara Uchiha stood a couple of feet higher than them, sitting on the low hanging part of the roof top.

"Uncle?" The man, who was actually well into his fifties, late sixties, jumped from the roof and landed solidly in front of the two of them.

"Sasuke Uchiha, son of Fugaku Uchiha, grandson of Senju Hashirama, great-grandson of Rikudou Sennin, have you figured out what you are yet?" Madara's eyes glowed in the dim light, spirals of red were running through them, spinning like wheels rapidly.

"Get behind me, Sasuke!" Naruto yelled, growling loudly.

"Hmph, you have no power, little deviant, I still don't know what you are, but you seem to be sealed, and it is for the better." Madara's smile sent a chill down Sasuke's spine. How did he know that? "Sasuke, you are a third generation hybrid."

"A—a what?" Sasuke asked, Naruto looked behind him and there stood Itachi in the doorway.

"A little bit of everything, baby brother." He said, eyes the same as Madara's. Spinning wheels.

"He…no. You guys were the ones who attacked Hell." Naruto said looking around.

"Oh! You must be the little fox." Madara said laughing. "You were quite something, I knew we met before."

"What the fuck is going on?!" Sasuke yelled. He was looking at Naruto pleadingly, but the demon was grabbing his chest, it was getting harder and harder to focus, and his vision was blurring.

"Sasuke, in time you will realize what you are, what we are. Your father shirked his power, became human, but he could not stop from passing it on, and you will join us Sasuke, you won't be able to help it. We're the only ones who understand you." Madara's eyes spun even more quickly. "When you begin changing you will know how to find us."

"Naruto!" It was Lee's voice…but how did Lee find them?

"Fox demon, get over here, bring the human!" Gaara said quite loudly, not quite a yell, but too loud to be speaking. Naruto didn't know where they were exactly, but he grabbed Sasuke's hand and ran past Madara who's predatory gaze followed after them. Itachi looked as if he were about to jump when his great uncle made a motion for him to stop.

"Let them go," He said, turning to go back into the house. "Fugaku may not have his memory, but his powers were strong, and they should begin manifesting in Sasuke soon enough, like they did in you."

"Should I contact the others?" Itachi asked.

"Not yet, it's still family time you know, no business during family time." They both smiled and retired into the large house, closing the door lightly behind them.

**Author's Notes**:

Love,

Hitome-Chan


	6. Chapter 6

**Teme No Baka**

**Summary: **Naruto Uzumaki didn't NEED Sasuke, or his money, or his family but without him he'd be on the streets, without Sasuke he'd be on the run from demon-hunting "angels" and probably a bit lonely. Luckily he's got Sasuke. SasuNaru AU

**Author's Notes: **Really really sorry this took so long, for some reason isn't working properly on my laptop (someone help me!) but I got this chapter up, sorry for the grammatical mistakes and what not, please enjoy.

**Chapter Six**

Running. They were running so fast! Sasuke's lungs burned as they found their way deeper into the woods to a place he'd never been before, but they didn't stop there, they just kept running. The woods became a forest, and the forest became a jungle. Dark and foreboding, repulsively black, every tree, every squawk of the birds, chatter of the creatures on the floor, it all seemed so horribly evil. Sasuke could only make out Naruto's form as they kept running, Gaara and Lee's voices calling to them, but they never saw a hair of either of them.

Then it broke. The line after line of trees was no longer all he saw, but a gate, a gate of equally evil proportions, sinister and tall and though there was a lock on one of the doors it stood wide open. There was no talk, Naruto looked determined to make it to that place, and he had a deathly grip on Sasuke's hand, all the brunet could do was follow behind. He caught a flash of red and a hint of green and his hopes rose a bit more. Gaara and Lee were waiting on the other side of the gate.

He and Naruto made finally crossed the border and they stopped. Sasuke heaved and drew in breath, and heaved again. His chest rose and fell so hard he thought his lungs might collapse.

"So Sasuke's family is the one we've had trouble with?" Gaara asked, looking for confirmation from Naruto.

"Yeah…it looks like it. But the bastard didn't know anything about it! You can't say he was helping that jerk of an uncle of his." The blond stated.

"Calm yourself, Naruto, your accounts are held in high opinion now that you are one of the Demon Lords," Gaara told him. "What's more is we know, we've been monitoring Earth for any kind of abnormal activity, no one in my department has any knowledge on hybrids, but I'm sure Orochimaru knows quite a bit about them."

"Alright," Naruto nodded. "You okay, Sasuke?" He looked back at the deeply breathing young man who nodded. "That's good. Not every human can run across Transition, that's what you call the lands between Heaven, Earth, and Hell." He smiled rubbing circles in Sasuke's back. "How'd you guys get here so quick?" Naruto asked.

"We were in Opaque when one of my siblings interrupted our love making to tell us you were in danger." Gaara answered simply, though Lee blushed.

"Oh," Naruto said. "sorry about that. If you guys can just drop us off in Metropolis then we'll let you get back to it!"

"Certainly." Gaara said ushering them into carriage. "I'm afraid that Metropolis is still under construction, Sasuke's relatives were rather reckless." Gaara's sky blue eyes found the young man whom he'd spoken to him quite a few times when he was vacationing in the human world, but he had never guessed that Sasuke possessed such a gift. It was a power hidden deep inside.

Speaking of Sasuke, he had been quiet till this point in time. When they finally stopped his mind had caught up with everything that had happened thus far. His uncle and his brother…what were they? Those eyes, that power.

"Hey, uh, Gaara, do you know anything about removing seals?" That brought Sasuke out of his reverie; Naruto was showing Gaara the seal. "The damn thing is so constricting."

"There is the great Toad Sage," Gaara recounted as the hounds began speeding towards Metropolis.

"Oh yeah! Pervy Sage! I didn't know he could do that kind of stuff." Naruto laughed.

"There are a lot of things you don't know then, Naruto." Gaara said with a small smirk.

"Who is this Toad Sage guy?" Sasuke asked, thoughts no longer dwelling on what had happened, it was no use wondering and driving himself crazy. He was an Uchiha! He had more guff than that, he was born and bred to take on all surprises!

"Oh, Jiriya, he is a third of the High Council." Gaara explained. "The other two are Tsunade and Orochimaru, though that snake somehow got made a Demon Lord as well."

"What are the differences between the two?" Sasuke continued to ask.

"Oi, Teme, you're going to annoy Gaara-kun." Naruto deadpanned.

"It's fine, Uzumaki, we need him to know as much as possible so when we test his powers and exact revenge we know what we're up against." That struck Sasuke, but he had to wait for Gaara to finish speaking. "The Demon Lords, as I believe Naruto has explained to you, are the product of a great demon, he was much too powerful so much so that Lucifer had to divide him into ten separate entities. Whereas the High Council of Hell are the three most skilled beings in Hell, their collective wisdom and abilities make them valuable assets."

"I see," Sasuke said sitting back in his seat. "And exactly what did my uncle and my brother do here? How did they even get here?"

"That is what we intend to find out, through you. Sasuke you don't know what a hybrid is do you?" Gaara asked.

"Well, I mean I know the terminology, but I guess not in this case." The raven answered.

"A long time ago there was a group of angels who, well, they soiled themselves and gave into lust. With demons." The redhead told him. Gaara wasn't a fan of speaking this often and Lee just knew that he would be very silent the next few day, that would kill the poor boy who so liked to hear him speak.

"I thought angels couldn't commit sins,"

"Not so, they have more free will than any creature, even more than us demons who are bound to obey anything our superiors say. Angels exercise restraint because they value their position in their Lord's eyes."

"But what does this have to do with my family?" Sasuke asked, his eyebrows going up.

"From the spawn of those two entities mated with a human, and the cycle continued, those offspring with demons, the next with angels, a quasi-unified front of genetic proportions, until you came about, there is something in the blood of the Mixed Ones, hybrids, that makes you almost irresistible to our and their kind."

"Is…is Lee a hybrid?" Sasuke asked, looking over at the strangely quiet boy.

"No." Gaara answered. "He is human, for now,"

"So if my family is what you say were are, why haven't you all been keeping up with us? Watching us? Making sure we didn't do anything? And what did we do anyway?" Naruto sighed, he knew Sasuke would have questions, the blond really didn't know much of this either, but the bastard was asking far too many things. Though that thought could've from the fact that when Naruto did the same thing people generally told him to shut up.

"Your family did that," Gaara pointed to the upcoming city known as Metropolis. Staring back at him was the half built, but still very destructively bashed dark city. Sasuke stared in disbelief at all the wreckage. "As for why we didn't watch you, it would seem someone took the careful measure of hiding your energy patterns. We could not find you."

"Why would Uncle Madara do this?" Sasuke asked himself, looking around.

"Speaking of finding people, I have to find that old pervert Jiriya so I can get this damned seal off!"

"Did someone say Jiriya?" In a puff of smoke one of the most flamboyant beings Sasuke would ever meet appeared hopping forward on one leg. "Glad to see you're looking for me kid!" This new person swiveled his long and spiky snow white hair in a circle.

"Haha! Perverted Sage!" Naruto smiled seeing the man.

"Hey kid! I thought I told you not to call me that!" The Jiriya guy yelled.

"Eh? Sorry about that. Hey, pervy sage, can you remove this seal for me?" He lifted his shirt, showing the "sage" his seal.

"You get right to the point don't you, Naruto? Brash as always." Jiriya laughed. "But I'll have a look at it, after a good meal anyway." Sasuke stared at the scene; it was strange how this Jiriya just sort of popped up like he was summoned.

"That's because Naruto summoned him." Gaara answered Sasuke's thoughts.

"What?" The raven asked.

"Demons can call other demons, especially when in Hell, or they can lock onto their energy and go to them." Gaara said, nonchalantly.

"How did you—"

"Your pensiveness and readiness to ask questions was conflicting, I took it upon myself to answer what you were thinking. That is all." Sasuke only gaped open mouthed at Gaara, whose eyes were now surveying how much of Metropolis had been rebuilt. Not a lot, but it was a start.

"Can all demons read thoughts?"

"Not all, but I would keep some topics off my mind if I were you, Sasuke Uchiha." The redhead said, not turning his gaze back. "No, Naruto cannot, before you ask."

"So how about a meal then? None of that stuff Kyuubi fed you, I'm talking real food." Jiriya smiled, but the look on Naruto's face at the mention of his ex-mentor dropped it from his face. "Oh. Right. Sorry about that, look let me make it up to you, come on." He put his hand behind Naruto's back and motioned for Sasuke to follow as well. "I take it you're with him."

Sasuke nodded. As they began walking he looked back at Gaara and Lee. "Aren't you guys coming too?" He questioned.

"This is as far as we take you, but we'll see you soon, Sasuke." Gaara answered. He closed the carriage door and the hellhounds bounded forward. They walked for a few minutes in silence before the Toad Sage opened his mouth.

"He's scented you, by the way." Jiriya smiled sly at the brunet.

"Scented me?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah, superimposed his scent over yours, you're undetectable to me really, all I can smell is Naruto on you." The raven blushed fiercely.

"How the hell did you mark me?" Sasuke asked, rapping his knuckles across Naruto's head.

"Eh! Teme, you don't understand! Down here they'll try to steal you from every angle," Naruto said, putting both hands up in defense.

"That doesn't tell me how you did it, dobe." Sasuke said staring at him with a distant look.

"Well, remember in that thing call a shower and how we were fuckin—"

Sasuke's eyes went wide. "Yes! Just say when we were taking a shower! God Naruto!"

Naruto flinched, Jiriya looked on with a bit of restraint at that name. "Sasuke, calm down," Jiriya said with a smile. "I don't know if the kid told you or anything, but he's a particularly special case, were as the Big Man upstairs could care less about say me, He's a bit more upset with beings like Naruto, who were given up for demonhood."

"But Naruto didn't ask to be a demon." Sasuke looked at the blond, who wouldn't meet his eyes.

"There's sort of a zero tolerance policy about these things, Sasuke my boy." Jiriya told him.

"You're not mad about being scented are you?"

The Uchiha only sighed. "It's fine, Naruto, but the least you could do is tell me these things."

"And risk you saying no?" Naruto grinned broadly. "I'd rather take my chances." He said, lacing his fingers with Sasuke. Jiriya smiled to himself as he watched the two of them, then he realized they'd made it.

"Here we are my temporary home sweet home." He motioned to the building, it wasn't as dilapidated as the rest of the houses around, in fact it was in ship-shape compared to them. It just had no décor, nothing. Just a structure with an entrance, and more that lie inside. "Well go in, it's not much, but it's all we can spare at the moment."

"Perverted Sage, why are you in Metropolis?" Naruto asked as they entered into his abode. The inside was just as plain as the out, but there were two rooms, both of which had beds, and a small living area.

"Orochimaru can't do it all by himself kid," Jiriya informed, pulling back a curtain to let light into the room. The living area had one window, a couch, and an old reclining chair. "Now come over here, take your shirt off."

Naruto obliged and stood before Jiriya with his arms at his sides, Sasuke couldn't help feeling a twinge of jealousy as he watched the more elderly man feel around Naruto's stomach. The brunet crossed his arms and watched on in silence.

"Hm, complicated seal," the Sage said. "but nothing I can't handle," His hand began glowing a warm light blue, he reared his arm back and brought his fingers hard into Naruto's abdomen. The victim let out a yelp of pain as the seal on his stomach began twisting and twirling. Jiriya pinched his index and thumb fingers together and the ink of the mark began peeling away, one roll at a time till finally all there was was Naruto's bare skin.

Sasuke watched on in amazement. Jiriya had literally just peeled what he had thought was a tattoo off of Naruto, and to make it even more impressive it was all whole.

"Phew! Thanks Pervy—" Jiriya caught the boy before he collapsed to the ground.

"Guess I should've told him, with his energy and chakra in normal flow again he'd pass out." The man laughed. "Go sit him on the bed in the left room, the right one is mine." Sasuke nodded and pulled Naruto into his arms, always marveling at how light and warm the boy was. He laid the blond down on the bed and got the urge to kiss both of his eyelids, so he did. Then he ran a hand down the sleeping boy's cheek.

Jiriya cleared his throat. "The allure has already set in I see." He watched from the doorway.

"What? The allure?" Sasuke asked.

"Come to the living room and have a seat, I'll tell you a little about demons, and about Naruto." He followed behind the white haired man and took a seat on the couch while Jiriya, in all his immaculate dress, sat in the humble recliner. "What all has Naruto told you about us?" He asked the boy right off.

So Sasuke told him everything he knew and the Sage nodded on and on as he went.

"At least he didn't keep you in the dark," Was the verdict. "But from the way you tell it I don't think you believe half of what he told you."

"I…I didn't." Sasuke admitted. "But he was very persuasive in me keeping him around."

"He had sex with you, you mean." Jiriya corrected. Sasuke blushed but nodded all the same. "Look, Sasuke, Naruto doesn't know it, or at least doesn't know the full extent of it. He's not a succubus, or even the male equivalent, but he holds a very special power in himself. The power of attraction, and now that you have laid with him I don't know whether it is that power or if you truly love him."

"I—I mean I'm not in love with him." The brunet said. "And I know he doesn't love me,"

"You would be surprised." Jiriya said. "Naruto has never known a lot of things, he irrational, he's a loud mouth, and he's stubborn. But believe me, once he meets you, on some level he loves you." Jiriya sat back in his chair and Sasuke could just imagine him with a pipe in his mouth. "Either way, treat him accordingly. My wrath is bad enough, but he is precious to quite a few beings here in Hell,"

Sasuke only nodded.

"Now, as for you." Jiriya said. "How is it that you came to know of your origins? Who revealed what you are?"

"My uncle," Sasuke said.

"And his name?"

"Madara." Jiriya went slack jawed and pale at that name.

"Did you say…Madara?" He asked, the Uchiha nodded. "Why didn't I see it before, the hair, the eyes, even your facial shape. Madara." This time when he said the name it was with dark conviction.

"You know my uncle?" Sasuke asked, only staring at the hatred in Jiriya's eyes.

"Know him? I've done battle with him many times before. Along with half of the warriors of Hell. Your uncle single handedly defeated three of the ten Demon Lords on his own." Sasuke's eyes went wide this time. "He and his nephew, Fugaku,"

"Fugaku is the name of my father," Sasuke said, he had planted himself deeply into the chair. "But…Itachi was the one who was with uncle."

"Fugaku gave up his power, a long, long time ago when he met a young girl. He wanted to be mortal and be with her. We don't really have a lot of knowledge on you hybrids, but apparently the genes can still pass down. Itachi you say?"

"Yeah, that's my brother."

"Well then, that only presents a further problem. If Itachi is working with Madara and a group of others then we may well be doomed."

"A group of others?" Sasuke asked.

"There were several others with them." Jiriya informed him. "Each of them wielding a different weapon. I'm sure there was some semblance for each weapon they had, but it was probably more of a ruse for furthering our belief that they were Angels."

"What made you believe that?"

"Well, the wings on their backs were what led me to the conclusion, but who knows, kid, who knows." The Toad Sage snapped. His eyebrows drew together apologetically. "Sorry, look, we weren't prepared for anything like that. I have no idea how they got into Hell, let alone how they gathered Celestial weapons, weapons wielded by Holy peoples, and I strong believe that if they were to attack again we wouldn't stand a chance."

Jiriya sighed heavily.

"That's why I put up a flag of truce between Heaven and Hell; I'm going to ask for help on this one." He said solemnly.

"But I thought you said that God didn't care about the beings in Hell." That same look of protuberance drew on Jiriya's face. "I—I'm sorry. Does it bother you if I say His name too?"

"Not so much as it is annoying. I can say God. I can curse Him if I so chose. It only pains Naruto on the surface world; down here he just has the same reaction because he's so used to the pinpricks that name brings about." The white haired man conjured a drink in his hand. It was a dark umber, and he took the shot directly to the head. "It's not God I'm calling the truce with, it's the Angels. They're concerned over how that guerilla group obtained their weapons as well."

"Why would they care? Can angelic weapons hurt Angels?"

"Can guns hurt humans?" Jiriya laughed. "A weapon is still a weapon kid. Granted it won't be as life threatening as if say, I were to impale one of those perfect, preening, know-it-alls with a sword imbued with demonic energy either. But I'm sure it still hurts a hell of a lot."

Sasuke nodded, and then covered his mouth as he began yawning.

"Go on in there and get some sleep, I'll wake up both later for that meal I promised you." Jiriya gave him a warm smile, "when you wake up I'm sure Tsunade'll have stopped by. She won't care to meet you, but her assistant Shizune is always cordial."

The brunet would have argued as Jiriya shooed him out of the living room and into bed with Naruto, but he could hardly keep his eyes open now. How late was it? If there was a sun in Hell he hadn't seen it yet. He closed his eyes as he felt Naruto's arm wrap around him. So the blond loved him to some extent? That made him smile and he curled an arm around the warm demon, literally laying where sleeping dogs lie.

* * *

Orochimaru's eyes were used to the dark. Kabuto's on the other hand were adjusting. His golden pupils glittered in the dark, staring into the masked face of Madara Uchiha.

"You're sure they didn't see what you look like?" Kabuto asked.

"Well, I look a bit like my youngest nephew." Madara replied from behind his mask. "If I just go traipsing through the streets of Opaque, or Terror Falls, or even Metropolis anyone who's seen Sasuke will know me."

"How true," Orochimaru replied. "But you don't need to make a journey the boy will come find you on his own if what you say is true."

"Once the power starts to set in more he will crave it, want to unlock it further, and he knows that I am the only one who has the key to do so."

"Little brother is ever so stubborn though," Itachi laughed jovially.

"Why do we need the punk anyway?" Deidra asked through his mask. "We're more than powerful enough on our own."

"But Sasuke is a valuable asset." Madara reminded. "Think of him as a trophy, if the other team has him and we don't then they are better."

"And our deal?" Orochimaru asked. "I allow you free roaming and untold destruction in Hell, and you set me free from my prison there."

"Set _us _free, my lord." Kabuto interjected.

"Kabuto, you are part of me, it is understood. Now do not interrupt again." Kabuto nodded.

"Yes, yes." Madara said, smiling freely behind his mask. "And you will supply us the demonic weapons and energies needed to raid Heaven as well?"

"Of course, Kabuto?" Orochimaru looked over his shoulder at the circular rimmed man. Kabuto nodded and conjured a vicious looking sword. Orochimaru grabbed it by its blood red hilt, the black blade shimmering midnight in the darkness. "These can be transformed into anything you so choose, gun, blade, explosive. Just be careful, handling demonic energy is quite a bit harder than its opposite."

"Understood." Madara said, though he already knew that little detail. "Well then, we shall away. Till next time, Lord Orochimaru." And in a puff of smoke the group of masked, robed assailants was gone.

"Lord Orochimaru do you trust them?" Kabuto asked as soon as they were gone.

"No." Orochimaru smiled, pearly white teeth glinting in the lack of light. "but they do not trust me either. And why should they? We will simply use one another till our goals are completed. If mine is before their own they know I will double cross them, and vice versa."

"That is a mad and dangerous game you play, my lord."

"But isn't it fun?" Orochimaru laughed, settling in his chair as Kabuto brought the lights up a bit more. He liked his meetings with that group to be cloaked in mystery, he wasn't dealing with any real danger, not in his mind, it was but a bout of fun.

* * *

"That's the hybrid?" It was a woman's voice. But it wasn't musical or anything like that. Actually it was quite rough, war worn, and a bit sultry, all mixed together. It made for a strange effect.

"Yes, he's not bad. But I wonder what will happen when _it _starts taking over." Jiriya spoke.

"We'll have to see. The last hybrid almost made it to where there was no need for an apocalypse." The woman gave a dark chuckle. "That would have been a sight."

"Lady Tsunade! That's not something you should joke about!" So if the other woman was Tsunade then this had to be Shizune, the assistant.

"Hmph. How long have you been awake kid?" Tsunade asked, sitting on the bed. Sasuke felt her small amount of weight dip the foot of the bed and he decided it was time to stop acting sleep.

"Long enough." He said opening his eyes and getting an actual glimpse at Tsunade. She was…gorgeous. He hadn't been expecting that. White-blonde hair parted directly down her forehead leaving two longs bangs on opposite sides of her head, a small green diamond prominent in the middle of said forehead, warm brown eyes staring at the world around her, milky white skin, and a more than ample bosom, coupled with a petite waist and the slightest bit of hip. He watched her rouged lips part when she began speaking.

"Never pry," She chided. "you may hear something you don't like. Wake the dumbass up and we can get going."

"Going?" Sasuke asked, eying Shizune now, she wasn't unattractive, but compared to her boss she was a bit plain. Short cropped dark hair, brown eyes, a kind, but forgettable face, and a small bust that was almost nonexistent. The one thing that set her apart from say the furniture was a small pink pig nestled in her arms.

"Yes, going. Leaving. Exiting. To…to not be staying." Tsunade said, folding her hand under her chest.

"Where are we going?" Sasuke asked defensively.

"To Kyuubi's lair. Naruto has to absorb the Nine-tails' aura so he can become a full Demon Lord. We're his escort."

Sasuke turned slowly, hardly taking his eyes off of Tsunade for fear that she was a wolf in sheep's clothing. There was a power to her that he just couldn't see.

"Dobe." He said softly. "Naruto, wake up."

In one glorious burst of flatulence all seriousness was dispersed from the room at sonic speed. Naruto yawned widely and mumbled something before he began dozing off again.

"Oh no you don't!" Tsunade yelled jumping up and grabbing the boy by the arms. She threw him up to the ceiling where he crashed with a loud _thud _before he crumpled back on the bed. Sasuke watched in horror, but Naruto slowly put a hand to the top of his head with both of his eyes slowly opening.

"What was that for, old woman Tsunade?" He yelled.

"Do you think you can just be so ignorantly gross when there are ladies present?" Tsunade yelled. Sasuke only stared on, that crash had sounded like it hurt quite a bit, but Naruto didn't seem very fazed except for the fact that he was awake. And rubbing his head.

"I don't see any damn ladies, I see an old woman, and a girl holding a pig, no offense Shizune."

"You brat!" Tsunade yelled, she punched the boy in the face and yet another loud sound was heard. This time it was more of a crack then a thud though.

"Enough!" Sasuke yelled, jumping between Tsunade and Naruto. "Why the hell are you abusing him?"

"It's nothing he can't take." Tsunade answered.

"Wha—what the hell? Nothing he can't take? Listen lady—"

"Sasuke, don't worry about it, Grandma Tsunade is right, this is how it is. We're just playing around."

"Playing around? Naruto you idiot it sounded like she broke your jaw!"

"That's cute," Tsunade laughed, tussling Sasuke's hair. "little boy, we're a bit harder to break than you are, even if you're a hybrid, you're still quite fragile. I could drop Naruto off the highest point in Hell, he'd bounce, probably a couple of times, but he wouldn't be hurt terminally."

Sasuke looked to Jiriya, who nodded. "It's true. We're a durable bunch." The brunet could only sigh heavily. He jumped out of the bed as Tsunade began explaining to him exactly what was going on.

"But the Pervy Sage promised to feed us!" Naruto whined.

Jiriya laughed. "I will, I was just about to begin when Tsunade came in." He assured.

"Ah, good, I could use a meal as well," The blonde woman smiled. "Shizune, go help Jiriya in the kitchen, make sure he doesn't poison us."

"Yes, milady!" Shizune nodded and was out of the room before Jiriya.

"Poison you? I've been cooking since before Naruto could walk, I'm a damn good cook." The Sage declared.

"There's a difference between cooking food, and cooking edible food. You are damn good at cooking, you always make sure its nice and done." Tsunade laughed. Jiriya grumbled.

"Hm, maybe I _will _poison your food for that woman." He said decidedly. Then a dark glint rolled around his eyes. "No, I've got an even better punishment. No alcohol for you."

Tsunade's face fell, breaking from the content laugh to utter horror. "You wouldn't."

"Oh I would, dinner's in an hour." He ducked out of the room as a high heel went flying across it, almost hitting him, but knocking out a good portion of the wall it barely missed him.

"He's pure evil if he thinks he can hoard his liquor." The light blonde headed woman snarled as she gathered her shoe and snuck off to Jiriya's liquor cabinet.

Sasuke and Naruto settled back onto the bed together. Dinner wasn't until an hour later and it wasn't like they could sneak away while the others were watching over them.

"So your seal is gone." Sasuke stated.

"Yeah," Naruto smiled. "It feels great, I feel free, like I could just run from here to The Cliffs and back." When he saw Sasuke didn't know what he was talking about Naruto expanded. "The Cliffs is where Opaque, which is a city, dips into the next ring of Hell, each ring has a Cliff till you get to the bottom."

"What's at the bottom?" Sasuke asked.

"Satan." Naruto said with a small smile. "But you know I still don't advise ever meeting him."

"Noted." Sasuke said, smiling back at him. "What was the seal…sealing?" He asked.

"My power, my ability to transform." Naruto said. "Basically the core essence of me."

"Will you transform for me?" Sasuke said quizzically, he'd seen Gaara almost turn into his tailed beast, he wondered what Naruto would look like.

"Maybe later." Naruto laughed. "I don't know how I'd feel in that form, especially since Kyuubi—" The blond stopped in the middle of his sentence. "especially since he died." Sasuke knew it would take a while for Naruto to be done grieving, and he was glad the boy could at least get that far.

"When you're ready." Sasuke told him.

"Naruto…Sasuke," It was Shizune, she walked back into the room. "How are you two holding up? I know this has to be a big adjustment for you," She motioned to Sasuke. "And with the passing of the Great Fox I can only guess as to how you're feeling, Naruto." She set the small pig in her arms down, it settled beside her feet. She was very sincere.

"I'm okay," Naruto told her truthfully. "It's just hard to swallow, knowing he's gone." She nodded, and patted his shoulder.

"I'm sure he was very proud of you." She smiled.

"That stupid fox? Nah, he hated my guts." Naruto smiled, and it was in that smile that Sasuke could see the admiration that the blond had had for his guardian, and that Kyuubi probably adored Naruto as well.

"What about you Sasuke?" She asked, directing her attention to the Uchiha.

"Well, I discovered that I'm some sort of human/angel/demon mix, my uncle, my brother, and a band of merry men are trying to destroy Hell for some reason, and I'm in said Hell, but you know what? I don't feel half bad. Just wish I knew what time it was."

"On earth? Well, I'd say it was probably somewhere near the early morning, our sun down here will be rising with the sun on Earth, granted, our is a black ball of misery and death, but it functions the same."

"Shizune!" There was a drunken slur yelled out by none other than Tsunade. "Come here this instant!" The younger woman sighed, picking up her pig and gave the two boys a small smile.

"Well that's my cue." She said exiting the room quickly.

"So you're really doing okay down here?" Naruto asked, turning his gaze on Sasuke.

"I've only been down here for a couple hours, give me a few days before I start begging to go home." The brunet laughed. "I'm joking, yes dobe, I'm doing fine. Long as you're with me I'm sure this won't be so bad, besides, I've learned a lot about you while I've been here."

Naruto blanched. "...the Pervy Sage?"

"Oh yes," Sasuke laughed. "Don't worry, it wasn't anything too incriminating."

"Tell me what he said," Naruto jumped on Sasuke, tickling his sides.

"Never!" Sasuke yelled, laughing.

"Oh you'll tell me, or my name isn't Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto laughed along with him. The tickling session lasted a good five minutes before Sasuke pulled Naruto's lips down on his own.

"He told me how truly wonderful you are," Sasuke said, kissing the boy again. Naruto blushed.

"Shut up, freakin' bastard." Naruto said, once again not meeting Sasuke's eyes, causing the raven to smile wider before he planted more kisses along Naruto's neck.

**Author's Notes**: Well I figured out how to upload to FFnet finally, they changed it up on me! Oh well, here's the latest chapter, it was sweet, if not short, but I really liked the way it turned out. Hope you did too.

Love,

Hitome-Chan


	7. Chapter 7

**Teme No Baka**

**Summary: **Naruto Uzumaki didn't NEED Sasuke, or his money, or his family but without him he'd be on the streets, without Sasuke he'd be on the run from demon-hunting "angels" and probably a bit lonely. Luckily he's got Sasuke. SasuNaru AU

**Author's Notes: **Update. I have no web, this is sad but true, updates will be far and few, but stay with me if you please, I want to get more chapters up when I can. Your reviews mean a lot to me and I want to thank you all for the feedback, I'm glad some of you are enjoying it! Love you guys!

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

A knock on the door. Fugaku answered it, his eyes red from sleep, and his mind muddled with thoughts of his sons. Both of them in Hell. Actual, literal Hell. Memories from a long time ago wafted through his mind, a time ago when he wasn't exactly human, a time when he enjoyed the destruction and bloodshed more than he enjoyed waking up in the morning staring into the face of his beautiful wife.

There was that knock again. "I'm coming, I'm coming." He said irritably, yawning; he'd just gotten out of bed. When he opened the door a man with white hair and two different colored eyes stared back at him with a smile. "What can I do for you?" Fugaku asked, staring at him. Behind him a darker man, he had jet black hair with streaks of dark brown and clear coffee colored eyes.

"We're looking for Sasuke and Naruto," The white haired man said, pearly teeth even brighter than his hair. "My name's Kakashi, this is Iruka, you can call him Dolphin," Kakashi said patting Iruka on the shoulder.

"Kakashi…" Iruka warned giving the sly white hair man a look that meant several things, but mostly that he wasn't happy.

"He gets jealous if I let other people call him Dolphin, I guess Iruka will just have to do." Kakashi laughed, though that didn't seem to be what Iruka meant because now he was not only glaring at Kakashi, but he was blushing furiously as well.

"What do you want with my son?" Fugaku asked, he'd given Crone the day off, the poor butler hadn't had one of those in what was nearing ten years. But Fugaku hated answering the door, it was always the annoying people who seemed to stop by.

"Oh? Sasuke's you're son? You must be Fugaku." Kakashi said, his smile dropping off his lips. "May we come in, Hybrid?"

* * *

"Hi there Sasuke! Naruto, um….Mr. Jiraya, and Ms. Tsunade and Ms. Shizune." Lee didn't know the latter three (though he'd met Jiriya), but Gaara had told them their names again and again. "My name is Rock Lee, please call me Lee."

"Lee," Shizune smiled. "There's no need to be so formal, you can just call me Shizune," She set her little pig down and shook Lee's hand. He looked a bit awed if anything, his face pinched up with the parting of his lips in a look that said something about pure joy.

"Is he okay?" Tsunade asked Gaara who was walking into Jiriya's temporary home.

"He admires strength and vitality; the fact that you could snap him like a toothpick is making him want to spar with you." Gaara shrugged. "His words."

"And that is a normal human emotion? Perhaps I have been in Hell too long," Tsunade said looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"No, that's just Lee," Gaara answered, he didn't smile, but Tsunade and Jiriya both saw something in his eyes they didn't normally, a flicker of feeling.

"I don't see the appeal of humans," Jiriya said, watching Shizune, Naruto, Sasuke, and Lee babbling on.

"You're a demon too then?" Lee was saying to Shizune with a child like sense of wonder.

"Their lives are short and they grow old too quick," He said clicking his tongue, then he realized that Naruto and Gaara were both glaring at him. "What?"

"Be that as it may, I do not wish to be without him," Gaara said. "if I must stop his aging, or his dying then I shall, and he will be mine till the sun burns out and after that."

"I'm surprised at you, Gaara." Orochimaru leaned against the door leading to the kitchen, a glass of red, red wine in his hands, he licked the rim of it before passing by the group of chattering young people and stood with his peers. "Admitting such a thing freely, your time away from this place has made you soft."

"Orochimaru!" Tsunade nearly yelled.

"No," Gaara said conceding. "He's right, I'm not as cold hearted as I was a few years back," Gaara's hard eyes bore into Orochimaru. "Do not think that this means I don't remember how to eviscerate those who make an enemy out of me, there are worse fates than dying, Snake."

"Ouch," Orichimaru laughed. "I seem to have hit a nerve."

"Look, we still have some time before the Demon Lords come together, can we try not to bare fangs and claws till then, I'm sure the blood will run hot soon enough." Tsunade said pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Yeah," Jiriya said taking a seat on his couch. "How about we do something till they get here? Any ideas?"

"A card game," Tsunade said, pulling a deck of cards out of thin air, her hand flashed over the box and the cards were bare of their container. She flicked them between her hands like a magician before taking a seat herself.

"I'll play!" Lee smiled, his eye caught by Tsunade's fast hand work. "games are the pinnacle of youthful pleasures!"

"I like him," Jiriya laughed. "Doesn't make a damn bit of sense, but no one willingly plays card games with Tsunade, even if the poor bastard doesn't know what he's getting into."

"I'll play too," Naruto said. "someone has to keep that card shark away from gambling Lee out of his soul." Sasuke's eyes went wide, but Naruto laughed at him.

"Hey," Tsunade said, bridging the cards into a steeple and flaring them back down flatly. "I'd leave his soul intact, but maybe a few hundred years of service as Shizune's assistant would help him with some kind of work ethic."

"Work ethic?" Jiriya laughed. "You wouldn't know what that was if it bit you on the ass." He made a pained face when she struck his arm, but other than that, and a small yelp he seemed fine. "Yo, Orochimaru, you playin'?"

"No thank you, I must be going." Orochimaru said. "Kabuto wouldn't know what to do with himself with me gone this long." That caused Jiriya to laugh against.

"And then we learn where your time has _really _been going," He said. "Last time I saw that kid he could hardly walk, take it easy on him."

"I'll do as I please," Orochimaru said with a grim smile. "Kabuto must learn his limits." With that Orochimaru was gone, not a trace of him left in the room, he even left with the wineglass.

"That's an image I didn't need," Naruto said, sitting down, Tsunade nodding along with him. "You in Gaara?" But the redhead only shook his head, sitting behind Lee, looking directly at Tsunade.

"What? I'm not really going to trick him into servitude," Tsunade laughed, but when Gaara's stare didn't relent she rolled her eyes. "Ok. Fine, I promise the kid'll leave this match unscathed, hey, Duck's Ass, you in?"

"What the hell?" Sasuke yelled. "My hair doesn't look like a duck's ass!" He said heatedly. "You people are freakin' sick."

"People?" Tsunade laughed. "I think you've forgotten where you've vacationed to, Tail-feather. So you in or out?"

"He's out," Naruto said before Sasuke could answer.

"I think I can make that decision, Dobe." Sasuke said, slapping the back of Naruto's head.

"Ow! Hey, if you want to end up owing her an eternities worth debt then go for it, me and Jiriya don't have anything to offer her, but you guys, well…"

"You're all no fun," Tsunade said with a smirk. "it can't be helped, I'll not steal anyone away from their beloveds, Scouts honor."

"Scouts honor my ass, the scouts would run in fear of you," Jiriya laughed.

"Keep talking and you won't be able to run from anything, old fool." She gave him a glare before beginning to deal. "How about it? A game?" Sasuke plopped down beside Naruto, working his way into the groove where the side of Naruto's torso met his hip, he did it so fluidly that hardly anyone noticed, which was saying a lot, considering the company.

"Sure, I'm not half bad at this sort of thing," Sasuke said with a purely Uchiha grin.

* * *

There are a few things you probably need to know: one, anytime there's an anomaly going on in the world the world will somehow fix it. Two: if you're a mix of human, demon, angel, and Lord knows what else you may have some strange friends and neighbors, or co-workers. Sasuke never got the chance to figure that one out. He never had too many friends, not because he didn't choose to, but in school Sasuke had been so focused on his work he never thought to make any, so when he began to become more popular with girls and a few of the male students he always just sort of brushed it off. Disregarded the weirdos, or the cool kids, he didn't discriminate.

It followed him into work, after a while he couldn't just not notice people hanging around his desk, smiling, staring down at him with such knowing eyes and a copy of smut in one hand, or when he always got stuck in an elevator with a rather moody redhead. You'll have to forgive him for not knowing things about his co-workers he didn't ask about. Sakura liked hiring people that looked good, she examined their abilities at actually working later.

"You're telling me that you two are—"

"Angels, yeah." Kakashi told him. "We probably didn't really need to make such informal introductions. Hm, take a guess as to what we're really here for then."

"You're here," Fugaku said, unwillingly falling into an old groove of looking over his interlaced fingertips that would rest in front of his face. "because you want to get my kids off of Earth, or something like that."

"Well, it'd be nice, but not quite."

"Then what the hell do you want? I'm as good as human now, have been for the past twenty some odd years."

"But your children aren't," Iruka spoke up.

"The deal was about me living on here peacefully never said anything about my children," Fugaku answered, cutting his eyes at Iruka.

"Yes well, we didn't really think that your wife would bear you sons who would in turn take up your old mantle of death and obliteration." The tan skinned, dark haired individual answered. Fugaku was quiet for a while after that, he would have offered them something to drink but he didn't know where any of the beverages (besides what was in his own cabinets) were kept, he had someone for that.

"Gentlemen, may I call you gentlemen? I know how you Heavenly beings are about gender," There was a bite hate behind those words, letting Kakashi know that Fugaku was far from being completely human.

"If you suffice, I'm a man, Dolphin is a man, for the moment at least." Kakashi kissed Iruka's cheek.

"Wait—are you two…?"

"Yup." Kakashi smiled. "Surprising isn't it? Just a bit of research, I've always wondered how human males can feel love for someone of their own gender, Iruka agreed to participate, it's actually pretty enjoyable, I might put a petition in to stay like this for a while."

"Kakashi," Iruka said with a deep red blush. "you're off topic,"

"Right, well, we're on our way to the Transition to meet Jiriya, I'm sure you've heard of him right?" Fugaku nodded, albeit very stiffly, that name sent a chill of remembrance around his heart. "Hmph, well he told me recently that they're in contact with your youngest son Sasuke,"

"If you're here to tell me where my son is, I already know."

"No, no, no, no. We're here to ask you some different questions." Kakashi's smile was a thing of wonder, and probably the reason he always wore some kind of obscuring mask around the lower half of his face, he'd been complimented on his beauty before by his Superiors.

"Then ask them and be on about your business, my wife will be up in a few hours."

"Who are the members of Madara's group? What's their plan? How are they going to do it?" Iruka asked.

"You know," Fugaku said, leaning back in his chair, his hand on the bridge of his nose. "I'm starting to remember why I don't like Angels, they want to know too damned much."

"So then you know?" Iruka asked.

"Of course he knows," Kakashi said. "He just might not be able to tell us, what can you tell us?"

"Not a lot," He sighed. "there's a ward around some things I can say, you'll have to find a better way to ask."

"Here's a question: why would you let your kids fall into the same path as you?"

Fugaku made a face, he didn't like that question, but he could answer it. He bit his tongue anyway before he opened his mouth. "They weren't supposed to be like me, I thought that there was enough human bred in me that if our kids would come out barely touched by any angel, or demon, or fairy, or vampire, or anything then they could scrape along without many supernatural bumps."

"If it's not human or an angel it's a demon," Iruka told him.

"Fairies aren't much different than Angels," Fugaku said with a laugh. "just a bit more arrogant."

"Who's off topic now, Dolphin?" Kakashi laughed.

"You know how much I dislike the fairy folk," Iruka laughed with disdain.

"Can an angel dislike anything?" Fugaku asked, a servant passed by the hallway, trying to look inconspicuous so as not to disturb. "You there, bring these men some wine, wine right?" He asked them.

"Wine's fine. And yes, we can dislike anything we want, it's hate that's the problem." Iruka told him, he wasn't much of a wine drinker, but he could go for a glass.

"Make mine a vodka tonic," Kakashi said with a smile that flustered the wandering servant, she rushed off to make the drinks.

"Well," Fugaku laughed. "an angel with good taste,"

"The Good Book says we should treat our body like a temple, my temple just likes to party." Kakashi said with a shrug.

"You're going to get a point on your licenses again." Iruka sighed, shaking his head.

"What They don't know won't hurt Them." He laughed again.

* * *

"You bastard!" Tsunade said, she'd thrown her jacket off and pulled her hair out of the twin pigtails. A deep set grimace was locked on her otherwise pretty face, blue eyes glaring daggers at Sasuke. "There's no way I lost that hand!"

"Double or nothing?" Sasuke asked with a hint of mischief.

"Shizune, how much you got on you?" Tsunade said.

"Lady Tsunade I really don't think—"

"Forget it, how about a blood trade? Twenty years of my life goes to you if you win?"

"And if I lose?" Sasuke asked, thrumming the cards through his hands like he was a pro.

"Then twenty years of your life goes to me," Tsunade said smiling. "Name your game,"

"Blackjack,"

"Sasuke you're not seriously thinking of doing this?" Naruto said, looking at the brunet as if he were insane. "Tsunade's been playing you. Old lady you said you wouldn't take his soul."

"Can it blondie, this little shit's actually been winning." She growled.

"Really?" Naruto asked.

"That's Tsunade's upset face," Jiriya said, he, Naruto, Shizune and Lee had all folded a long time ago, Tsunade just wouldn't let Sasuke quit, or maybe Sasuke wouldn't let her quit, either way there had been quite a few wagers. For instance: Tsunade was entitled to telling Sasuke anything he wanted to know if she had knowledge of it, once. She would be the one to personally oversee his training, and she had to take him and Naruto on a trip around Hell.

"Damn it!" She broke twenty one by six.

"That's twenty years," Sasuke laughed, a very solid nineteen looking up from the faces of his cards.

"I need a drink," Tsunade said sitting back. "Shizune! Go raid the liquor cabinet, bring me whatever Jiriya hasn't opened yet." At the look on Jiriya's face, which was one of both surprise and contest, she burst out laughing.

"Shizune!" Jiriya ran after the fleeting girl. "Some of that stuff is over a century old, wait!" His voice continued to drift into the living room as he chased her.

"You're pretty good, where'd you learn to play like that?" Tsunade asked.

"My uncle," Sasuke said with a shrug. "he taught me a lot of things,"

"Well, since we're talking about your uncle, I'm assuming you mean Madara, what all can you tell me about him?" And there was the question Sasuke had been waiting on, he leaned back against the couch with Naruto finding his way into his lap.

"Yeah teme, your uncle seems like a bigger bastard than you,"

"Thanks dobe," Sasuke said biting into Naruto's shoulder.

"Ow! Hey come on! I was joking!"

"Boys." Tsunade said lowly, shaking her head at their antics. "Anyway, your uncle?"

"What's to tell? He's just an uncle to me, my great uncle actually. I never knew he was a wanted man in Hell."

"And it doesn't bother you?" Tsunade asked. "You realize he's killed people? Families? Wrought plagues on whole countries, England was never the same after the Black Death."

"There's not really a lot that can shock me right now, I just played cards with some of the most powerful demons in Hell." Sasuke shrugged. Tsunade offhandedly wondered if all the Uchiha were so calm. She looked Sasuke in the eye; there was a quiet, unsettled power behind those eyes.

"You're a strange one," Tsunade said thanking Shizune for the drink, Jiriya whined when she drained the alcohol. "What sort of drink is this?" She said making a face at it.

"It was chardonnay," Jiriya said pulling at his hair. "A very old one,"

"So…it's wine?" She asked.

"No not just wine, a chardonnay, it was supposed to be sniffed, enjoyed, tasted, and savored. Shizune never even let it air." He said despondently. "It'll never be the same again."

"Oh please, the only reason you care so much is because you get those pretty little sluts of yours nice and drunk on all that stuff in there." She held the cup up and Shizune poured her more of the priceless chardonnay.

"Hey, I like the taste of it too," Jiriya said, still lamenting.

"Anyway." Tsunade rolled her eyes. "I like you Sasuke, you're a lot less of an idiot than Naruto at least."

"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Thanks, I think." Sasuke said with a small chuckle.

There was a knock at the door. Jiriya went over and opened it.

"_What, what, what, whaddya see, standing taller than a giant. It's Killer Bee, so cool, don't even try it! My rhymes are so fresh they grow dandelions, what, what, what, what's up Jiriya?_" Jiriya almost slammed the door in the rapping young man's face. Killer Bee was a tall, dark skinned man with small, circular black glasses and white-blond hair. His strong jawed face was covered in the same colored goatee. He had a robust build, well muscled arms dropped off of his broad shouldered torso. He wore a leather vest and black pants, along with a black bandanna around his forehead.

"Where's your brother?" Jiriya asked, staring at Killer Bee, deadpanning. "I can tolerate and understand him."

"He's back at the inn, said he wanted to get some rest before the meeting, so I figured I'd drop in and see how the great Jiriya was doing since I heard you lived on this side of town."

"But…I don't like you…" Jiriya said haltingly, he thought he'd established this with Killer Bee already. Now Killer Bee's brother, who was the ruler of the Valley of Death, Jiriya liked, he got along just fine, but that may have been because the two were closer in age.

"And you've still got that sense of humor." Killer Bee laughed patting him on the shoulder, he pushed his way into the house. "This must be Naruto," Sasuke's eyebrow went up when he was stared down by Killer Bee. "You look formidable enough, but can you bust a rhyme?"

"I'm not—"

"Let's hear it! Bust a rhyme!"

"You idiot," Tsunade slapped him in the back of the head. "That's not Naruto, that is," She pointed at the blond.

"That little twerp?" Killer Bee asked, pulling his glasses down his nose to reveal chocolaty eyes.

"Twerp?" Naruto yelled balling a fist. "Just who the hell are you to call me a twerp?"

"I already told you in my awesome rap, name's Killer Bee, you can call me Lord Bee, cause I'm one of the Demon Lords," The pseudo-rhythmic young man with the white-blonde goatee and the ebony black sunglasses smiled and crossed his arms at the stunned expression on Naruto's face. "You heard me right, now check it, we tight?" He shook Naruto's hand, the blond looked at him strangely enough for a moment before he broke out into a wide smile.

"Naruto Uzumaki, newest Demon Lord around." He said shaking Killer Bee's hand.

"No, no! You gotta rap it." Killer Bee told him pulling his hand back and placing it in front of his mouth. "I'll make a beat," His beat boxing was as bad as his attempt at rapping, but Naruto didn't seem to notice, and to Sasuke's great despair Naruto rapped.

"_Yo, yo my name is Naruto…Uzumaki I like to drink saké with my teme Sasuke, he's gay! Got hair that looks like a duck's butt, but I love him, what, what?_"

Sasuke was horrified, his eyes were wide and his mouth was hanging open. Tsunade and Jiriya were rolling over one another, laughing uncontrollably; Shizune's hand covered a giggle. Lee was smiling brightly.

"Oh, good show, Naruto!" He laughed realizing he too had rhymed, Gaara sighed, pulling Lee to him and placing a finger over his mouth.

"I would really prefer if you didn't follow his footsteps," Gaara said in his usual manner.

"That was pretty great!" Killer Bee said. "Work on your delivery and we could go on tour!"

"Tour?" Sasuke asked, eyes still bulging from their sockets. "Naruto, please don't ever do that again."

"What? But he said I was good teme!" Naruto said looking confused.

"Please, if you have a shred of love for me, don't ever do that again." Sasuke pled.

"Well…" Naruto placed his hands behind his head, looking up into the ceiling.

"Naruto!"

"Okay, okay." Naruto laughed, kissing Sasuke lightly. "But you've got to promise me you won't be playing cards with Tsunade ever again."

Sasuke nodded, before laughing. "You sounded like an idiot, dobe. This time it was Naruto's turn to punch Sasuke, and again he marveled at how such a small body could produce such strength, his arm was bruised for sure.

* * *

"He didn't really know a lot," Iruka said, standing outside of pearly gates of the greatest City in the universe.

"I didn't expect him to," Kakashi shrugged. "all we have to do is report what we know and we can go meet Jiriya,"

"I don't trust it, meeting a demon, it seems so wrong."

"What's so wrong about it? They used to be our fellow brothers-in-arms."

"That's when they were angels too," Iruka said. Iruka was Kakashi's partner, well, before he was his partner in the sensual sense he was his assigned partner for missions, guardian angels, saving souls, combating evil, stuff like that. Now, well, they had a very covert partnership, bedfellows as it was known.

"Hey, everyone makes mistakes," Kakashi said smiling again and Iruka's heart melted, he felt a forbidden emotion well up inside of him that he'd once told Kakashi about. It was love, not Agape but Eros, and thus forbidden. "Try to smile when we see Michael, he's already suspicious enough, and I don't feel like Falling today."

Before Iruka could answer someone cleared his throat.

"My, my," Madara said, standing on the fluff that was the floor of Heaven. "what a turgid and devious affair," Kakashi whirled around, he and Madara were old enemies, eons before Fugaku had been born.

"Hullo," Kakashi said, his smile tight, and his eyes pinched together.

"Have you missed me Kakashi?" Madara asked, white wings pristinely held high and bristled in the small breeze. The band of compatriots behind him were all dressed as immaculately as Kakashi and Iruka were supposed to be dressed, robes of white clothed them all.

"Let's just kill this guy and move on." It was Kisame, a beast from long forgotten myths, he was blue skinned, and shark toothed, yellow eyes stared viciously out at the world around him, this place seemed too austere for such an evil being. He smiled toothily.

"Calm yourself," Itachi told him, he looked every part an angel, minus the scar on his face.

"He's only expressing himself," Deidra, the long haired, attractive blond of the group said with a small smile. "That's what art is all about, I'm sure he'll make their deaths an explosion of it." His soft looks, which could compare to Itachi's, would throw anyone off, if he got his hands on you he'd drain you of every ounce of your life blood. He wasn't a vampire, far from it, but it was the closest definition to what the world could remember of him.

Sasori remained quiet, he hardly said anything. But he was more bloodthirsty than even Kisame, poison was his game, poison that would turn to all kinds of horrible things in the bloodstream if someone so much as glanced away from him. All of them were in some way nightmares, nightmares in flesh, nightmares that spawned the actual stories and fairy tales that haunted children's books wrapped in fancy words and morals.

"I guess I don't need to ask what you're here for," Kakashi said, noting the swords in their hands. "But why?"

"Why?" Madara asked. "The world has forgotten what it means to be truly afraid that's why, whether it be witches, ghosts, ghouls, the Devil, they've all forgotten. We've been replaced by science and technology," He gave a wry smile. "I want to make them remember."

"And it doesn't have anything to do with the prospect that perhaps the humans will fear you all so much they'll erect statues of you? Name you kings, gods in your own right?"

"Perish the thought," Itachi smiled.

"Never crossed my mind," Madara said standing at the head of the ne'er-do-wells.

"I'm sure," Kakashi glared with his multicolored eyes. A long time ago he'd cut that eye out of his friend turned enemy, a man who had belonged in the clan of the Uchiha, the man who had taught Itachi, and would have still been around if Kakashi hadn't killed him. He felt a chill as he met Madara's gaze and he was reminded of his old friend, his old nemesis.

"We could spend more time talking if you wish," Madara said smugly, his low baritone rumbling the air around him. "But eventually we're going to get into the City, I'll give you the chance to run while you still can."

"I hate clichés." Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"I bet you'll hate being dead even more, it's so finite." Kisame laughed.

Kakashi had a witty comment, but instead he elected to pull two hook swords out of the air, twirling them expertly. "Go warn Michael and Gabriel, I'll hold them off," Kakashi said to Iruka.

"But—"

"There's really not a lot of time to argue Dolphin, you can yell at me later," Kakashi smiled at him, but his eyes were the most serious that Iruka had ever seen them. Iruka nodded slowly before disappearing into the City.

"You might want to go get him, you're going to need someone to carry your body off," Madara told him helpfully, and his voice might have been genuine if he wasn't known for his biting sarcasm.

Kakashi elected to stay quiet, his mind calculating the possibilities of taking this group that dark fables were made of on, a few plans struck him as feasible, but he decided he'd let it play out, whichever one made itself most available would be the one he went with.

"Who's first?" He asked. "Or is it everyone one at once?"

Madara stepped forward. "I think I'll go 'first' I've held back for a while, maybe we can seal him too, if he fights long enough, I've always wanted to seal an angel."

"Try me," Kakashi laughed watching Madara rush forward, black sword held high in one arm, the other held some particularly malicious magic meant for the meticulously mellow magnificent.

Kakashi blocked the magic with a bit of his own, he wove a spell to combat Madara's and their hands locked, the prestidigitation in either of the grips fought fiercely, swirling together and burning bright white. Avoiding the slash of his blade Kakashi brought one sword around, trying, though admittedly not his hardest, to lop off Madara's head.

Madara dodged rather well for being held by Kakashi's hand, he bent straight back, pulling the white haired angel forward, their faces were so close he could smell the mint rolling out of the celestial beings mouth with every breath.

They released one another and Kakashi did a backwards somersault, twirling the swords in his hands.

"You're more skilled than I heard," Madara smiled.

"Well I do what I can to impress," Kakashi answered.

"Good, try not to die too quickly," Madara laughed. "I hate when they die quickly, I never get to see the lights leave their eyes."

* * *

**Author's Notes**: Well that's the chapter, it's not a cliff hanger in my mind, in fact I think it's a rather good transition into something much bigger, I have a feeling this story is going to do things I hadn't thought of, because that's what it seems like, oh well I won't complain. I apologize for the alliteration, I couldn't help myself.

Love,

Hitome-Chan


	8. Chapter 8

**Teme No Baka**

**Summary: **Naruto Uzumaki didn't NEED Sasuke, or his money, or his family but without him he'd be on the streets, without Sasuke he'd be on the run from demon-hunting "angels" and probably a bit lonely. Luckily he's got Sasuke. SasuNaru AU

**Author's Notes: **This story is not dead. I refuse to let another one die. Updates are just slow, but I think we're coming to a turning point where the snowball crests the hill…the snowball being the plot. It's an analogy folks. Eh, anyway, I've got ideas for this again, but writing and updates will still be slow considering a lot of factors in my life (getting back into school properly, having no internet, pining helplessly in unrequited love blah, blah, blah) but I really want to finish this and so I shall! Next update will be sometime soon hopefully.

**Chapter Eight**

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* * *

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Kakashi huffed, golden blood flowing freely from a cut above his eye, a severe wound on his arm and sides, staining his clothes a muted yellow. His blades were covered in the blood of his enemies however, they were in no way dead, or seriously injured, but they knew he could bite now.

"Impressive," Madara admitted, eventually his small band had grown bored of the one-on-one battle and had all jumped Kakashi, he'd held his own thus far but it seemed like he was on his last leg.

"Kakashi!" That was Iruka, he must have been arriving with the Calvary, Kakashi smiled widely before he passed out. Iruka made it just in time, he caught Kakashi in his arms and held him there passionately.

"Where are your brethren?" Itachi asked, smiling.

"They are here," Iruka said angrily and behind him was the march of a thousand and one angels, each robed in white, with every kind of weaponry imaginable gleaming in the purest silver. Iruka looked behind him at the beautiful host of warriors and met a pair of blue eyes that belonged to one the most famous angels of all time who stood at the head of the charge. Michael. Then, Iruka nodded once and then he and Kakashi were gone.

* * *

This part of the Transition was different: it was the path from Heaven to Hell. The Transition here presented itself as a beach, the waves were lapping against the soft sand as Iruka and Kakashi landed here. For a moment Iruka pondered the beauty of the endless beach stretching out before them, the water was navy with bone white mist curling on the top, the sun shone golden warming the otherwise cool air and breathing it in it tasted so sweet, like ambrosia.

"Hey, Dolphin," Kakashi croaked, Iruka looked down on him with kind eyes and wiped away the daffodil colored blood cracking between his lips.

"Hi," He said with a quick, gentle kiss. "How're you doing?"

"I'll live," Kakashi decided as he struggled to sit up in Iruka's arm, the slighter angel propped him against his torso, pulling him close. "Thanks," He smirked wryly. "I'm surprised you got us here, considering you've never been,"

"I just followed the path through your mind," Iruka cooed into Kakashi's hair. "You should have come with me, they were too much of an opposing force as it was,"

"Yeah, like we need them cavorting through the City, besides I knew you'd come back quickly if my life was in danger," Kakashi's laughing face made Iruka scowl down at him.

"Were you testing me?" He asked.

"Not you, you're ineffable, I was testing the love in you, I don't know how human emotions this complex register in us, and I thought I would try it out a little," Kakashi laughed at how upset Iruka looked, he stroked the side of the brunet's face. "You were wonderful,"

"Kakashi—" Iruka's hand shook, it spread to his shoulders and before he knew it tears were welling in his eyes, he held Kakashi closer sobbing into his hair.

"I won't do it again, promise," Kakashi kissed the palsy ridden angel, the mix of his sweet blood and Iruka's sweeter lips made him smirk again.

"You better not,"

"Hope we're not interrupting," Iruka and Kakashi looked up and there were Jiriya and Tsunade standing above them. "I'm going to guess no one knows about this—" Jiriya motioned between the two of them and their closeness. "Er…abomination."

"Oh plenty of people know about it," Kakashi laughed. "You, Tsunade, Madara and his crew, Fugaku, myself and my Dolphin here,"

"Well that is plenty of beings," Jiriya said with a smile. "I wish I could say it was a pleasure to see you again, Kakashi,"

"Same to you, demon, but we could be civil with one another."

"True enough, I'll treat you respectably and expect the same. How will we go about doing this? Exchange information and then go back to our respective homes?" Jiriya asked.

"Can't, I think Dolphin and I would be happy if you took us to your home, Madara's invaded Heaven, he's got some pretty powerful weapons." Kakashi answered, Iruka helped him up, remaining as quiet as Tsunade.

"He—not again. He invaded Hell not too long ago, took out a few good men while he was there." Jiriya's face suddenly became shadowed with worry. "This isn't good, he's traveling this Transition better than most full demons or angels,"

"And he's doing it with a group, it's hard enough to go it alone."

"Come on, this isn't the best place for talking then." Jiriya motioned and they head towards Hell.

"Is our long lost brother in?" Kakashi asked, referring to none other than the Betrayer.

"'Course not, he's hard pressed to be down there when Earth is such a cesspool of sin and transgression," Tsunade finally spoke up. "You've got wards to protect yourself right?" There wasn't much compassion in her voice when she asked the angel, but she didn't really need Jiriya's new guests collapsing in pain as soon as they entered through the Gates of Hell, even if they were invited it would only lessen the pain of sin on their conscious, it'd be like her going to Heaven and bathing in the light of the Host Himself.

"Yeah," Kakashi said leaning against Iruka for support. "Probably won't last longer than a few days, but hopefully we'll be out of your hair before then,"

"Not at all, we'll find something," Jiriya waved them onward through the Transition which it got darker, as they walked it went from Beach to the darkened woods and then they were standing in front of the Gate, which was open as always but when Kakashi and Iruka were standing before it though the thing jumped and struggled against the chain that held it open.

Ignoring the quivering gateway they pressed on, pressure started building in the angels' heads as they entered the grim place; the darkness receded as they moved through deeper into the first circle of Hell.

"Which circle do you reside in?" Kakashi asked.

"First," Jiriya said. "lucky for you two, being on the council I get to live on the surface," Then Jiriya made a face. "Damn it. There's a gathering of Demon Master and Lords in my home, but there's no danger to you there."

"We can handle ourselves, I assure you," Kakashi said nodding.

"Here's to hoping then," They made their way to Jiriya's meager temporary home and when they entered Jiriya was almost happy to learn that only his previous guests were still there, plus one Killer Bee's brother, named simply A. When Kakashi and Jiriya followed in behind them every demon in the room was quickly on his feet. "Calm yourselves," Jiriya said in a voice that almost demanded the action be followed.

"What treachery is this?" Killer Bee nearly spat, such a show of unbridled emotion was unheard of in him. Shizune wrapped a calming hand around Killer Bee's arm and the white haired warrior took a breath.

"It's no treachery," Jiriya said.

"You bring them in here?" A, the older brother of Killer Bee glared.

"What's wrong with everybody?" Sasuke asked, trying vainly to make Naruto resume his seat, and instead standing up himself. "Kakashi, how'd you get here?"

"You know this angel?" Naruto asked, looking at Sasuke like he'd grown a second and then a third head.

"Know him? I worked with him," Sasuke said.

"It seems our Heavenly cousins were watching over Sasuke as well," Tsunade said. "Where as Gaara seemed to gravitate towards you unconsciously, I would wager a guess that Kakashi knew who you were and about your family history,"

Gaara looked impassive at seeing Kakashi, the only hint he was really paying much attention was his arched brow. Kakashi smiled at the redhead all the same and stepped forward. "Glad to see you made it home safely, I should have known you'd bring Lee with you," Kakashi laughed and the tension broke a little.

"Kakashi it is so good to see you alive and well!" Lee smiled shaking hands with the angel. "Who is this hiding so shyly behind you?"

"It isn't with shyness he hides," Kakashi assured. "He doesn't want to overstep his bounds here in Hell, his angelic way of thinking makes being here an affront to our Boss and he doesn't want to accidentally burn one of you with saying the wrong words,"

"He shouldn't worry about that," Jiriya placated.

"We're stronger than he thinks," Tsunade assured.

"Yes, all of you but young Naruto there," Kakashi smiled and its radiance was so brilliant that Naruto had to shield his eyes for a moment, the whole of the demons seemed uncomfortable but not as affected by the smile.

"You don't know a damn thing about me, I can handle it." Naruto stated.

"Oh I know quite a bit, young man. More than anyone's ever told you really, considering I knew your father and mother," Naruto blanched at that. "But you and Sasuke were both such bundles of joy, not so long ago, and it might have been clandestine you should end up together, though probably not in such a sense of that statement."

"That's probably enough, Kakashi," Jiriya said.

"What?" Kakashi laughed. "Had Fugaku taken a bride back when Naruto was born I hardly think any of this would be happening, Sasuke might be Naruto's best friend, but it can't be helped this way either,"

"How did you know my father?" Naruto asked.

"Now is not the time, Naruto," Jiriya said.

"Why not? Madara's out there right? I know how you demons work, and I'm a little more than upset to see Naruto here now," Kakashi answered back, nearly roaring. "I bet you've told him nothing, right?"

Jiriya didn't answer.

"I figured as much, do you even know what Madara wants? He wants to rule Heaven, Hell, and Earth, we have to work together to stop him, we can't keep hiding information from each other, that includes to the children," he turned to the blond again. "Naruto, your father and Sasuke's father were the one's who first enacted a treaty of peace between Heaven and Hell, only he was an angel who took a mortal bride. Fugaku, at the time, was slowly becoming more civil. Of course, after he saw what happened to your mother and Minato he grew outrageously angry, he fought long and hard beside Madara then, and they killed a lot of angels, he had no idea that you had been given up in order to try save Kushina, your mother." Kakashi shook his head. "No one knows where she ran off to, driven crazy by everything that happened, but if things would have been different, if Heaven wouldn't have acted so ill at the thought of our worlds no longer being at an ends then things would be a lot different now."

"Enough!" Jiriya said standing between Naruto and Kakashi. "He's heard enough, angel. This is not what I intended when I thought I was allowing you shelter in my home."

"It's all going to come spilling out soon, Jiriya." Kakashi shrugged lackadaisically. "They didn't kill the first few Demon Masters because they wanted to keep them alive for a fight later. They'll be back."

Naruto was shaking so badly that he had to be ushered to a seat. "What are you trying to say about me? That I'm an angel?" He asked. "That I'm half human? That's—it's not possible."

"You're right. You're not an angel, anymore. Why do you think that the name of God, Our Father Above, hurts you so much more than it does the others? They're just demons, born that way, it is their nature and they should have a fear of Father, but you. You're special, you were part of our race, a jewel between the humans and the angels, like most Hybrids of that crossing are. But unlike human-angel Hybrids you retained your humanity mostly, your body didn't burn up under the power of the Lord and you were able to live here undetected." Kakashi explained.

"Naruto," Iruka reached out and then pulled back, his eyes were brimming with tears. "Your dad, he told me I would be your Uncle Iruka. I only held you once, but I could already tell you would be as spirited as your mother." Kakashi put an arm around Iruka and their light shown a bit brighter in the dim undecorated home of Jiriya.

"Why did all this happen?" Sasuke finally asked, turning on the angels and the two members of the three members of the Demon Lord Council.

"Why? Sasuke this has been destined to happen for a long time. Revelation. Ragnarok, The End of Days. The Second Coming," Kakashi said. "It has many names, but most people just call it the final calamity, Apocalypse."

"It's been in production for a while, that's why everyone was so upset at your parents, with their temporary truce the Apocalypse was put to a standstill for a couple centuries, humans weren't supposed to get so advanced. They were never supposed to figure out the cures for some of the plagues He sent down to them, never supposed to question their beliefs. Look what it's done, free thinkers are still advancing the world to oblivion, there are ten million more souls going to Hell than there were ever meant to be." Iruka continued.

"Feh. You call anyone with a mind of their own a 'free-thinker'." Jiriya shot. "Some of them are just as idiotic as your religious nuts."

"Guys, right now isn't the time for fighting." Sasuke said, who had a better grasp on the situation than Naruto considering he'd been dealing with the thought of being a half breed for the past few days. Plus, the thought of being a half angel, given up to the Dark Lord to save your mortal mother was a lot to cope with.

There was a knock on the door. "Shit." Jiriya said. "That's the other Demon Masters." A look of alarm crossed Kakashi and Iruka's faces. "Calm down, just don't talk too much and it'll be fine." He went to the door and the two angels found their way against a wall. He opened it and there stood six figures.

"Sorry we're late," One of them said, an exuberant female from the sound of it. "We decided to just meet up and come at once." She said coming through.

"Yugito, Yagura, Roshi, Han, Utakata, Fu please come in." Jiriya said almost graciously as he welcomed them in. "You all know Killer Bee and his brother A, and Gaara of course, but this is Naruto, the replacement of Kyuubi."

"He's scrawny," The tallest one said, Han, Jiriya had called him. Han didn't show his face, instead a mask of armor seemed to be gather around the lower half, from the top of his nose to his neck. He wore a hat, an Oriental reed one at that, to deter whoever was looking at him from identifying much about him at all. The only thing that you could really see were his light green eyes and his blond eyebrows which led Sasuke to believe he had blond hair. He was as muscular as he was tall, and he had to lean down a bit in Jiriya's small home.

Jiriya expected Naruto to jump up and yell something after a remark like that, but he just seemed dead. The others were easily described, one of them was redheaded, with a thick mountaineer beard to match. He wore a partial mask that ran across his nose and forehead, and then another had gray, spiked hair, not nearly as spiked as Naruto's, but it wasn't completely flat either, he had lilac colored eyes and he wasn't very tall, shorter than Gaara at least with a rather dull expression.

Next there was a girl, she had nearly blonde hair, but it looked more like algae than it did wheat. Another girl still had mint colored hair, and orange eyes, which was believable for a demon, then a melancholy gentleman, he had short brown hair parted over his left eye and he looked particularly apathetic.

"Well," Jiraya said. "Gang's all here."

"I have a question," Han said. "Why the hell are there holy fuckers here?"

"Ah, right, these are, um, well, they're here to help," Jiriya said, managing a smile. "Heaven was attacked by the same people who came down here and went on a rampage."

"Oh really?" The uninterested looking one said, Utakata he'd been called. " 'The enemy of mine enemy is my friend' eh?"

"Now really isn't the time to be quoting Arabic poetry," Fu, the mint haired girl said. "What exactly happened?" So Kakashi walked forward, and he told them everything that happened and when that was said and done he waited.

"Should we be impressed?" Yagura, the short lilac eyed boy asked. "I'm guessing this Madara guy was born before I came around, because I've never heard of him."

"He's…" Jiriya grabbed Sasuke by the arm and pulled him into the circle. "this young man's uncle." There was a loud protest shortly after that from the newly arrived demons.

"Madara's nephew? He smells human!" One of them yelled. "But look at the eyes! They're as dark and soulless as that black hearted wretch's." Another one answered and it went on like that for a while, till finally the redhead with the headpiece that covered parts of his face cleared his throat and the room immediately became quiet at the sound of it.

"Young man," He said. "Come here." Sasuke walked forward and the masked redhead grabbed him by his face. Kakashi gripped Naruto's arm as the young demon almost jumped forward and shook his head. The redhead man, who Jiriya had called Roshi, was staring hard into Sasuke's black eyes with his own dark brown ones. "It's true." Roshi said. "I can see it, your hidden powers. Would you like me to unlock them for you?" Then the old man gave him a large grin.

"No!" Sasuke looked behind him, it had been Tsunade.

"What?" He and Naruto said at the same time.

"Speak, Lady Tsunade," Roshi prompted.

"I—we don't know what will happen." Tsunade said. "He might not be able to handle all that power."

"I'm sure he is more than capable." Roshi said with another smile then he looked down at Sasuke again. "I am the oldest of the Demon Masters, I am Roshi formerly of Iwakageru, a land long since fallen into the sea, and as such I can see many things, young Sasuke." Roshi's vision trailed up and landed on Naruto. "Let him go, Angel." He said and Kakashi let Naruto go, the bouncy blond was immediately by Sasuke's side. "This is your mate, no?"

"Yeah, he is." Naruto said, taking Sasuke's hand in his.

Roshi nodded. "I see, then all I can say is good luck to you." He turned back to Sasuke. "Would you like for me to unlock the warring powers inside of you? It would open your uncle's eyes to your location, but with training you could subdue your power enough for him not to be able to detect you."

"I—" Sasuke looked behind him. There was that Killer Bee guy who had become uncharacteristically quiet and his brother who he figured was almost always quiet, then there was Tsunade who was shaking her head 'no' and Shizune who looked helpless in the situation. There was Jiriya who wouldn't meet his eyes and Gaara who looked like he could care less, Lee was holding a thumbs up and nodding his head vigorously, and Sasuke could almost read the thoughts of advancing your strength to exert more power in your youth or something like it.

"It isn't their decision," Roshi chided. "It is no one's but yours."

He felt Naruto squeeze his hand and Sasuke looked over at him, the blond was wearing solemn look but he wasn't inclining one way or another, then Sasuke nodded. "Do it." He said. "I'm tired of this game already, and I want to get it all over so I can go back to my little apartment with Naruto."

Roshi reached a hand out and laid it on Sasuke's forehead. He was surprised how cold it was considering that Naruto was always burning up again his skin. "I am from the seventh layer of Hell," Roshi said. "I feel no cold, no warm." He said reading Sasuke's thoughts. "I, Sasuke, am Roshi, and I call out what is held deep with inside."

There was a surge, every muscle in Sasuke grew tense and the world around him grew black. Suddenly he was falling back and Naruto was catching him. "I told you it was a bad idea," Tsunade said and then Sasuke fell unconscious.

* * *

When he woke up he found himself on the bed he'd borrowed the night previous, it seemed a lot bigger without Naruto in it, but the blond was leaning against the door frame, heavy in conversation with whoever was on the other side. "We can't let you guys do that, Madara is out there!" Jiriya was saying.

"Look, I don't care. There's nowhere that is safe for us now, Madara can navigate the Transitions, and he can track Sasuke even better now! We might as well go back to Earth, Hell isn't healthy for him, or Lee anyway, we'll bring Gaara with us."

"Naruto," Tsunade's voice came into the room. "We can't just let you leave now, we have to protect you."

"Oh! Like you've been protecting me from who my parents really were? Or from the fact that my mother may still be alive?" Naruto said in a very angry whisper. "Because if that's your idea of protection then I can't bear it anymore!"

"Naruto!" Tsunade yelled and Sasuke scrambled out of the bed, he was right behind Naruto then.

"What's going on?" He said.

"Naruto wants to move you two back to your world, and we're trying to tell him how stupid that is." Jiriya said, he looked tired, as did Tsunade who was standing right beside him.

"We're going," Naruto said.

"Hold on, why do you want to go Naruto?" Sasuke asked.

"Because, teme, it isn't good for you here, it isn't good for anyone here but especially people who aren't used to it! Gaara and I will do some cloaking spells or whatever the hell we have to do to mask you."

Sasuke grew concerned. "But…there's more strength in numbers Naruto, if we disband—"

"NO! Teme, I don't want to hear it from you too. We have to go."

"At least say you'll come back." Jiriya said. "When things are a bit more calm, and we know more about what Madara is doing? We've got people searching for him, a few low ranking demons, but they'll report in if anything happens."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. I just hate that he has to be here, I didn't want to bring him here, it was a last resort. His life has been put in danger twice now because of that." Naruto said. "We have to go."

"You can't think—"

"As a Demon Master I invoke the right to do as I please," Naruto said fiercely. "We're not going back to Japan, that place is full of the original oni-demons, and I know more of the biblical guys than I do those half-wits."

"Wait…what?" Sasuke said, he'd been quite this whole time simply because he knew he had no say in anything they were doing, but what Naruto said had been confusing. "What do you mean by that?"

"There's not really a lot of time to explain that, Sasuke." Naruto said, but he cast sad eyes in Sasuke's direction. "Not that anyone's explained much of anything to us."

"The oni-demons—they're Japanese demons, whereas most of the inhabitants you see around here are more personified through Christianity, we're all the same, but we take on more of the appearance of which ever religion is the most popular, in some places where beliefs are still clinging hopefully to tradition filled cities sometimes there are remnants of the past still able to be found." Gaara explained easily.

"Sasuke, Naruto, you two have to understand," Jiriya told him. "There are certain things we just didn't want you to know, I didn't think you'd be able to handle the fact that your mother was still alive, Naruto. Kyuubi would not have let you see her and it was the furthest thing on my mind when Hell was attacked."

"But she was human," Naruto said, his mind suddenly sidetracked. "How could she be alive?"

"There's a reason that humans and all the other races aren't supposed to see each other," Kakashi spoke. "When we introduce humans to otherworldly peoples it does something to the human, sets of an unexpected sort of life expectancy. Your mother," He pointed to Sasuke. "May live for another hundred years simply because she's been around demons and Hybrids, but it all takes different effects on the humans. When it's angels, well, let's just say you're normally happier and healthier—"

"Bullshit," Jiriya said.

"Either way," Kakashi smiled. "When we mix it's not good for the lesser beings. I always think it's funny that humans seem to have this idea that when we all mate together their mortality will factor into the child."

"What do you mean?" Sasuke found himself asking again.

"A child may be half mortal, Sasuke, but it will never be human, in all human folklore they seem to think that that child will be able to ignore the other side of its heritage if given the choice," Here Kakashi smiled again. "If you love a demon your child—"

"Your child will be more likely to be more comfortable in Hell. That is all." Jiriya said. "I let you into my home, angel, you should really stop undermining demons."

Naruto sighed. "You two can keep arguing all you want, but Sasuke and I are going. They can find us here, they can move between the Transitions like their fucking direct paths, it'll be harder to locate us on the human plane, there's too much activity going on there."

"As much as I wish I could send you there—"

"You don't have any say in it." Naruto told him. Jiriya opened his mouth again but Naruto grabbed Sasuke by the hand.

"We're leaving."

"Are you sure we should?" Sasuke asked. "Our protection is here."

"No it isn't," Naruto said. "Kakashi came here bleeding and limping, and they leveled an entire city before anyone could do anything about it, I got sealed, and you got attacked and there as nothing I could do about it. We're no safer here than we were back in your house with your uncle breathing down my neck. Besides, Gaara is going with us." They were quiet then, all of them. The seriousness of Naruto's words seem to sink in; it was true so far they seemed to be completely defenseless against Madara and his group.

"Let him go," Tsunade said. "He's right, under the law we can't hold him anyway, he isn't bound anymore to Kyuubi, and rightly since he became a Demon Master we have even less ability to detain him."

"They'll die out there all alone!" Jiriya shouted angrily.

"Not if we watch over them," Tsunade said.

"You know better than anyone that we're bound here." He glared at the blonde woman.

"But we're not," Gaara said. We'll keep a channel of communication open with you." Jiriya didn't look pleased by that though. "What better protection does this human have besides us?"

"If he had his way he'd send the whole damned Demon Court with you." The Demon Court consisted of all the lords, who unlike Tsunade, Jiriya, and Orochimaru, could walk the worlds between Earth and Hell freely. It was their job to keep Hell in working order, so she didn't complain, but it was a pain in the ass not being able to make full journeys to the Earthly realm, sure they could send projections of themselves, but those things were useless in any real fights.

"We're going Jiriya." Naruto said. "That guy did something to Sasuke and it couldn't have been good."

Jiriya sighed then. "Where will you go, Naruto?" The fox smiled.

"We'll go close enough to the Bible belt of the world that Itachi won't be able to sniff us out, but far enough away that we won't be weakened too much." He said. "Come on guys,"

* * *

They left from Jiriya's place and piled into Gaara's caravan pulled by hellhounds. Sasuke got a good look at the animals this time, and he really wished he hadn't. The beasts were all black, the only white on them being their eyes and their vicious looking teeth. Their eyes were unsettling though, there was no pupil to them, just pure white. They stood at a man's six feet tall, snarling and snapping, black lips pulled back and foaming. They were like a mix between a Doberman and a Great Dane, only demonic. Large globs of saliva were dribbling out of their mouths, and a few of them trailed their pupil-less gaze on Sasuke, following him till he reached the caravan.

"Where do you expect us to go, Naruto?" Gaara asked. "What is this Bible belt?"

"I'm not really sure, Kyuubi talked about it a lot. He told me if I ever one of his enemies was after him that's where he'd go." Naruto said truthfully. "It's in some place called America."

"America?" Lee nearly bounded with excitement. "I have heard such tales of that land! Not all of them good…but for the most part I hear it is the land of opportunity!"

"Yeah," Sasuke said. "But opportunity for whom?"

"You mustn't be that way Sasuke," Lee said. "Sure all the things that have been happening are a bit beyond my understanding, but I knew when I found out that Gaara was what he is that things like this would happen, you must show the strength towards Naruto who is only doing this to protect you." Sasuke turned his vision on the blond.

"What _are _we doing anyway? What happened in there?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto moved a piece of spiky hair out of his face, and rested a hand under his chin, he glanced out the window as the cart was pulled along the bumpy roads of the burning world around them then he sat back. "That guy,"

"Roshi," Gaara supplied.

"Yeah him, as soon as his hand touched you, you passed out. I…I started yelling and screaming at them, but they wouldn't let me get to you, they told me if you woke up that your powers hadn't killed you, they told me it was for the best." Naruto sighed again. "Teme, I don't like feeling like I'm not in control of the situation, and those pricks outnumber me, even if we're all in the same rank now I'm still getting my opinions passed over, and my cares and worried go unheeded. I—I just don't want to deal with that again. You were so cold," Naruto took Sasuke's hand. "I didn't think you'd wake up."

"But I woke up not too long after that, right?" Sasuke said, squeezing Naruto's hand. "So it's no big deal, I'm fine." He tried to smile a little, though it wasn't much better than the patented Uchiha grin.

"You were asleep for four days, teme." Naruto told him shakily. "I couldn't hear your heartbeat." His voice was so quiet, Sasuke didn't think Naruto had the ability to be that quiet. He smiled beside himself and kissed Naruto's cheek.

"Stop worrying," He said with another kiss. "I'm awake now." Naruto nodded, and he leaned against Sasuke, who put his arm around his waist and pulled him close, then Sasuke had a thought. "How do those things know where to take us?"

"Well, they will only take us as far as the gates," Gaara said, but the felt that they were supposed to go there because that is where I wished them to go." They came to a halt. "To operate the Transition we have to have a destination in mind, or else we'll wander it for an eternity, do you have a destination, Naruto?"

"Yeah." Naruto said and he added a smile almost as if in second thought. "Have faith in me."

Gaara chuckled. "That's a lot to ask of a demon."


End file.
